Hello Kitty Plush Dress (again)

There is a lot about Hello Kitty that scares me, and then there are Hello Kitty items that absolutely petrify me:

Hello Kitty plush dress

Apparently the Hello Kitty plush couture dress didn’t remain on the runway. It takes something pretty hideous that is able to both terrify and be just plain wrong at the same time. How anyone, including Hello Kitty fanatics, could still think this is a “cute idea” after seeing a photo like this is beyond me (but then again, so is all the Hello Kitty stuff). I’m going to be having Hello Kitty Hell nightmares tonight…

Thanks to darren who located this photo and should be forced to date someone that wears this dress weekly for terrifying me with it…

Hello Kitty Cat

I feel sorry for all cats that are owned by Hello Kitty fanatics because it’s things like this which they have to look forward to in their life:

Hello Kitty cat

Hello Kitty cat

Yes, it’s a “turn your cat into Hello Kitty” kit and runs about $150. If cats have nightmares, this is exactly what they are made of. My wife was giggling like a little school girl when she found it and all I could do was look at our cats and think, “well, enjoy life now because you don’t know what’s coming to devestate it in a few days…”

It’s not often that I think that Hello Kitty Hell could be worse, but at least my wife is not dressing me up in outfits like that (yet…….)

Thanks to kaori who should have to wear an outfit like this for bringing it to the attention of my wife…

Hello Kitty Etch-A-Sketch Purse

One of the many traits of Hello Kitty is that she will adopt and ruin the coolest of things in order to brand them the Hello Kitty way. That is exactly what she decided to do when making the Hello Kitty Etch-A-Sketch:

Hello Kitty Etch-A-Sketch Purse

These were totally cool toys when I was a kid and to see a Hello Kitty version of it just makes me sick to my stomach. Worse, they didn’t just brand a Etch-A-Sketch with Hello Kitty, but actually put it on a purse to try and make it into a fashion statement. I don’t know if I should be more upset with Etch-A-Sketch for selling out or Sanrio for even conceiving such an idea.

Of course, my wife had to get one the moment she saw it. “Won’t it be so cute to be able to draw pictures when I’m sitting around bored? I can even Etch-A-Sketch Hello Kitty!” Just thinking about her in the Hello Kitty plush dress, wearing Hello Kitty high heels and carry this Hello Kitty Etch-A-Sketch bag while going to the Hello Kitty musical pretty much is an ultimate image of Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Couture

I know that it is going to be a truly Hello Kitty Hellish day when my wife screams, “OMG!! You’ve got to come here and look at this!!!! It is soooooo cute!” I should have learned by now when those words exit my wife’s mouth, the only logical course of action is to induce some life threatening injury to myself and hope that I die before I am forced to see whatever hideous Hello Kitty item has made her squeal with such joy. Alas, somewhere my mind makes a grave judgemental error and stops me from doing the merciful thing by rationalizing that Hello Kitty Hell can’t possible get any worse than it already is. That, of course, is proven to be incorrect time and again and I realize that death would have been a lot less painful than having to see and hear about yet another Hello Kitty item.

This is especially true when it comes to Hello Kitty fashion. There is something that makes Hello Kitty fanatics believe that anything Hello Kitty makes clothes look cute, while the rest of us simply want to vomit when seeing it. I can’t think of a better example than this monstrosity which my wife thinks is absolutely fabulous:

Hello Kitty runway fashion

I know, I know. You’re looking at that and saying to yourself that it must be a Halloween party costume or something (while valiantly trying to keep the food in your stomach). Any normal person has to make an assumption like this because it is simply too difficult to perceive that anyone, even a Hello Kitty fanatic, could view something like this as high fashion. Unfortunately, it is all too real…

So as you sit looking at your computer in disbelief, rejoice in that fact that you are not living with someone that actually is searching for one of these and has decided that if she can’t find one, she will make one herself (see, I knew a self inflicted wound and quick death — or even a long, drawn out death — would have been less painful…) And pray that the next time my wife shouts those words, I have enough sense to put myself out of my Hello Kitty Hell misery…