Hello Kitty 18k Gold Phone Strap

It’s really not like my wife needs to pimp out her cell phone in Hello Kitty anymore than it already is, but then that simple piece of logic never makes any sense to a Hello Kitty fanatic. Thus she has her eyes on a $462 (50,000 yen) 18k gold (1.8 grams) Hello Kitty phone strap which she says will make the perfect accessory:

Hello Kitty 18k gold phone strap

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Hello Kitty Gold Pocket Calendar

Well, you can’t say that Sanrio doesn’t beat themes to death when they know that Hello kitty fanatics will line up to buy the most useless things. With Hello Kitty fanatics already purchasing the Hello Kitty gold business card, the Hello Kitty gold personal business card and even a set of Hello Kitty gold playing cards, how is a Hello Kitty fanatic to resist the Hello Kitty gold pocket calendar?

Hello Kitty gold calendar

Hello Kitty gold pocket calendar

Hello Kitty gold wallet calendar

The pocket calendar card is covered with 0.6 grams of 99.99% gold – who else but Hello Kitty would charge $57 (6,300 yen) for you to find out the date? Of course, you probably already know why this scares the hell out of me. With Sanrio’s current quest to cover everything you put into your purse with 99.99% gold, it shouldn’t be long before they apply this to the Hello Kitty condom and make a special set of them as well – and that really would be Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Gold Business Card Personalized

You knew that Sanrio wouldn’t stop at one – it’s not in their character to fail to beat something to complete death when there are Hello Kitty fanatics ready to pay out big dollars for useless crap. To help celebrate the 33rd anniversary of Hello Kitty (like they really need an excuse to launch this stuff – they might as well declare everyday Hello kitty day and use that as an excuse), they have revived the pure gold business card, but now will personalize it with your name and address for the small sum of $110 (12,600 Yen)

Hello Kitty gold business card

To make matters worse, they have decided to release two different patterns of the card and then give fanatics the choice of English or Japanese lettering for their name making 4 different options for the Hello kitty fanatic to choose from. Since we have already established that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t make choices, but get one of everything, the result is over $400 for 4 gold business cards.

For the vast majority of us, we take one look at this business card and know it is completely useless. We think that Sanrio has finally lost their marbles and there is no way that this could possibly be a success (then again, that is exactly what we thought about the Hello Kitty business card). Of course, this common sense has no effect on the Hello Kitty fanatic. “It makes a perfect matching pair with the Hello Kitty business card. My business card right next to Hello Kitty’s business card. It shows how close we are to each other.”

You know that you are living in Hello Kitty Hell when your wife can explain with a straight face the reasons that getting a $110 gold Hello Kitty business card makes perfect sense…