Hello Kitty Car Exhaust Pipe

It had to happen (I was just praying that it happened after I had already died). My wife finally found and purchased a Hello Kitty exhaust pipe for our car in her attempt to Hello Kittify all our transportation:

Hello Kitty car exhaust pipe

Hello Kitty exhaust pipe

Way too many people have sent me in this photo

Hello Kitty exhaust pipe

(don’t you all have better things to do than to try and make my life more Hello Kitty Hellish?) and for awhile I managed to convince my wife that it was another photoshop job, but as usual, she finally managed to track the real thing down. A typical day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Update: Unfortunately, it seems the evil feline has decided to expand this line:

Sent in by anonymous

Hello Kitty Jason

Somehow this seems like a Hello Kitty alter ego that is probably deep within her, although I still think she is scarier without the mask (although the fact that a Hello Kitty chainsaw really does exist is even scarier):

Hello Kitty Jason

Sent in by duncan (via artist Joseph)

Update: You knew there was no way that the Jason x Hello Kitty theme would ever end with just one item:

Hello Kitty Friday the 13th Jason mask

Sent in by Rob

Hello Kitty Flowers

My wife loves to get flowers, but a dozen roses won’t do. In fact, any bouquet of regular flowers, no matter how beautiful, just doesn’t make the grade. If I ever give her flowers, they have to be Hello Kitty flowers:

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flowers

When guests come over and she wants us to have flowers on the table, they have to be Hello Kitty. What’s crazy is that you can go into practically any flower shop in Japan and they will know how to make these bouquets – it’s downright depressing. There really should be some law that grown men aren’t allowed to buy bouquets of Hello Kitty flowers. There is nothing more embarrassing than walking down a crowded street with something like that in your hands, but it is yet another aspect of my Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by numerous readers…

As if these weren’t enough to make you sick, more photos sent in by reader Linda

Hello Kitty Dear Daniel flowers

Hello Kitty flower bouquet

Hello Kitty Hello Mimmy flowers

Hello Kitty carnations

Hello Kitty flowers

Hello Kitty flower bouquets

More photos sent in by tricia

Hello Kitty bouquet

Hello Kitty flower bouquet

Hello Kitty flower frame

Hello Kitty heart flower

Update: It keeps getting worse — not only are these available for purchase, there are now tutorials online on how to make Hello Kitty flowers (what the tutorial really should be named is “How to make sure to lose your significant other in the quickest way possible.”)

how to make a hello kitty flower

Sent in by HK Guy

Hello Kitty Dog Tattoo

There are a lot of things that are just plain wrong with Hello Kitty fanatics. Getting a Hello Kitty tattoo is one of them. Getting a Hello Kitty Star Wars tattoo is even worse. But when Hello Kitty fanatics start tattooing their dog with Hello Kitty, there has been a boundary that has been crossed. Can there be a bigger insult if you are a dog? Having to go around in life with a Hello Kitty tattoo because you owner thought it would be “cute.” That dog must have been teased mercilessly by the other dogs at the park…

Hello Kitty tattoo dog

Hello Kitty dog tattoo

Which leads me to my latest Hello Kitty fear. If a Hello Kitty fanatic would be willing to place a Hello Kitty tattoo on their dog, then obviously my wife would have no problem tattooing me with Hello Kitty. I think I’m going to have to be extra careful from now on when I go out drinking or I may end up with they same exact Hello Kitty Hell that dog must endure…

This was sent in by a number of readers including hellopink, Tim, Hayley and cuterthanu – may all of you have to wear a Hello Kitty tattoo yourself…

Hello Kitty Educational Video

Now that the Hello Kitty ceramic figure has been saved and is on its way to well protected safety, I thought that with my new found affection for Hello Kitty I should do something responsible for all those impressionable kids out there. I therefore spoke with my wife and convinced her to give me a couple of Hello Kitty plush to use as characters to make an educational video. Even better, Hello Kitty is dressed in a school uniform and Dear Daniel is in a graduation gown. The question became, what lesson should I teach to all the impressionable kids out there?

Hello Kitty school plush

I considered this awhile and thought it’s important for kids to understand that fireworks are dangerous. I could have Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel show the dangers of playing with fireworks. If in the process of showing how fireworks can be dangerous, Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel accidentally found themselves trapped in barrage of fireworks and ended up lighting up in amazingly colorful sparks, we would all know that this was a sad event, but they had taught everybody an important point.

Or if I was to teach kids about the dangers of playing near the water by a fast moving river and both Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel accidentally fell into the river and got swept through raging rapids and then over a high waterfall, we would all feel bad, but understand that they had done a great service in teaching us about safety near rivers.

Or if I had a wood chipper and wanted to teach how dangerous it is to be near one of these machines as the machine grinds branches into small chips and Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel accidentally get stuck in one of the branches and go through the chipping machine, we would all feel terrible, but know that they had taught us a very important lesson about the dangers of wood chipping machines.

After considering numerous ways I could teach kids about the dangers in the world with Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel (and smiling the entire time), I realized that I didn’t feel like sleeping on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the next month.

I have therefore decided to let the readers of this blog tell me how they would use Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel to teach kids about safety. Of course you should have a video camera to tape the lesson and any accidental events that may happen during it.

If you feel that you can do justice in teaching an important lesson to all the kids about safety using the Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel plush pictured here, please leave a comment on exactly what lesson you would teach and at the end of the week I will choose the best one to send these two plush to…

Hello Kitty Speakers

In the overall scheme of things, Hello Kitty speakers wouldn’t seem to be a top priority to highlight in Hello Kitty Hell, but it is these often mundane Hello Kitty gadgets that typify how terrible Hello Kitty Hell can be.

Hello Kitty speakers

See, when my wife gets something new like these, she has to show how happy she is by using the newest Hello Kitty gadget in her collection. That means listening to the Hello Kitty theme song 24/7 on a pair of lousy speakers that make Hello Kitty’s voice even higher pitched and annoying than regular (yeah, you don’t even want to think about it, trust me). For those of you who have decided that today would be a good day to be tortured, you can listen to this:

Imagine that, then add in the cheap speakers and the song playing 24/7 and you can see how a simple set of Hello Kitty speakers can just about make a grown man go crazy…and I still have at least another couple of days of this Hello Kitty Hell to endure…

Hello Kitty Klingon

One of the most annoying aspects of Hello Kitty (okay, that was a pretty lousy initial sentence since there really aren’t any aspects of Hello Kitty that aren’t annoying) is her inability to stay out of other fan based phenomenons. She has to be a part of anything and everything that has the least bit of pop culture popularity. It is the reason that you see stuff like a Hello Kitty Darth Vader or this little piece that should make any Star Trek fan want to vomit (hey, come on over to my place, I will soon have a Hello Kitty toilet which will be the perfect place for you to do so):

Hello Kitty Klingon

Star Trek Hello Kitty Klingon

Yes, that is a Star Trek Hello Kitty Klingon that showed up at a science fiction convention last year. Makes you want to take out your Star Trek phaser and nuke her, doesn’t it?

My wife has a simpler explanation. “All pop culture wants to embrace the sweetness of Hello Kitty. That is why you see her everywhere. She brings happiness wherever she goes.” Maybe I’ll be using that new toilet myself to get sick in…

Photos copyright by The General at GeneralGeneral.com, used with permission. Costume from the science fiction convention Convergence 2006. You can see more photos at his new site Klingon Hello Kitty.

Hello Kitty Toilet

You knew that it would be impossible for Hello Kitty to stop at Hello Kitty toilet paper and when the Hello Kitty bathtub made it’s presence known, I had that haunting Hello Kitty Hell feeling what was going to be coming next. Of course, my wife thinks we need the Hello Kitty toilet to compliment all the Hello Kitty crap that is already in our bathroom:

Hello Kitty toilet

As a guy, I’m not sure if there is anything more humiliating than going to the toilet, lifting the lid to take a piss and having Hello Kitty staring back at you the entire time. There is just something extremely wrong with that image and yet I see that image becoming a reality in the days to come. Sometimes the worst part of Hello Kitty Hell is already knowing what life is going to be like in the near future…

from yen in the comments…who should be forced to live with a Hello Kitty bathroom for the rest of her life…

Update: You knew that one Hello Kitty toilet would never be enough for Hello Kitty fanatics. Seen at 3 apples by Cindy:

Hello Kitty toilet

and more:

hello kitty toilets

Sent in by shilah