Hello Kitty Face Mask

I don’t get colds. I refuse. I take extra precautions to the point of obsession. This has absolutely nothing to do with fear of germs or being compulsive about cleanliness, but every thing to do with the torture and humiliation I have to endure if I do ever catch a cold.

Thus is was with great regret that I actually caught my first cold in years this past week which basically is the worst thing that can happen in the world if you live in Hello Kitty Hell. It’s not the stuffy nose, sore throat or headache that is bad — those are merely minor symptoms compared to the pain and embarrassment of having to roam around with a Hello Kitty face mask:

Hello Kitty face mask

In Japan, you wear these when you have a cold so that you don’t give your cold to other people. I have absolutely no problem with this concept except when Hello Kitty is plastered on the front of the face mask. It is just so wrong in so many ways when a 6 foot 3 inch foreigner wanders the streets of Japan with a Hello Kitty face mask on and it isn’t only me that sees it this way. You can see the sheer terror in the eyes of the Japanese when they see me, undoubtedly believing that I’m going to hack them to pieces at any moment because that is the type of crazy foreigner that would actually wear a Hello Kitty face mask.

My wife, of course, thinks that it’s the cutest thing ever to the point where she wants to walk around town together with matching Hello Kitty face masks on. She says that it is good practice for when the bird flu arrives and I may have to spend months wearing these Hello Kitty face masks. Somehow dying from the bird flu doesn’t sound all that bad when looking at the alternative of living…

This means that for the next week I have the choice of being cooped up in our house with no escape from the Hello Kitty Hellishness that is somehow still referred to as our house (although it really looks more like the worst pink nightmare that you could ever imagine) or I must venture out to endure the extreme humiliation that would be considered cruel and unusual torture if forced upon any enemy combatants during a time of war. Alas, this is a common dilemma when you live in Hello Kitty Hell…

44 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Face Mask”

  1. OH GOD. 0___0
    It’d be cool though that as you continuely wear the facemask the kitty face gets sicker and sicker and eventually dies. >.>
    I really wish this concept was the mainstream in North America, because especially on trains and in schools people come with colds and it’s so BLOODY GROSS.
    -_- thank goodness I wear a hijab, people don’t look at me funny if I sometimes cover my face with it….

  2. You show a total lack of appreciation for your wife. She is worried about you and takes the time to give you a mask so that you can stay healthy and all your can do is complain about it. It shows you’re worst kind of man around.

    Hello Kitty promotes healthy lifestyles and this is one way that she does it. Your insecurity in your manhood show loud and clear again when you are embarrassed by something like this. A real man would not be embarrassed because he would know who he is.

    Stop whining and so some appreciation for once in your life. You complain about Hello Kitty fans whining, but the biggest whiner here is you. Grow up and appreciate how lucky you are. There are so many people that would love to be surrounded by so much Hello Kitty love.

  3. Mr. HKH: Dude, is there a way we can block the evil Darlene from the site….she’s a waste of blog space!
    Anyway, I do not believe in forcing men to wear feminine things, now if they want to that’s a whole other story!
    Anyway, dude, I feel for you!
    (I still think Darlene might be your wife in secret…)

  4. There is also an armband, which you may have already wrote about, that is used as a means of humiliation for disgraced Policemen.. I think it was Taiwan…
    Anyway, this reminds me of this…cruel and unusual punishment!

  5. I think Darlene is an embittered ex-wife of someone, otherwise why would she go and attack some guy that is just viewing his wife’s business with a bemused irritation or irritated bemusement?

    I wouldn’t put this on my husband if I was married. I sort of think pink and boy’s don’t mix. I’m sure Carson would castigate me.

  6. “I think Darlene is an embittered ex-wife of someone, otherwise why would she go and attack some guy that is just viewing his wife’s business with a bemused irritation or irritated bemusement?”

    Very interesting notion. Her husband probably broke up with her, for always bitching about not loving her enough because she’s such an “appreciative” wife, and for ALWAYS forcing Hello Kitty down his throat. NOW she just takes her anger and misery out on our beloved HKH.

  7. Mhkitty, there IS a way to block Darlene, but I don’t think HKH cares enough to do it. If your familiar with computers, you’ll know that everywhere you go, your unique IP address is logged on most sites that you go on. I’m pretty sure that word press logs you IP on your comments, so I’m pretty sure wordpress has a feature that blocks IP addresses.

  8. oh god.


    that thing is horrifying.

    but still, not AS bad as some of the other stuff you’ve talked about..

    as well, you have the satisfaction of dumping it into the garbage!!

    -or does your wife insist on recycling, washing+preserving these hellish things?

    good luck.

    darlene, go stick your head in a toilet.
    hating hello kitty isnt a crime.

    if refusing to put on a mask with hello kitty plastered in the front is a sign of “not being a real man”,
    i sincerely hope you can find a real man soon.
    its so obvious that he loves his wife [and his bed] too much to rant about this stuff at home. so why not let him have the freedom on HIS blog, to say whatever he wants, without criticizing him?

  9. zainab: AMEN. It would be so great if they cared enough about spreading germs… sigh… unfortunately some ppl won’t even wash their damn hands after using the potty… so gross.

    I still can’t believe how insane darlene is… woof!

    HKH: Why not start your own fake obsession with another Sanrio character like Chococat or someone that has colors you can tolerate so you can be too busy loving your fave for her to force hers on you! Better yet: the new one, the divorced dolphin, form an unhealthy overboard obsession like you envy him. ;D

  10. There is something somehow scary about that mask!!

    >at the other point<
    IP blocking only works when the blockee has a fixed IP address (and those are less common than you might think).

  11. Get well soon,

    In the meantime you could flip the mask inside out so that kitty is at least hidden with the added bonus that it’s the front reciever of all the moist and germs that land on a face mask…die kitty…DIE!

  12. As someone who likes Hello Kitty, it’s not Hello Kitty being on the face mask that disturbs me. Instead, it’s that the face mask in the picture somehow looks like underwear to my eyes! ;(

  13. to Jesse: Yeah that’s a funny one, but I’ve noticed that people like that project their own faults onto people and then they fly into an impotent rage when they get ridiculed or ignored for it.

    I mean perhaps to common sense we should all ignore darlene, but I have to admit that I enjoy poking fun at her dumb @$$. It’s sort of a caricature which personifies all crazy women with little doggies that view them like their own children, much like that inane piece of pet jewelry a few posts earlier.

    Also, I don’t think the author cares enough about her anyways to even block her. It’s a source of amusement for all of us. Hell, I can own up to that.

  14. I’ll second Batz Maru.. I think he’d drive your wife pretty crazy, but give her a taste of her own meds eh?
    As for the mask, Yeah.. it looks like childrens underwear cut in half..
    actually, I think I saw underwear for girls that look just like that

  15. I have a lot of sympathy for your plight, but you’re kinda bringing it on yourself, Mr. HKH. I mean, if it bugs you so much, tell her NO. That cartoon diagram of Hello Kitty you posted ages back proves even SHE has a backbone. 😉 Buy a non-Kitty sleeping bag and use it if she tries to banish you. Or just refuse to be banished. I mean, really. If she wants to be utterly kittified, that’s her business and it’s great that you don’t try to get in her way, but it’s bizarre that you won’t put your foot down when it comes to your own stuff.

    But given that you’ve clearly decided it’s easier just to do what she says… take the teenage girl route. Wear what Mom (or in your case wife) wants you to when you leave the house, then change into what you’re actually willing to be seen in (like a non-Kitty face mask). 😉

    Or vomit or have a nosebleed on the kittymask. I can’t imagine she’d approve of risking HK like that!

  16. I think this is what disgraced policmen from Thailand have to wear when they are caught being cheating with the law, corrupt, etc.

  17. Why don’t you just buy one of the masks without any nonsense on it (like HK) and wear it when your wife is not around? After all, you don’t work in the same place do you? And you don’t spend every single minute of the day together do you?

    If she forces you to wear something stupid HK related stuff on you, and she can’t be there to “guard” you throughout the day, just get regular clothes and masks that don’t have HK on them and wear them when she can’t see. I assume none of these retar… oh sorry fanatics know your real identity and they can not act as your wife’s trusty little minions and give you away if you don’t wear the silly things..

  18. Richard B, I hate to say it but you may be mistaken.

    Most people who come online are given dynamic IP addresses (via a process called DHCP). That allows internet service providers to have more customers than they have IP addresses. Businesses use this quite often as well.

    So, unless Darlene is coming from a fixed-IP addres, which is highly unlikely these days, Mr. HKH has little recourse without blocking a large number of people from this site.

    Sorry. I wish it were as easy as you thought it would be.



    I accept paypal, lol…


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