Hello Kitty Motorcycle Honda NSR

It’s when I receive emails like this, it’s going to be a bad day in Hello Kitty Hell (then again, can there ever really be a “good” day when your life is surrounded by the evil feline?) because I know the reaction of my wife will be the complete opposite of mine. Unwritten rules in Hello Kitty Hell state that the Hello Kitty fanatic will love a Hello Kitty item in direct inverse of how much the husband despises it. So I already knew what her reaction was going to be the second I saw this Hello Kitty Honda NSR motorcycle:

Hello Kitty motorcycle

Hello Kitty Honda motorcycle

Hello Kitty Honda NSR motorcycle

First, why would someone ever do that to a nice piece of machinery? I guess that’s a question that you can really ask about anything that has been Hello Kittified, but a motorcycle? The main problem with this is that I’ve been thinking about getting a motorcycle, with the number one attribute being that there aren’t Hello Kitty motorcycles, so the last thing I needed to show up in my email box was a Pepto-Bismol tinted, blinged out Hello Kitty motorcycle model to give my wife the idea that this would be a good thing to get.

Of course, my wife adores it. She’s been full out against the motorcycle idea as she stumped for the Hello Kitty scooter as being a better choice, but did a 100% about face upon seeing this. “Oh, if you get that motorcycle, I don’t have a problem…”

Somehow, a 6 foot 3 inch foreigner riding around in Japan on this with a Hello Kitty helmet seems like a good excuse for the police to shoot me as a suspected terrorist (I mean, seriously, wouldn’t you expect a terrorist to be using things like this on his final mission to really bring fear into the Japanese people?). All I know is my dream of having transportation free of Hello Kitty is quickly fading away and another reminder that Hello Kitty Hell can always get worse…

Sent in by Lexmj who noted, “I saw this horrendous motorcycle while visiting this particular motorshop for repairs…I really felt that it scares the spirit of riding outta this bike. I hope it won’t cause nightmares to you as it did to me, really dampens my passion for riding whenever I thought of it” which, of course, is exactly what he accomplished by sending this too me and therefore should have to ride that thing everyday for the rest of his life as punishment…

Hello Kitty Swarovski Crystal Covered Bike

It’s when I receive emails like this that I know it’s really going to be a Hello Kitty Hell day. I’ve noticed a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics modding their stuff so that they can have the only (and most expensive) of that certain kind of item. Thus it was not a surprise (although it still made me want to run to the toilet) when this arrived in me email box:

Hello Kitty bike

Hello Kitty bike

Hello Kitty bike

I’m not sure what it is with Hello Kitty and Swarovski crystals, but this is definitely a Hello Kitty fanatic thing (see my wife’s modded cell phone). I think that Sanrio and Swarovski have secretly teamed up after discovering some special region of the brain in Hello Kitty fanatics which goes into overdrive when the two are combined while the rest of us normal folks are left staring at stinging bling that makes us want to cut our eyes out because doing so would be less painful.

What’s worse is the Hello Kitty fanatic is totally proud of this monstrosity:

I got the most expensive Hello Kitty bike on the planet! I spent one year covering my Hello Kitty bike in Swarovski crystals. Literally thousands of dollars were spent and it has approximately 50,000 crystals on it.

Yep, that pretty well sums up a Hello Kitty fanatic. Of course, my wife loves it. “It shines and sparkles bringing Hello Kitty brightness wherever she goes. Isn’t that wonderful?” I was tempted to answer, but decided that now that winter is here, it’s no fun to sleep alone on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag…

Sent in by Dottie who should have the the good fortune to have this pimped out contraption stolen, but who is safe with it because I can’t imagine that anyone (including the worst criminal elements) would ever want to be seen with something like that…