Hello Kitty Vitamins

Okay, if you are walking down the store aisle and looking for a multi vitamin, would you pick Hello Kitty brand?

Hello Kitty vitamins

Hello Kitty gummy vitamins

Whenever I see these, I just have to shake my head in wonderment why anyone would purchase them (except for my wife, of course, but that should be quite obvious by now) Maybe it’s the fact that 99% of Hello Kitty food is 100% sugar which should lead anyone with common sense (we already know that Hello Kitty fanatics are disqualified here) to conclude that even the vitamins are bad for you.

Of course, my wife loves these because “Hello Kitty brings you lots of energy and healthiness from the inside to go along with the love and happiness she brings when you see her.” The only satisfaction I get is when I chew the hell out of them before swallowing which is the only type of satisfaction one can really get when living in Hello Kitty Hell. Still, it gives me great pause having Hello Kitty working her way through my blood stream to give me the sugar fix vitamins I supposedly need.

It’s bad enough that I have to see her covering every inch of the house, but listening to my wife my wife tell me how much Hello Kitty is helping to sustain my life as she watches me take the vitamins (I think she secretly knows I would spit them out when not looking if she didn’t) with a Hello Kitty Hell grin of satisfaction on her face. Yet another sad example of the Hello Kitty Hell I live in…

Thanks to numerous readers for the chewable variety and Lucy x for the gummy variety – you should all have to take these every day for reminding my wife to continue to order these on a consistent basis…

Hello Kitty Psycho Test 2

I’m sure there is some underlining reason why Sanrio labels it’s tests as “psycho” in their URLs (hint to Hello Kitty fanatics, it’s a not so subtle message to you). Whatever the reason, Hello Kitty couldn’t stop at just one psycho test, so here is another:


HK Test

Hello Kitty Speculative Fiction Psychology Test

My theory is Hello Kitty psycho psychology tests all tell you that you are depressed so that you have a reason to buy Hello Kitty to make you happy. At least Hello Kitty thinks I’m depressed (note: spelling and grammar are Hello kitty’s, not mine) :

You often look down on yourself.

You feel bad about your personality. In another word, you only see your shortcomings and ignore or your advantages. If you must expose your inner self in front of others, you find that very hard to do, and you would hate yourself. But actually, if you look from another angel, your shortcomings could be your advantages instead. For example, you think you get mad easily, but actually that’s because you are very sincere and you don’t hesitate to show your emotions. If you think you are weak, others probably think you are very gentle and understanding. You must look at your personality from another positive angle and be nice to yourself.

Of course, my wife sees this as yet more proof that my life is depressing because I don’t accept Hello Kitty as my savior. I blame it on having to listen to the Hello Kitty theme song 24 hours a day over her new Hello Kitty speakers. Either way, it confirms that I’m living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Compact Computer / iPod Speakers

Because Hello Kitty has never seen a gadget that she doesn’t love to Hello Kittify, this arrived at our house today in the mail – the Hello Kitty compact speakers:

Hello Kitty compact speakers

Hello Kitty compact speaker

Of course my wife already has Hello Kitty speakers, but these speakers can be used for all the devices she has. It has a USB cord for the computer and also can be hooked into CD and MP3 players including her Hello Kitty iPod.

It took all of 2 seconds before she had to try it out on all the gadgets it would work with (my Hello Kitty Hell question of the day is that if Hello Kitty can have so many damn electronic gadgets, why does she have only one totally annoying theme song that gets played on all of them?) which once again confirmed that it doesn’t matter what speakers one uses, the Hello Kitty theme song will always be irritating enough to make anyone listening consider committing suicide.

Another typical day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Checks

Even though we live in Japan where checks are not accepted, my wife had to have these (surprise, surprise).

Hello Kitty checks

Hello Kitty checks

Hello Kitty checks

Hello Kitty checks

Hello Kitty checks

Even worse, when we move back to the US, I will likely be forced to use these patterns (mental note to self: don’t ask wife to order checks for me). I can already imagine how manly I’m going to look going up to the store check-out register and whipping out my Hello Kitty checks…a toss up between that and using the Hello Kitty credit card

Thanks to CH Hair Fan who really should be forced to use these checks for the rest of her life for bringing them to my wife’s attention

Hello Kitty Tiara

My wife has decided that we need to go on random Hello Kitty excursions around Japan these next couple of weeks which means I’m going to have limited time to actually comment about the Hello Kitty Hell I’m suffering through. Instead of leaving the blog blank during this time, I have decided to go through the 250+ emails that have sent me photos of random Hello Kitty Hell products (believe me, there are far more than you want to know and this goes to show that Hello Kitty fanatics spend too much time sending me email rather than doing something productive like living life) and will be placing them up, but without the usual commentary. Please feel free to place your own commentary as you see fit and hopefully I will not have slashed my wrists from some awful Hello Kitty Hell experience before I get the chance to write some more.

So to get things started, the Hello Kitty Tiara worn by Jeffree Star (yes, that is a guy)

Hello Kitty tiara

Sent in by Faye (via Jeffree Star) who should have to not only wear the tiara, but color her hair Hello Kitty pink as well for thinking it would be a good idea to send this to me…