Pets – Page 3 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Pet Jewelry

February 26, 2008 by onezero

In Hello Kitty’s never ending quest to dream up new ways to sell anything with the evil feline on it, the people at Sanrio have once again outdone themselves. If expensive Hello Kitty jewelry for yourself isn’t enough, you can now share it with your dog (No, I’m not kidding…and all for the low price of $175 (118,900 yen)

Jewelry that you share with your pet?!? Common sense would dictate that there is absolutely no way that something like this would ever sell, but alas, anyone that has been following this blog for even a short period of time knows well that common sense is the oil to Hello Kitty’s water. As I sat staring at the email in disbelief, it didn’t take long to see where this was going — you know that as bad as this is, it is simply the bridge being built to launch a complete line of Hello Kitty pet (exclusive) jewelry in the near future.

Hoping against hope that my wife would somehow see this as ridiculous, I actually showed it to her (yeah, beat me over the head for my stupidity). Now one would expect that the Hello Kitty fanatic would reply, “Oh, this is the cutest thing ever!” which my wife dutifully did, but her next response goes to show how far Sanrio has brainwashed the fanatics. She continued, “We need to get a dog” as if this was the most normal way to respond when having found jewelry that she wants to buy. Just one more episode to show that things can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by oj who deserves an especially drastic form of torture for thinking for one moment that sending this to me would be a good idea and for the trauma I will have to endure for the next month explaining to my wife that “no, we do not need a dog to go with that jewelry…”

Hello Kitty Dog Blanket

February 5, 2008 by onezero

There are few things worse than being the significant other of a Hello Kitty fanatic, but one possible exception may be being the pet of a Hello Kitty fanatic. This is especially true if you happen to be a canine. While it would seem that nothing could be more humiliating for a dog than to be forced to wear a Hello Kitty head or being tattooed with Hello Kitty, being dressed up in a Hello Kitty blanket certainly is up there in the running:

Obviously, most people look at this and think “wtf are you doing to that poor thing!?!” If, however, you show this to your significant other and instead get the reaction, “ahhhhhh, that is the cutest thing ever! That person must love their dog so much” then you must realize that you have nothing to look forward to in life but a constant barrage of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by greta (via Elevated who should have to wear that blanket around for the rest of her life for believing that these photos are “soooo cute” and that sending me these photos would be a good idea in any way, shape or form…

The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head

January 2, 2008 by onezero

As has been well established, Hello Kitty by herself is frightening, but Hello Kitty fanatics rarely are able to leave this frightfulness alone. They have to test the limits. They do this by projecting that their love of Hello Kitty must also be shared by their pets. So they decide that placing a Hello Kitty face on their cats and dogs would be a good idea.

Now, one would assume that it could never get worse than this (mainly because it’s so nightmarishly frightening that nobody in their right mind would want to even try to take it further), but of course, it can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell. That is because once Hello Kitty fanatics have their cat and the Hello Kitty hood, they then think “Wow, wouldn’t it be great to create something with Hello Kitty like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” The result? They make a group called “The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head” (although I wish I was, I kid you not…)

Of course, my wife thinks this is the greatest idea since Hello Kitty toast and wants to join. “Wouldn’t our cats just look adorable in that and then we could share their photos with everyone all over the world” (an informal poll of our cats say that they are siding with me that it would definitely not be “adorable” and have even indicated they will be willing to sleep with me on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag if worst comes to worst).

According to the group leader of “The Cathood of the Travelling Hello Kitty Head” is off to England and Australia — which begs the question – is there any doubt that it will one day make its way to Japan? And while this entire concept is nightmarishly frightening (the cats and I are still arguing whether it it more nightmarish for me or them), we all know that in Hello Kitty Hell this will somehow find a way to get worse…

Sent in by Valerie (via Hello Kitty Fan Club Catster Group – where there are many more photos for those who have the stomach — scroll to bottom) who should have to wear these Hello Kitty heads herself for the rest of her life to get a feeling of how these cats must feel for even considering that sending me the link was a good idea…

Dog

July 27, 2007 by onezero

It doesn’t take long for Hello Kitty fanatics to take a bad idea of the Hello Kitty cat and make it even worse. When it comes to Hello Kittifying, no pet is safe, even if you’re a dog:

Living in Hello Kitty Hell, I know the humiliation that this dog must feel. While it may be physically less painful than the Hello Kitty dog tattoo, mentally this dog is a goner (of course, my wife has a different take: “Awwww, that is so cute!! The owner must love that dog so much!). The real question is where will this Hello Kittification of pets end, and my guess is that if Sanrio – and Hello Kitty fanatics – have their way, it’s not going to be a pretty sight to any non Hello Kitty fanatic in the end…

Thanks to Kristin (via RavenNW) who should be forced to walk down the street wearing this Hello Kitty costume for even thinking of bringing this to my attention.

Update: More unfortunate creatures that must have done something unthinkably terrible in their previous life to end up being a pet of a Hello Kitty fanatic:

Sent in by lauraschue via The Pink Paw

Sent in by Gina

Kitty Cat (more)

July 26, 2007 by onezero

We all hoped, prayed and basically got down on our knees and begged that the Hello Kitty cat was an aberration – a Hello Kitty marketing attempt that was woefully wrong that nobody would ever purchase. It wasn’t possible that there were actually Hello Kitty fanatics out there (beyond my wife) that would be willing to humiliate their cats, right? Oh, how wrong non Hello Kitty fanatics can be…

Thanks to jean (via Gizmodo Japan) who should be forced to wear these outfits along with the cats for sending this to me…

Update: Apparently there are more cats planning their owner’s death out there:

Sent in by Fei

Hello Kitty Cat

July 11, 2007 by onezero

I feel sorry for all cats that are owned by Hello Kitty fanatics because it’s things like this which they have to look forward to in their life:

Yes, it’s a “turn your cat into Hello Kitty” kit and runs about $150. If cats have nightmares, this is exactly what they are made of. My wife was giggling like a little school girl when she found it and all I could do was look at our cats and think, “well, enjoy life now because you don’t know what’s coming to devestate it in a few days…”

It’s not often that I think that Hello Kitty Hell could be worse, but at least my wife is not dressing me up in outfits like that (yet…….)

Thanks to kaori who should have to wear an outfit like this for bringing it to the attention of my wife…

Hello Kitty Doghouse

July 7, 2007 by onezero

No, we don’t have a dog, but that doesn’t matter in the least bit for my wife who wants this $30,000 Hello Kitty Doghouse:

While it may be better than tattooing a dog with Hello Kitty, it’s not better by much. You have to feel sorry for any dog that must live in a Hello Kitty dog house…hmmm, not much different from me being in the dog house in a Hello Kitty sleeping back on the couch, although my sleeping area isn’t the price of a fancy car…the irony of Hello Kitty Hell.

Hello Kitty Dog Tattoo

June 16, 2007 by onezero

There are a lot of things that are just plain wrong with Hello Kitty fanatics. Getting a Hello Kitty tattoo is one of them. Getting a Hello Kitty Star Wars tattoo is even worse. But when Hello Kitty fanatics start tattooing their dog with Hello Kitty, there has been a boundary that has been crossed. Can there be a bigger insult if you are a dog? Having to go around in life with a Hello Kitty tattoo because you owner thought it would be “cute.” That dog must have been teased mercilessly by the other dogs at the park…

Which leads me to my latest Hello Kitty fear. If a Hello Kitty fanatic would be willing to place a Hello Kitty tattoo on their dog, then obviously my wife would have no problem tattooing me with Hello Kitty. I think I’m going to have to be extra careful from now on when I go out drinking or I may end up with they same exact Hello Kitty Hell that dog must endure…

This was sent in by a number of readers including hellopink, Tim, Hayley and cuterthanu – may all of you have to wear a Hello Kitty tattoo yourself…