It had to happen. It was bad enough that my wife thought I should be wearing the Hello Kitty low rise underwear, but you can imagine my shock when they arrived at our door in three additional patterns as well:
Hello Kitty Hair Salon
While all things Hello Kitty defy logic, some of them defy logic more than others. A prime example of the latter is the Hello Kitty hair salon:
Hello Kitty Paris Hilton Dress
I know that it’s going to be an extra awful and down right hideous Hello Kitty Hellish day when a photo of Hello Kitty and Paris Hilton combined makes its way into my email box:
Hello Kitty Machine Gun
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
Because there has never been a gun that Hello Kitty could keep her face off, here is yet another Hello Kitty machine gun:
Hello Kitty Brick
The problem with Hello Kitty Hell is that even something that is already far more horrendous than most people can imagine without wanting to physically hurt themselves can be made infinitely worse by additions that the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to make. Take, for example, the Hello Kitty house. Most people would take one look at that and pull out a Hello Kitty gun to quickly end their misery. The Hello Kitty fanatic, on the other hand, decides what the Hello Kitty house really needs is to be built out of Hello Kitty bricks:
Hello Kitty Darth Vader (not photoshopped)
Update: Only in the deepest depths of Hello Kitty Hell could someone imagine it would be a good idea to make Darth Vader wear a pink skirt. and then actually make it into a costume. For some unfathomable and unfortunate reason Let the Wookie Win decided to show me these depths:
Seriously, one would think that people would tend to shy away from a terrible idea once it had been done (and graphically shown what a horrendous idea it really was), but then one could never accuse a Hello Kitty fanatic of thinking (sent in by Ryan)…
Original Post
Many people are aware of the Hello Kitty Darth Vader that was photoshopped, but what many aren’t aware of is that someone who saw that photoshop thought (for some reason that nobody that is sane will quite understand) it would actually be a good idea to create a real life Hello Kitty Darth Vader costume and shows up at various events:
Baby Doll Dress
One of the more unfortunate aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no end to the number and variety of Hello Kitty clothes that are out there. The result of this when the Hello Kitty fanatic shops is not pretty — both in style and to the pocket book. Take, for example, the “Baby the Stars Shine Bright Ribbon Ribbon Hello Kitty dress” (yes, that’s really its name):
Hello Kitty Netbook
I should have learned by now that it’s never a good idea to make a random comment about something I want since I live in Hello Kitty Hell. I have been doing more traveling lately which has had me thinking that I really need to buy a netbook so I don’t have to haul around my clunky laptop where ever I go. I mentioned this to my wife who took it upon herself to research and inform me of the Hello Kitty netbooks out there that would be perfect for me and which she wants to buy for me as a gift:
Hello Kitty Demonstration March
There are a huge number of truly scary things that I come across living in Hello Kitty Hell, but a mob of men in lighted pink tutus marching down the street holding giant Hello Kitty heads certainly ranks near the top:
(video addition via Mari in the comments)
Hello Kitty Samurai Warrior
Anyone that lives in Hello Kitty Hell knows that Hello Kitty is more than happy to place her image on virtually anything. So it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that the evil feline would also like everyone to believe that she has been around forever (or at the very least, hundreds of years) because that is the only explanation for the Hello Kitty samurai warrior:
