Hello Kitty Hitler

Hmmmmmmm…an email sent to me tonight:

ok, first off, i love your blog. when i first found it i kept reading it until about seven in the morning, i started at nine. i can’t get enough of it and it has awakened me to the hellish nightmare that lives under the white outer coating of that evil cat. i had no idea till now. and the way you write about it is amazing and is probably one of the biggest reasons i come back everyday to read it, yet…

i couldn’t help but wonder what kind of justice there is in the world that would allow someone as hilarious and amazing as you to suffer through this kind of eternal torment. I’ve studied medieval tortures and would gladly volunteer for any of those than live in one day of your life. i thought about it for a long time to understand why you are made to suffer so horrendous a punishment each and everyday of your life, and i think i finally found it. its a two part theory.

1. Hindus’ were right
2. your the reincarnation of Hitler

it sounds crazy but it is the only concept i could think of to explain this phenomenon. a good witty person who hasn’t done anyone any harm living through a torture worse than damnation on a daily basis, and even when he sleeps (hello kitty sleeping bag or ((I’m assuming your wife has them)) hello kitty sheets) the only possible way you could possibly deserve this punishment would be by being the most evil creature in existence, and Satan has his own hell plus was never born, so Hitler! there is no other possible explanation i could possibly come up with. it sucks dude but i think you were Hitler. but remember its just a theory (one that helps justify my need to laugh at your suffering.) say hello to the hell cat for me


p.s. the other genius about this idea is that the hello kitty fanatics that read your site won’t help but be able to agree with this and say your Hitler (because they need to justify how you couldn’t like the stupid hell cat) but by doing so also admit that hello kitty is the worst form of punishment and torture imaginable. and if by some chance they decide not to jump on this chance then hey, at least there is someone who has it worse out there than you. either way you win!

I know that I live in Hello Kitty Hell when I’m actually in a good mood and have a smile on my face after being called the reincarnation of Hitler because of the simple fact that the email didn’t come with an image of the evil feline attached…

Update: Of course, this lack of attachments with the evil feline couldn’t last. I log on today with 7 emails from various readers (there are obvioulsly way too many people with too much time on their hands for thinking to even search for something like this and then to email it to me) with the following image attached:

Hello Kitty Hitler

53 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Hitler”

  1. The only part that they got wrong is that not only were you once Hitler, you are still just as bad. At least someone can see the truth beneath your skin and how awful you are toward Hello Kitty. It’s good that people are catching on to the lies that you tell and the untruths that you blog about. I told you it was a matter of time before people would see the truth.

  2. …or you could have missed the entire intro part. and the ending, the explination in which the fact lies that darlene has technically admitted to hello kitty being the worst form of torment in existance, yay me!

  3. Also, because Darlene has now compared someone to Hitler, she has invoked Godwin’s Law, and lost!
    Personally, I’m going with the theory that Darlene is a troll, simply because I refuse to believe that anyone is so stupid as to actually think that the majority of the world agrees with her about HK.

  4. LoL, nice.

    I can’t believe Darlene thinks hating fake cats makes you as detestible as a man who tried to wipe out an entire race of human beings. WTG you! XD

  5. Today I spent a total of about 5 hours reading your blog. From the HK theme song, to blinged out cat-mobiles, to HK weddings (for god’s sake!) I have, too, now realized that Hello Kitty is possessed by the devil. I never really despised her. I just thought she was kinda cute and a lot of annoying. But reading almost every blog you’ve ever posted today, I really do feel your pain. Every word of every blog made me feel the horror you live every day. I cannot even begin to immagine. Thank you for opening my eyes.

  6. Yeah!!!!
    I have to say Ghost, your email hit the nail on the head…but does that make the rest of us Nazi’s????
    Lord, I hope not… being German and all is enough for me…
    I have to say whenever I pull this up at work I am never disappointed, I scare my coworkers by laughing out loud(though I’m now beginning to think it may be all the HK at my desk).
    Bravo Ghost!

  7. Ghost, thatยดs impressive! I like the way your mind works…
    Mhkitty, I bet theyยดre not scared, just secretly jealous of your desk. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. I’ve even caught my boss using one of my plushes as a punching bag… gasp!
    I’m planning a super Hello Kitty takeover of my desk for April Fool’s…I’ll send in pics ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. Ghost, you’ve got a wicked sense of humor. That e-mail was hilarious! And of course, Darlene fell right into your trap. Good job!

    And I agree with Rebecca that Darlene has to be a troll, because surely there’s no one out there that’s actually that mroronic and delusional.

  10. If I were jewish I think I might be offended that Darlene just compared bashing a fictional cartoon drawing to murdering millions of innocent people.

  11. The picture that is…not the comparing of HKH to the killing of thousands of innocent people…really Darlene, you should be ashamed of yourself….
    Rock on Ghost!!!!

  12. I am furious at catsthatlooklikehitler.com!! LMAO! Society fails again!
    mhkitty : whoever raised her and gave her internet access should be apologizing to us all (first and foremost our host who I’m sure is just oodles of happy he found a place to vent only to be met with that!!), darlene’s not all to blame! XD

  13. I think our author secretly likes HK… I mean, really, if it bothered him that much, he could just get divorced and then he’d be free forever.

  14. elendae, why should he keep it a secret if he likes it? lots of others have already admitted to it, and its the internet, its not like someone is actually gonna find them, and if he secretly liked it then there’d be no point in making a hello kitty hate site in the first place, and even if for some reason all those happened, he’d have no reason to be as enthusiastic about hating hello kitty as he is.
    plus, he apparently loves his wife more than he hates hello kitty, otherwise he probably would have divorced her, i compliment him on loving her so much even though he hates hello kitty so much

  15. ROTFLMMFAO! You go ghost. And to those of you who say that NO ONE could be so messed up as to think that everyone should agree with them, remember, if no one was insane, we wouldn’t need asylums. Btw darlene, maybe you should see if there are Hello Kitty Asylums. Decorated from top to bottom in HK, so you never have to leave.

    BTW, for those of you who care, it’s HK’s birthchart and report, on Tarot.com.

  16. Darlene ALWAYS misses the beginning, middle and end of his comments. That’s her charm!

    She is a major part of the HKHELL experience. She speaks for the fans.

    Just as clueless are those that wonder why the author stays with his wife, etc. They just aren’t very funny.

  17. MiSpoonIs2Big: I second the Asylum thing….and you have way too much time on your hands to the link ๐Ÿ˜‰

    DJPsychomike: dude….too funny! We all wonder ‘sometimes’ why he stays with his wife….ah, must be the power of love!

  18. Actually Mhkitty, all I did was go to type in Hello Kitty Asylum on yahoo as a joke (to see if there REALLY were any), and it came up with HK Astrology instead. As a laugh, I posted it.

  19. Wow, I wish I had that kinda luck …type in ‘hot man’ and poof! There’s a man hot in front of me ๐Ÿ™‚
    He he he… Sorry, I’ve had WAAAYYY too much Gatorade and Starbucks today!!!!
    (And I mistakenly looked at the Bikini Nightmare again… I have to go take a shower now….and wash away the filth of looking at that again!)

  20. Actually, this was done years ago in National Lampoon-instead of Hello Kitty Hitler it was pictured as ‘Heil Kitty’ (and yes, her mouth was missing, but the image here is close to what I recall seeing.)

  21. Darlene, if you think people that dislike Hello Kitty are just as bad as the Nazi’s and what they stood for, you are severely sick in the head and I actually hope the day you pass away draws closer.

    Sorry, it had to be said.

  22. Okay, I’m going to have to say something about this. Hitler deserves worse than HK, if possible. Just wanted to say that.

  23. ahh… my favorite hk of all… the hitler version.

    i think it’s just freaking adorable that something that was meant to be so damn cute and cheery has been transformed into one of the most recognized symbols of fear and hate. god bless whoever did that lmao xD

  24. hk is totally the reincarnation of hitler. no doubt.

    hkh is probably one of the more warped things in our society but hey, im not complaining! these messages are freakin’ AWESOME in a CAN!

    AsphyxiaChoke: YESSS!!! al the WAY! lolrrh


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