Hello Kitty Music CD Hello World

It’s never a good sign when I receive emails from numerous readers about something Hello Kitty, but it’s even worse when the publicity department backing the evil feline also feels that sending me a press release is a positive thing to do. Thus was the case of the new Hello Kitty music CD that has been released with cringe inducing song samples to make you feel like you want to vomit for the rest of the day (warning – don’t listen. You’ll never be the same…):

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Hello Kitty Fanatic Song

I found this in my email box today – an original Hello Kitty fanatic song by Anna Joy. The song pretty much sums up what it’s like living with a Hello Kitty fanatic…

You can listen to the song at The Ugly Trannies Myspace Page (click the “Hello Kitty” on the player – warning: words NSFW)

You will probably have to read the lyrics to be able to understand it all, so here they are:

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty s***
I cannot close my closet door, my drawers just overflow with it
And I will not take it back
I need it more than crack
If I can’t have that pillowcase then I will have a heart attack

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty crap
I go to the Sanrio store and I know full well it’s a trap
‘Cuz it’s just so f****** cute
It’s just so f****** cute
I think that I have pooped my pants
I thought that it was just a toot

Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)
Panties bras and guitars, socks and shoes and t-shirts
(I want it all!)
Sanrio will make sure every last dollar hurts
(I want it all!)

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty junk
It put it all in my backseat because I cannot close my trunk
‘Cuz it’s never enough
No it’s never enough
I’ll tattoo it on my labia
I have to have all of this stuff

Razors tazers lasers lite-brites dildos statues
(I want it all!)
Guns and ammo, crack and smokes and s***** tattoos
(I want it all!)
Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)

I couldn’t quit me all that Hello Kitty crap
So when I sleep outside the kitty store, I sleep in Hello Kitty wrap
‘Cuz I blew all my loot
My landlord gave me the boot
…but don’t you think this garbage can is hella f****** cute??

Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)
Panties bras and guitars, socks and shoes and t-shirts
(I want it all!)
Sanrio will make sure every last dollar hurts
(I want it all!)

It’s never good to start a new week with a Hello Kitty fanatic song, but at least it’s not the original Hello Kitty theme song…(warning, listen at your own risk – I’m telling you right now that you don’t want to click on it…)

I told you…

Hello Kitty Ukulele

It has been well established that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t need to have any use for a Hello Kitty product to still lust after it and decide that they need to add it to their collection. My wife doesn’t play any musical instrument, but that has not stopped her from collecting a small symphony of music related items.

The other day I was digging through our closet looking for my baseball glove (which fortunately, is not something that they currently make in a Hello Kitty pattern at Sanrio, but I have no doubt they are already planning to release a line) when I came across a Hello Kitty ukulele:

Hello Kitty ukulele

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Hello Kitty WinAmp Skin

You know it’s going to be a Hello Kitty Hellish week when something like this happens. I should know by now. Never, ever let a Hello Kitty fanatic borrow your computer. It will always result in something horrendous. After letting my wife use my computer over the last couple of days while hers was getting repaired, I went to listen to music this morning and this popped up on my computer – A Hello Kitty WinAmp skin

Hello Kitty WinAmp skin

Even worse, the Hello Kitty theme song had been downloaded onto my computer. Unfortunately, this is nothing unusual when living in Hello Kitty Hell…