Hello Kitty Tuxedo

It is amazing that week after week, when I somehow imagine that the worst of Hello Kitty has already found its way into our house and that things can not get worse (I know, I should know by now that it can always get worse, but all I have is hope…), it gets worse…much, much worse. There isn’t much that sends shivers down my spine these days, but this pretty much brings to the forefront the worst of my Hello Kitty Hell nightmares – a Hello Kitty tuxedo:

Hello Kitty tuxedo

Hello Kitty tux

Hello Kitty tux

Yes, that is a Hello Kitty bow in the front. Yes, the bow tie is a Hello Kitty bow. Yes, that is Hello Kitty’s face blended into the back of the jacket. Yes, I did run to the bathroom and relieve my stomach of its contents upon seeing this…

Since my wife wasn’t a Hello Kitty fanatic when we got married, the one thing that she feels she has been denied is a Hello Kitty wedding which pretty much wraps all my Hello Kitty fears together into one terrifying event.

My wife now has the Hello Kitty wedding at the forefront of her mind since seeing this and is insisting that this is what I must wear. I think it’s time to begin looking for that Hello Kitty seppuku set (you know one exists out there somewhere and if anyone deserves it, it most certainly is me) so I can put myself out of my misery in a much less painful way than having to actually endure something like this.

Sent in (via think silly) by 15 different readers (many who seemed to derive way too much joy out of the prediction that I might one day have to wear something like this — you all really have way too much time on your hands) who should all have to join me in the Hello Kitty seppuku ritual for ensuring I will have to listen about Hello Kitty weddings for the next month and thinking that anything positive could ever come from sending something like this to me…

62 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Tuxedo”

  1. I got nothing on topic.

    Off topic, I was watching a motoring programme last night, where they raced the New Nissan R35-GTR against public transport across Japan West to East. Outside “metro Tokyo” and the railway stations, Japan is just such a freeking beautiful country though!

  2. The only nightmare here is your writing and exaggerations. If you think that you need to seppuku yourself because of a tux, you have no respect for life. And how dare you say there is a Hello Kitty seppuku! You try to make Hello Kitty sound bad, but you just make yourself look like an idiot because everyone knows how you never tell the truth.

    Everyone knows that men don’t know how to dress themselves and you making comments about this just proves you have no idea what you’re talking about. This is a great piece of formal wear that any man should be proud to wear for his wife and your refusal just goes to show your lack of confidence in your masculinity.

  3. At least it isn’t pink, the color of evil and oppression of women. (HK and Barbie are my proof.)

    The bow is probably only a few threads away from “Accidentally” disappearing, but I’m afraid there isn’t much to be done about the face on the back. On the other hand, you won’t have to look at it unless there are mirrors around.

  4. Darlene, You’re so sexist now!

    “Everyone knows men can’t dress themselves.”

    That was low. Not all men are so idiotic. Hello Kitty went from cute to psychotic the minute I saw a hello kitty douche and gun.

    And Hello kitty had ALREADY done bad stuff. You are low darlene. Do you even read the comments you get? No. Because your have a stick up your arse the size of a pineapple.

    No one wants to hear you complaining. We know your entitled to your opinion but you are so rediculous it’s not funny. Your taking advantage of your chance to actually disrespect our opinion.


  5. I don’t know I think the “face” is made out of patches of which could be ripped off with a seam severer or whatever that official hook thing you use to break seams.

    It looks kind of like some of the “emowear” I’ve seen. It’s just kind of dorky at the very worst. To be honest, it’s not as bad as some of the stuff I’ve seen on this site, and well, if you’re forced to wear it, it’s not that bad and not obviously pink.

    I guess scope of crappy evil girl stuff, with 10 being the most emasculating in context of what we’ve seen, this is probably about a 3 or a 4, quite barely a 5.

  6. THANK YOU, HK people… I explained to my husband how misunderstood I was, by all of you and he immediately whisked me away to Neiman Marcus and bought me the most sparkly HK ring I have ever seen (and a great pair of jeans and 2 pairs of Loubitan’s)….again THANKS!!!!! πŸ™‚

  7. MHK…If you can’t get out of the whole HK wedding thing, try to ask for just some HK accessories. I think the tux is a little tacky. It would be better if you were in say a fabulous Armani Tux with a little HK boutonniere. Tell her less is more…..

  8. I could handle the bow in front but the back 0.0! eek. Please some dignity.

    As for a Hello Kitty Wedding I can go along with it but she will need to make some compromises, one we attend t Athocon, Rainfurrest and Further Confusion and the groom will be in Fursuit.

    (* while it would be a blast to fursut the event, the hope is to dissuade her and just have a traditional church wedding)

  9. I do not think seppuku is a good ides but if you insist, then you will be force to use a Hello Kitty tant?, keeling on a Hello Kitty mat. so the last thing you see on earth is the Kitty you despise.
    I beg you to reconsider.

  10. Aw cheer up. At least with this suit, one would have to look very hard to see the Hello Kitty design on the back. Believe me it could’ve been MUCH worse (patting your shoulder in consolation).

  11. I have to agree with andophiroxia about it not being the worst but to me, it’s up there. Marriage, if you believe in it, is sacred. It seems a downright shame that people have to add in something like this jacket to make it even more “special.”

    You have my sympathies if you have to wear this HKH… my deepest sympathies

  12. @Catherine (aka: Darlene2)
    If you’re going to try and play the misunderstood card and brag about whatever crap you got bought, at least spell the designers name correctly.

    Christian Louboutin

  13. @ moriyah

    Well, if he wants the HK on it to be even more pronounced, there is one thing he could do. πŸ˜‰

    Now what would that be, you ask me?

    I suggest lining the HK features up with napalm or some otherwise sticky, flammable stuff and set those areas on fire. That way HK is more noticeable and it fufills his wishes.

    But, in the end it destroys all HK. XD Even after the HK burn pattern is evident in the jacket, his wife won’t want it around anymore. Heh, heh, heh.

  14. All I have to say is three things:
    1) At least it’s not pink
    2) If I EVER see a man wearing it I will rip off the bow and shove it down his throat for being a Pussy!
    3) This is something darlene would make a man wear is she was ever able to find one dumb enough to marry her!!!

  15. Everyone knows that men don’t know how to dress themselves and you making comments about this just proves you have no idea what you’re talking about. @ Well, that is rather unkind, Darlene..what would Alfred say or please consider Dear Daniel’s feelings in the matter. I do believe on this issue you are mistaken gravely. That tux looks like it should be on Hello Kitty server in the theme parks. As for direct HK contrast, well, Naoto and Novala Takemoto are wonderful designers of Goth Lolita, and both carry lines of Sanrio. Novala also wrote Kamikaze Girls which ended up as a film and sadly he lost his license after a marijuana bust. Please reconsider your words!Achtung!

  16. Okay…men can’t dress themselves…

    I’m almost done with my fashion degree and even straight, disinterested men have better taste then this. There is a line wheree fashion becomes a joke, and the tux is timeless and classic (and thus hard to make) and this makes a mockery out of that.

    MHK..I am not gonna go on the themed wedding bit. You’re SOL, my friend, seeing as I’ve managed to talk my boyfriend into a wedding in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator.

  17. @ Moriyah “got bought” nice English! hahahaha….
    and, FYI it’s only bragging if you can’t afford it. Nice job Googling “Christian” πŸ™‚

  18. “Everyone knows that men don’t know how to dress themselves”

    I need to set the record straight, here.
    Darlene, if you’re honest you should say “A lot of woman think that man don’t know how to dress themselves”.

    For example, this tux is absolutely horrible!
    No one in his or her right mind can wear that.

  19. I personally think it is kind of cute. But, just think, you only have to wear it once in your whole life and only for a few hours. Just make her happy. You do have to live with her for the rest of your life.

  20. Yes Tricia, but that is exactly why it is selfish to make someone wear something they really do not want to wear.

  21. Catherine, it’s bragging if you have to tell the world regardless if you can’t afford it. And thank you for noticing my English, I’ve been practicing.

    I really can’t stop myself…

  22. drop the bit with the shoes Catherine, you are just being annoying.

    I don’t get why some women want to have multiple wedding ceremonies but I know that it makes any of the ones that follow the first one look like crap regardless of what you do.

    Do the most logical thing and say that you guys can’t get “remarried” until you both have had a divorce first.

  23. @Sierradragon

    You know, if you get married too many times, it tends to be ridiculous after a while. I get renewing vows, but you don’t need to be as serious as the initial ceremony beforehand. Hell, I plan to renew my vows in Vegas, the ceremony that mom and dad DIDN’T approve of! πŸ˜‰

    Well maybe he could make up some divorce papers of HK stuff. πŸ˜‰ Will his wife pick fanaticsm or vows? What will indeed happen!? πŸ˜›

  24. I’m agreeing with Acton. You’d be forced to use HK tatami mats, a HK tanto, katana and sheathes with HK and pink ribbons on them in a room with a beautiful westerly view of the sun setting through a HK shaped window. Not honourable at all… XP quite throw-up-able actually -_-

    And then, think of your funeral…

  25. How Cheap!

    no seriously this looks like a crappy outfit one could hire at a halloween costume rental place. That just can’t be any serious function material, and certainly not a wedding. If the bride insisst on a HK tux I’m all for the groom picking up her wedding dress!

  26. You’ll probably not wanna know about the bridal dress, lol. JK, there isn’t one… is there?


    O.o GAH! So shameless!

  27. darlene…. darling… SHUT THE HELLO KITTY HELL UP!!! Methinks u have got some kind of HK broom up ur derriere!!!! Chill out… Put some HK shaped ice cubes in a glass of sthg & caaaallllmmmm down…. u r REALLY scary…. Personally I think we should all be afraid of phsycho people like darlene walking amongst us rather than innocent no mouth HK!!! At least HK doesn’t answer back UNLIKE ‘i’m having convulsions’ darlene!!!!!

  28. Hooray Sierradragon!!! Thank u 4 finally getting that insecure little princess Catherine 2 stop going on about a pair of shoes…. So what??? People that own beautiful things dont need to brag about it- ESPECIALLY over cyber space!!!! Get a life!!! Dont u have any friends that u can brag 2 about the shoes??? Or have they totd u 2 shut up 2…. As I said- those who have dont blab… Thank u Sierradragon…

  29. This one absolutely takes the cake! As a Kitty Fan, I would never EVER make my boyfriend wear this. Ever. No one, but no one would wear this. No one.

  30. Halloween. Only on Halloween. Scarier than Freddy, Jason, Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, 1000 mummies, the Wicked Witch of the West and the Wolfman all put together.

  31. That tux should be a sin. Btw, why is it every blog I read, feminist,Darlene is there entertaining us with her sexist comments and creepy idealism of HK?

  32. Darlene is so sexist. His exaggerations are funny. Hello Kitty is a toy and no one really cares that he makes fun of it. Except for Darlene.

  33. Your problem is, if they actually made a seppuku set, it’ll be plastic. Plastic doesn’t cut well so, just like a spoon, it’ll hurt more. I’d just go for a real blade so you don’t have to go through so much pain. Although I’m sure your wife will happily take pictures before she realizes what you’re doing….


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