Hello Kitty Duct Tape

The problem with Hello Kitty is that no matter what your profession, the evil feline will eventually find a way to infiltrate the way you make your living and permanently scar your sanity in the process. I have no doubt that handymen thought they were safe from the terror of Hello Kitty — oh, how wrong they were. Handymen around the world have undoubtedly died a little inside (and likely have constant nightmares that this will show up in their work box) with the introduction of Hello Kitty duct tape:

Further proof that all is definitely not right in the world…

Sent in first by Tiffany

20 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Duct Tape”

  1. The first thing that comes to mind is:
    Your walking home from a long day at work just minding your own business when all of a sudden a large metal object come in contact with your head knocking you out. You have a searing headache causing the room to spin. Your vision is blurry the first time you open your eyes but after blinking a few times you distinguish two men standing on the other side of the room. You try to call out to them only to realize your lips have been Hello Kitty Duck Taped shut. Trying to pull the Hello Kitty Duck Tape off you notice your arms and legs are tied with Hello Kitty rope to a Hello Kitty Limited Edition Super Soft Cushion Chair. As you struggle against the ropes the two men notice you and start to walk towards the center of the room where you are. The sound of their footsteps becomes louder and louder. When you finally look up to get a good look at your kidnappers you are horrified to see their faces hidden behind smiling Hello Kitty masks. Both muscular men wearing Hello Kitty Maid outfits, only thing differentiating them being the Hello Kitty Chainsaw one is holding. You start to sweat profusely. Your mind is blank. Everything starts to move in slow motion as the sound of the chainsaw reaches your ears. You against the ropes to no avail, you wiggle left and right trying to do anything to get away from what you know is about to happen next. As the blade of the chainsaw closes in on you leg all you can do is stare wide-eyed and push back against the chair with all your might trying to create a distance between your flesh and the hard stainless steel. The moment the blade touches your skin you scream at the top of your lungs only to awake on a Hello Kitty bus full of happy children. You sigh with relief that it was all a dream. Now calm you look around the bus to see a bunch of children jumping up and down with smiles on their faces. Confused you look to the front of the bus to see what the next bus stop is, only to remain horrified as you read “Sanrio Land” You run as fast as you can to the driver to tell him to stop but you lose your voice as the driver turns to you, takes off his Hello Kitty mask and laughs maliciously with an intent to kill sketched on his face.
    The End!!!

    I’m sorry about that…It was the first ting that came to mind. I know I’m not great at writing but I just hope I managed to get the idea across. Back to Duck Tape…I don’t really see the point…

  2. That loud gasping sound you just heard was my exultant intact of rapturous breath.

    I must own many, many rolls.

    My universe is a better place for knowing Hello Kitty duck tape exists.

    This is happy, happy, happy.

  3. Lisey, DOES WANTZ!! I can’t help thinking that the base colours for the armour and gun should be Pepto-Bismol and magenta though.

  4. Ashlyn, as per my comment at #6 para 2 perhaps?

    Possibly in conjunction with the HK handcuffs and the HK flogger? (both previously featured)

  5. Thumbs up to Arnie for giving me another crack-nightmare XD
    I imagine they made it for those that like to make duct-tape wallets, as that’s all I would ever consider using something so almost permanent for.

  6. @edjusted

    It’s duck tape brand duck tape. “Duct tape” for heating ducts is a false etymology. You can’t use duck tape to tape ducts. It’s illegal under even archaic building codes and has never been done in the past by professionals. If you did try it the glue wouldn’t last for more than a month or two. The moisture would make it useless and the heat would make it flake away into a white powder. It’s called duck tape because the vinyl top layer repels water, compared to earlier fabric tapes which absorbed it. It’s been called duck tape for well over a hundred years. “Duct tape” is a modern invention caused by people unwilling to look up the proper pronunction of a word and turning the homophone(duct) into the “proper” word.


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