Month: September 2007

Okay, if you are walking down the store aisle and looking for a multi vitamin, would you pick Hello Kitty brand?

Whenever I see these, I just have to shake my head in wonderment why anyone would purchase them (except for my wife, of course, but that should be quite obvious by now) Maybe it’s the fact that 99% of Hello Kitty food is 100% sugar which should lead anyone with common sense (we already know that Hello Kitty fanatics are disqualified here) to conclude that even the vitamins are bad for you.

Of course, my wife loves these because “Hello Kitty brings you lots of energy and healthiness from the inside to go along with the love and happiness she brings when you see her.” The only satisfaction I get is when I chew the hell out of them before swallowing which is the only type of satisfaction one can really get when living in Hello Kitty Hell. Still, it gives me great pause having Hello Kitty working her way through my blood stream to give me the sugar fix vitamins I supposedly need.

It’s bad enough that I have to see her covering every inch of the house, but listening to my wife my wife tell me how much Hello Kitty is helping to sustain my life as she watches me take the vitamins (I think she secretly knows I would spit them out when not looking if she didn’t) with a Hello Kitty Hell grin of satisfaction on her face. Yet another sad example of the Hello Kitty Hell I live in…

Thanks to numerous readers for the chewable variety and Lucy x for the gummy variety – you should all have to take these every day for reminding my wife to continue to order these on a consistent basis…

I’m sure there is some underlining reason why Sanrio labels it’s tests as “psycho” in their URLs (hint to Hello Kitty fanatics, it’s a not so subtle message to you). Whatever the reason, Hello Kitty couldn’t stop at just one psycho test, so here is another:

Hello Kitty Speculative Fiction Psychology Test

My theory is Hello Kitty psycho psychology tests all tell you that you are depressed so that you have a reason to buy Hello Kitty to make you happy. At least Hello Kitty thinks I’m depressed (note: spelling and grammar are Hello kitty’s, not mine) :

You often look down on yourself.

You feel bad about your personality. In another word, you only see your shortcomings and ignore or your advantages. If you must expose your inner self in front of others, you find that very hard to do, and you would hate yourself. But actually, if you look from another angel, your shortcomings could be your advantages instead. For example, you think you get mad easily, but actually that’s because you are very sincere and you don’t hesitate to show your emotions. If you think you are weak, others probably think you are very gentle and understanding. You must look at your personality from another positive angle and be nice to yourself.

Of course, my wife sees this as yet more proof that my life is depressing because I don’t accept Hello Kitty as my savior. I blame it on having to listen to the Hello Kitty theme song 24 hours a day over her new Hello Kitty speakers. Either way, it confirms that I’m living in Hello Kitty Hell…