Hello Kitty Wedding Planner

Why, oh why, do people keep sending me emails like this?

dear sir, i need your help regarding information on a hello kitty wedding at first going to hello kitty world and getting married by hello kitty was kinda a joke between me and my finance, but as time has progressed we have decided that it would actually be something fun and special for both of us. I have been trying to find out how to get information from sanrio puroland about weddings but i haven’t found anything. Also, i was wondering how much just the wedding cost to have at the theme park (not including the reception, the wedding dress the tux, the rings ect), and if there are special scheduling that has to be done. can the wedding be in Japanese or is it in English? can you get married by a special character (like request it?, besides hello kitty…)we both love the monkey and the penguin ^^ and it would be awesome to get married by them. I’m sure there are so many questions that i haven’t thought to ask you so if you could just start with those, or give me advice about what i should do to find this information i would greatly appreciate it. thank you so much for your help and your time — ali e

Seriously, is there anything on this site that would indicate that I have the desire to be a Hello Kitty wedding planner? Is there anything that jumps out and says, “wow, this guy wants to spend all his free time in Hello Kitty Hell helping others do the exact things that he complains about in every post”?

But since I feel in such a generous mood today, here is my advice. Don’t get married — for both your and the world’s sake. In fact, stop dating and never see one another again. You can tell him that it is an order for the HKH guy. The last thing either of you need is someone that would encourage your hideous addiction. Anyone that believes a Hello Kitty wedding would be “fun and special” is not mature enough to get married (there really should be a law regarding this). As for the world, there is nothing that it needs less than another Hello Kitty wedding.

Believe me, you’ll thank me years from now for this sound and generous advice…

50 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Wedding Planner”

  1. Couldn’t you just pass on the e-mail to your wife and get her to charge them something for the advice? I mean you make money off the ads, so why not make money off the suckers who need HK advice?

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  2. I know if I wanted a Hello Kitty theme wedding, a web site called Hello Kitty *HELL* is probably not the first place I’d go to for more info…just sayin’…

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  3. Here’s an idea, why don’t you just TAKE YOUR EMAIL off the site and use another one. Not only would you benefit from this, you would also enjoy hearing your readers whine to themselves realizing that they can’t tell you about the newest HK crap. Sure they would probably then take their discoveries to the comments area, but you could just delete the comments. That way you win and never have to put up with people over the interwebz making your life worse!

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  4. I can’t hardly wait to see what darlene will say about this.
    It is hard for me to understand why people are sending such request to HKH guy. But Sanrio would be very happy to have such special customer coming to Japan and get married. I guess people are willing to do a crazy thing to make their wedding one of a kind.

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  5. Richard, here’s my take on your suggestion.

    My favourite posts on this site are the fan art (includes tattoos and cosplay shots), and without some sort of email contact, how would Mr HKH even get those?

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  6. I’m with Alex on this one… send them a number of a psychotherapist. One that will, preferrably, prescribe them drugs which will render then sterile.

    It still amazes me that people write in with requests like this… but at least it keeps HKH going!

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  7. This email sounds like it’s from some girl (not guy) tryingto get info in order to convince her poor fiance that it would be a good idea to get married at Puroland or something. There are some things that just shouldn’t be done. Can you imagine how tacky a wedding like this would be? It’s not like a Disney wedding where you can decide to make it elegant and not have any Disney characters there, you know. But then again, I guess that would defeat the purpose…

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  8. Am I the only one who cringed at the poor grammar and lack capitalization & punctuation?

    I think this a joke… ‘ali e’ sounds a lot like ‘Ali G’ to me…

    Anyway if this person was for real, I would definitely send them a whole phone book page full of Therapists!
    Mr. HKH, I TOTALLY agree with you about people wanting an HK wedding not being old enough to wed… either physically OR mentally!

    @Sanriobaby: I’m puzzled, why on God’s Green Earth would someone want to go to DisneyLand/World/Etc for their wedding… and pay a lot of money (cuz they ain’t cheap) only to NOT have the Disney characters in it???? That is a total other kind of insanity!
    (Sorry, nothing on you but that’s just friggin crazy!)

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  9. P.S.
    Seriously, I’m sure Puroland has a website and contact info…
    It’s really NOT hard to look that crap up, and ask someone who cares!

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  10. @kitteh!: Exactly, he WOULDNT have to look at those tatoos. I never said the readers woud benelfit from it. You guys have obviously forgotten that HKH DOESN’T WANT TO SEE THIS STUFF.

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  11. HAVE A NORMAL WEDDING!!! and then if you still really want to have HK somehow be in it… spend your honeymoon in a sanrio shop… no don’t buy anything… go without your wallets… just sit there and stare XD

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  12. this sounds very much like something mr. hkh’s wife herself would write. “my fiance and i both think” yea i’m not so sure haha

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  13. You are just plain rude and obnoxious! You get an email from someone looking forward to the most anticipated and wonderful day of her life asking you politely for your help and you can be is mean. How dare you tell someone to leave the person that they love! I don’t understand how your wife can put up with you.

    I hope you are proud of yourself for trying to ruin a woman’s dream. It shows what a sexist and immature person you really are. You are the only person that thinks you are funny. This is one more reason for everyone to leave this blog.

    Unlike you, the partner she picked actually supports her love of Hello Kitty. Maybe you should learn a thing or two from him and stop complaining about everything.

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  14. Darlene, for the millionth time, YOU ARE AN IDIOT! I’d recommend several rounds of electroshock therapy for you and the person who was dumb enough to send that e-mail to HKH.

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  15. “It shows what a sexist and immature person you really are.”

    how does that show he’s sexist and immature???
    If a guy OR girl sent him an email like that, he still would’ve replied the same way…

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  16. “This is one more reason for everyone to leave this blog.”

    Then how come YOU haven’t? There’s a back button on your browser for a reason, you know.

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  17. They send you these things because they love you…!
    Speaking of love — gotta love that dimwit Darlene! >^..^<

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  18. See but emails like THIS give HKH something to post about when there are no new pictures. You have all missed the point.

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  19. Wow this guy definitely beats every Hello Kitty fan out there for putting up with Hello kitty with his fiance… I will pray for you. jk.

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  20. ‘You get an email from someone looking forward to the most anticipated and wonderful day of her life asking you politely for your help and you can be is mean.’

    I think you’ll find, the grammatically correct way of saying that is ‘all you can be is mean.’

    At the end of the day, your suggestion of ‘everyone should leave’ has a few flaws. One being I fricking love, LOVE this blog, so all else fails, there’ll still be one person reading. Secondly, your plan fails because although you say we (and I assume yourself) should leave, yet everytime you say that, you eventually come back like a bad smell. You don’t like what’s said, LEAVE and LEAVE PROPERLY. Don’t crawl back in a pathetic bid to seek attention, which I assume all your trolling is for, pure attention seeking. You’re not a child, start acting your age.

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  21. Rach & Puppy, make that 3 people… (well, I suspect at least 5 or 6, but I’lll leave the others to speak for themselves).

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  22. I’m sure we can pretty much agree that most of us aren’t going anywhere – Hello Kitty is the AntiChrist and the great schadenfreude that keeps us coming back. 🙂

    As deluded and obtuse as Darlene may be, I’ve gotta admit that I’d miss her if she was gone. Her outrage is SO freakin funny…real or not, it adds flavor.

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  23. To Darlene….
    they are not marrying HK you dumbass. it is a Stuffed Toy.. Don’t you get it?????

    Sheeze…!!!!!!

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  24. lol as soon as i mentioned getting married by hello kitty to my boyfriend he threatened to kill himself lol. damn….i wanted hello kitty to marry us

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  25. Does darlene Really have nothing better to do in her life.. than come on here.. read all the stories… and then bitch about them?

    wow.. that goes above and beyond pathetic.. as far as the hello kitty wedding..

    *gags and turns green just a bit*

    there is nothing cute about hello Kitty.. she is evil.. and everywhere.. and I have done my damndest to keep my sweet little angel of a daughter away from it.. done pretty good to this point.. but apparently there are alot of people out there who have decided than getting my kid Hello Kitty clothes is a good idea..

    *twitches*

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  26. I’ve seen the video. It’s more like a build-a-bear thing, were you really have to be happy to be there to not be thoroughly embarrassed.

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  27. UGH! A Hello Kitty Theme Wedding would be my dream come true…. but the idea of going to japan and getting marry over there its just way too much… i mean im also a big fan of hello kitty but i would not go that far…. oh and for you hello kitty hell guy… why did you marry your wife knowing she was a big fan of Hello Kitty? I guess you must really love her…? but either way i have to admit that i enjoy reading all your blogs…even though sometimes they are kind of mean 🙂

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  28. Hello Kitty is not a crap..as only a genius can make it big out of a cute cat figure..think abt it all u suckers

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  29. I have stayed silent on this blog, but i cannot take it anymore. Darlene, will you please stop acting like an idiot? You are disgracing both females everywhere as well as Hello Kitty fans. Personally i think a Hello Kitty wedding would rock, but i am not going to go to HELLO KITTY HELL to ask about it. This man does not like hello kitty, obviously. He has every right to declare so and mock the obsession. This is no different from people that make fun of RPG gamers, live action role players, nerds, sports jocks, or anything else. He is simply expressing his feelings on the obsession. I am sure YOU, since you are such an opinionated person, have said a thing or two about an event or activity that doesnt make since to you as well.

    There is no reason for you to act the way you do. All it does is make fans of Hello Kitty, such as myself, want to smack you for turning this into a war. Hello Kitty wants love and understanding, embrace that and shut the hell up.

    Oh and I personally, as a Hello Kitty fan, would still read this blog even if he told us all where to cram that hello kitty ‘massager’. His wit and hate of the cat is what makes me want to read it. I find it refreshing.

    Keep writing mr. hkh!

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