The worst part of having a Hello Kitty fanatic as a significant other is that they think that taking photos of you with Hello Kitty things is cute. If you are naive enough to indulge this urge of the Hello Kitty fanatic, you end up with photos like this of you holding a Hello Kitty bath mat and awkwardly smiling toward the camera:
Some random Hello Kitty emails that ended up in my mailbox…
Dear Mr. HKH,
I recently came across your blog on CakeWrecks. At first I was shaking my head, thinking what a poor dear you are, putting up with all the Hello Kitty crap your obviously brainwashed wife brings into your life. And then, as I read more and more of your blog, I got to thinking: What if I were to Hello Kitty Hell my boyfriend’s life? Bring in a little bit of disgusting cuteness into his apartment every once in awhile, particularly when he’s upset me for some reason or another. Mention Hello Kitty items I might buy at any given opportunity. Show him pictures of cute Hello Kitty things every day, even occasionally off of HelloKittyHell.
Today I bought my first Hello Kitty item…a matching bra and panty set…which has already been modeled. All day today I wandered around our city (Peterborough, Ontario, Canada) and made a list of the Hello Kitty crap currently available for purchase, and making note of where and when I found them.
Did you ever consider that maybe you just upset your wife one time too many, and that your private HelloKittyHell is just retribution? Because I definitely think it’s the best idea I’ve ever heard of in terms of getting even…
Best of luck in Hello Kitty Hell. My boyfriend will meet you there soon.
This strategy may seem brilliant on the surface, but it would mean you would have to turn into a Hello Kitty fanatic. While I certainly live in a Hello Kitty Hell, at least I’m aware of this fact unlike the fanatics that actually believe that Hello Kitty is great. If you can’t delude yourself, then you are creating the same Hello Kitty Hell for yourself as your boyfriend, which I suppose would be proper punishment for even trying to think up something like this…
Every day I think to myself, “At least my view of humanity is so low, it cannot get much lower.” Sadly, I usually am proven wrong by something in the news or in my everyday dealings with people. And sometimes I even wonder what’s the point of soldiering on in such a world. But then I look at your life and your blog and how you must battle the demon Hello Kitty, and I am inspired. If you can deal with that thing in your life day in and out (and love your wife so much that you put up with it), then I can deal with the failings of humanity I run across, which are generally less horrifying than Hello Kitty. For that, I thank you, good sir. Should our paths ever cross, I will buy you enough drinks that you may forget the feline for a brief while.
As long as there is no Hello Kitty alcohol involved in the process, I will certainly take you up on your offer…
God you poor guy. I am worried about my 6 year old nephew he loves hello kitty. Its a freakin cult his father is very against it but his mother thinks its cute and buys him everything HK. Back packs, stuffed toys, lunch boxes, ect. What if he growes up to be a serial killer or a Hello Kitty collector [AAHHHH}. – BACHMAYER
Let’s all hope for the less of the two evils and he only becomes a serial killer…
It seems that there are a few blog readers that felt their lives were so pathetic that it necessitated them to involve themselves in my life by way of my wife. They felt compelled to email my wife time and again until they had convinced her that this blog was much more than a way for me to innocently let off some steam about Hello Kitty. They insisted that this blog was degrading to the evil feline and to all Hello Kitty fanatics, especially my wife. My wife confronted me about this over the winter vacation and has demanded that I abandon this blog.
Of course, the Hello Kitty fanatics didn’t stop just there. They have convinced my wife that once I have abandoned the blog, that it should be reinvented as a Hello Kitty Heaven blog to even out the bad karma I have thrown Hello Kitty’s way these past couple of years.
Does anyone have any good suggestions on how we might resolve this current standoff that might keep me from spending all of 2009 on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag?