It seems that one Hello Kitty fanatic didn’t appreciate my idea of having the Hello Kitty golf balls “accidentally find their way into (water) hazards one after another after I smack them as hard as I can” and decided to email my wife before I took off on my golf outing. Basically, the anonymous emailer said I was going to “abuse” Hello Kitty (I could make a pretty good argument that it’s not possible to abuse a golf ball when using it properly for a game it was designed for, but it wouldn’t matter because Hello Kitty fanatics don’t use logic when it comes to Hello Kitty) and my wife agreed.
To make a long story short, the previous golf balls were confiscated (to be displayed as part of your collection, of course) and I was given a set of three used Hello Kitty golf balls from her golf bag to use with the stern warning that they “all better return safely and don’t swing too hard.”

That sounds much more like the Hello Kitty Hell I’ve grown used to…