Hello Kitty Halloween Costume

Halloween is not celebrated in Japan, but now my wife wants to dress up in a costume because of this photo sent in:

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

While my instincts are to go into yet another rant, maybe it will suffice to say that this is by far the scariest costume that anyone could come up with for Halloween. I have no doubt that little children screamed in terror as she walked down the street (because that is undoubtedly what I would have been doing if I had encountered it live). Maybe Hello Kitty and Halloween fit together a lot more than I have been been giving credit in the past. Either way, I have the distinct feeling that Halloween at Hello Kitty Hell is going to be downright scary now…

Sent in by Penny who should have to wear that thing year round for even thinking that sending me the photo and putting the idea into my wife’s head that a Hello Kitty Halloween costume would be a good idea…

Pumpkin Carving

It really does not help my Hello Kitty Hell when people actually take suggestions of my wife such as learning how to carve a Hello Kitty o’ lantern:

Hello Kitty pumpkin

via Movies of Myself (with the hope that it does mold and collapse into a zombie Kitty and we get to see a photo of that)

Hello Kitty pumpkin cat

Sent in by Marla (It seems to me that Kitty isn’t happy being associated with Hello Kitty)

Hello Kitty pumpkin

Hello Kitty pumpkin back

Sent in by someone who asked not to have their name revealed (someone with at least a bit of common sense, although he did make a Hello Kitty pumpkin so we may not be able to give him too much credit) from last year.

All these readers (and anyone else that decides to join them) should have to keep the Hello Kitty pumpkins for the entire year and watch as they decompose into the true character of the evil feline…

Update: I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that after writing this, more Hello Kitty fanatics would send me photos of their Hello Kitty ‘o lanterns as well:

Hello Kitty pumpkin

From Jennifer…

Hello Kitty pumpkin

From Sandra…

Hello Kitty carved pumpkin

From natalie…

Hello Kitty carved pumpkin

From natalie…

Hello Kitty pumpkin

From Nicole…

Hello Kitty Christmas Lights Candy Rocks

One of the things that I have noticed about Hello Kitty is that she takes Holiday specific items and tries to make them generic thus allowing the Hello Kitty fanatic to use the evil feline all year round instead of at only a specific time of the year. It is with this in mind that Sanrio has renamed their Hello Kitty Christmas lights as “Hello Kitty Candy Rocks”

Hello Kitty Christmas Lights

Hello Kitty candy rocks

Hello Kitty Xmas Lights

Hello Kitty light angel

It’s bad enough that they are selling Christmas lights well before Halloween, but even worse that the “candy rocks” theme gives my wife the excuse to use them all year round:

wife: “Look what I bought”

me: “What?” (already knowing that it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight)

wife: “Hello Kitty candy rocks.”

me: “They’re Hello Kitty Christmas lights…” (stating the obvious)

wife: “No, these are candy rocks. They can be used to decorate all different areas of the house. Won’t things look so much better with lights to help brighten the place at night?”

me: “They are Christmas lights. They are meant to be put outside after Thanksgiving.” (hoping that I could avoid them as much as possible)

wife: “Sanrio says they are candy rocks.” (exasperated that I wasn’t getting it)

me: “Who do you believe more, me or Sanrio?” (I knew it was a dumb question as soon as it came out of my mouth…)

So now that she has established that I have no idea what I’m talking about, my wife is trying to decide where’s the best place in the house to display the candy rocks and wondering if she will need more so they can be displayed in each room…just another typical day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Halloween Pumpkin

One of the worst aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that all holidays are completely ruined. It is impossible to enjoy any holiday because it gets Hello Kittified. And just to make sure that everyone not only buys Hello Kitty goods on that particular holiday, Sanrio provides directions on how you can Hello Kittify it yourself with such things as how to make a Hello Kitty pumpkin (note that a pumpkin with Hello Kitty on the front is not a “jack ‘o lantern,” but a “Kitty-o-lantern!”):

Hello Kitty Halloween Pumpkin

My wife took one look at this and sent me to the store to get not one, but several pumpkins in different sizes so she could practice making the perfect Hello Kitty ‘o lanterns. Mind you, Halloween is not celebrated in Japan so this has absolutely no meaning out here (yeah, I know that none of it has any meaning, but this just seems to have less meaning than most – decorating for a holiday that isn’t celebrated)

So now we have 4 Hello Kitty pumpkins sitting on the front step of our house and I can’t even kick the damn things in and blame it on the teenage boys down the street…

Sent in by Tyra who should be forced to eat pumpkin, and only pumpkin, for the rest of her life for thinking that it would be a good idea sharing this with my wife…

Hello Kitty Easter Eggs

One of the many troubles with living in Hello Kitty Hell is that every holiday is an excuse to get more Hello Kitty. It makes no difference that Hello Kitty has absolutely no connection with the event — she will find a way to be there. Take, for example, these Hello Kitty Easter Eggs:

Hello Kitty Easter Eggs
from reader shoho

How in Hello Kitty Hell did Hello Kitty weasel her way into this holiday? There is absolutely no connection, but there she is like she owns the holiday.

Hello Kitty Easter Eggs
Sakurako Kitsa [flickr]

Hello Kitty Easter Eggs
OneLuckyBiatch [flickr]

Hello Kitty Easter Eggs
buzzbo [flickr]

There is just something totally depressing knowing that I will wake up on Sunday to find pink colored eggs covered with Hello Kitty all over the house. Not to mention too many assortments of Hello Kitty candy. I’m already feeling sick and the day hasn’t even arrived…

Oh, how I long for the good old days when the only concern at Easter was whether the chocolate bunny was hollow or solid…

Reader shoho, who sent the original photo (to get my wife really excited about a Hello Kitty Easter), should really have to eat nothing but Hello Kitty Easter candy for the next week…

Sent in by Monica

Hello Kitty Snowman (mail delivered)

I’m coming to the conclusion very quickly that Hello Kitty has an answer for everything in Hello Kitty Hell. Awhile back I wrote about Hello Kitty snowmen and how I would likely have to build one this winter with my wife. While you can’t say many things good about global warming, keeping temperatures in Japan warm enough this winter that we haven’t had any snow on the ground where I live (and thus no opportunity to build a Hello Kitty snowman) is one positive that everyone fails to mention in the discussions on the issue. In fact, I was giving myself better than average odds that I might escape 2007 Hello Kitty snowmanless…that was until…

Hello Kitty Snowman delivered by mail

What you are looking at above is a mail order Hello Kitty snowman…I kid you not, words fail me on this one. For a bit over $40 (4,800 yen) my wife has informed me that we can have a Hello Kitty snowman packed from snow in Hokkaido (Japan’s northern island) shipped to our front door via a refrigerated mail service truck (so it doesn’t melt along the way) and display it for all to see. The picture on the left is the actual Hello Kitty snowman once taken out of the Hello Kitty container ( shown on the right).

This, my friends, is Hello Kitty Hell at it’s finest. Not even global warming can stop her…

Hello Kitty Snowman

Reader marls did the kindness of adding to my Hello Kitty Hell by sending me this photo of a Hello Kitty snowman:

Hello Kitty snowman

You know that things are going to get bad when my wife sees a photo like that and says, “We need to go out and make our own Hello Kitty snowman!” While I don’t mind playing in the snow, building a sculpture to the enemy in my life is not one of the more pleasing ways I consider to pass an afternoon. Unfortunately, there are more than a few who believe snow shrines to Hello Kitty are a good thing…

Businesses like Hello Kitty snowman because of all the Hello Kitty fanatics there are out there. I’m sure as soon as my wife sees this photo, she’ll insist we go to this hotel and spend a weekend.

Hello Kitty snowman

I have to make sure that if I do get forced into building a Hello Kitty snowman, it isn’t small like this. The temptation to punt it across the yard would be too great and I would end up on the couch for the rest of the winter…

Hello Kitty snowman

I certainly hope that the caption on this one meant Wednesday night and not wedding night..had we not been married in Hawaii, that is certainly something that my wife would have considered doing…

Hello Kitty snowman

Obviously Hello Kitty fanatics have way too much time on their hands to be building all these snowmen. It only seems fitting in Hello Kitty Hell that I’ll probably have to add to the list when the next snow falls out here…

Update: More reasons wintered should be feared:

hello kitty snowman

Hello Kitty Mask

I actually write this post with some relief (if it is possible to write anything about Hello Kitty with relief). Eve sent some photos over about a Hello Kitty Halloween mask:

Hello Kitty mask

Hello Kitty mask

Hello Kitty mask

Why the relief? I spent the entire Halloween season dreading that my wife would find a Hello Kitty costume and insist on wearing it. In Japan, Halloween isn’t celebrated and the whole costume concept is still a bit new so I tipped-toed around making sure that the Hello Kitty Halloween costume didn’t get mentioned. Luckily, Eve was kind enough not to pass these along until after Halloween was over.

As with all things in Hello Kitty Hell, however, the relief comes with a big asterisk by its side. Now that my wife has seen “that utterly adorable costume” I think that Halloween next year is going to be one for the record books. It may be even worse than that — wife: “wouldn’t it be really cute if I wore that around the house?”

I’m praying that was just a passing thought and not a real question…