KISS Toilet Paper

I swear the people at Sanrio aren’t even trying anymore. They are sitting in their office cubicles and seem to be actively trying to figure out something so ridiculously stupid that not even Hello Kitty fanatics will buy it. Of course, they are failing miserably at this mission.

Seriously, this really shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s already been well established that Hello Kitty will do whatever it takes to make a buck even if that means combining two previously terrible ideas together to form something that undoubtedly signals the coming of the end of the world. I have already had my run-ins with the wife concerning Hello Kitty toilet paper. Then the was the partnership between the evil feline and KISS which only confirmed that Sanrio has a special knack for making others sell-out in the biggest way possible. Any normal person would have stopped in complete embarrassment at that point, but that’s not how things work in Hello Kitty Hell. Instead, the people at Sanrio came up with the “brilliant” idea to combine these two failures to produce Hello Kitty KISS toilet paper:

hello kitty kiss toilet paper

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Hello Kitty Toilet Paper Storage Cabinet

One would assume that once you have Hello Kitty toilet paper, and a Hello Kitty electronic toilet paper dispenser, you have pretty much covered all the toilet paper Hello Kittification that you can, but remembering that this is Hello Kitty Hell, there is always something else to place the evil feline on. Thus the bright minds at Sanrio decided that there should be a Hello Kitty toilet paper storage cabinet:

Hello Kitty toilet paper cabinet

Hello Kitty toilet paper holder

Hello Kitty toilet container

That’s right. Hello Kitty demands that toilet paper be stored in it’s own, specially designed Hello Kitty themed toilet paper cabinet. It really doesn’t matter that toilet paper cabinets don’t exist or that there really isn’t a reason anyone would need one, but inventing useless items with Hello Kitty on them has never been an issue in the past, so I suppose it makes no sense that they would stop doing so now.

What I do find amusing is that Hello Kitty toilet paper wasn’t used in the photo. Knowing my wife, I imagine that Sanrio wanted to use it, but when they went to try, none of the fanatics that had purchased it were willing to actually unwrap the rolls and ruin their collection (refer to my own experience on this). There must have been a lot of screaming and yelling as to why each person’s precious toilet paper collection couldn’t be sacrificed for the photo. It probably made a hockey fight look like two lovers holding hands strolling down a flower lined lane in comparison, After a lot of blood and guts, they simply decided that plain white toilet paper had to do.

Of course, my wife thinks it would be a great addition to our interior (despite the fact that there is absolutely no place in our bathroom where something like this would fit, but again, small facts like that have never stopped purchases in the past). I know that Hello Kitty Hell is getting bad when I look at this and say to myself that on the scale of things, a completely useless object that will only get in the way and cost far too much isn’t nearly as bad as it could be…