Hello Hellish Kitty

On a very rare occasion, I come across something Hello Kitty that I actually like. On these days I have to stop, pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming, then put on just enough of a smile that my wife can’t discern whether I’m smiling or critically analyzing the evil feline in question. When these acceptable Hello Kitties come along, they almost are always something that reveals the true Hello Kitty:

Hello Hellish Kitty

wife: “Are you smiling?!?”

me: “No, I’m critically analyzing it…” (beaming with pleasure inside)

wife: “Why would someone do something like that?”

me: “hmmmmm…” (trying to keep the laughs from bursting out)

wife: “Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth. She could never take a bite like that!”

me: “hmmmmm…” (wondering if Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth, why do I have to always listen to her sing her theme song…but letting it quickly pass to concentrate on the joy of the drawing more)

wife: “This is really disgusting and wrong!” (beginning to get angry)

me: “hmmmmm…” (enjoying the drawing even more as time passes)

wife: “Aren’t you offended by this?!”

me: “hmmmmmmm…” (thinking: “not in the least bit”)

wife: “Are you sure you aren’t smiling?!?”

me: “No, I’m critically analyzing it…”

It’s nice to see that there are others that can see the true Hello Kitty for what she really is. I actually think I felt a chill in Hello Kitty Hell…

Left by Alyssa in the comments – who I owe a beer if we ever meet for actually showing me something Hello Kitty that I could enjoy…

162 thoughts on “Hello Hellish Kitty”

  1. I vowed to stop commenting because my comments were the only reason your blog was getting more popular, but this can’t go unanswered. How dare you laugh when your wife is shocked at something like this. That is just pure meanness that anyone could do something like that. You should be ashamed of yourself for not sympathizing with her shocked feelings. What type of husband are you?.

    And the person who made this drawing doesn’t know what is in Hello Kitty’s heart. It’s blasphemy to draw something like that because Hello Kitty would never hurt a living soul. Someone has a sick mind to imagine something like this.

  2. Dear Darlene:

    I would consider this drawing a joke, something to me laughed at and never would consider it a blasphemy!

    Definition of blasphemy: blasphemous language (expressing disrespect for God or for something sacred).

    I’m sure that Hello kitty is sacred to you or even next to Godliness but to the rest of the world Hello Kitty is not a deity of any kind. Please respect eveyone else and do not call it a blasphemy… call it something more suitable as an offense, insult, affront or ridiculous.

    Thank you.

    To everyone else: What does it mean nom? ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. darlene threatens again and again to never visit this site, but she just can’t resist… the fanatic’s heart is weeeeeeak XD

  4. nom nom nom (Is like eating .. sound effects)


    Omg Kitty is more adorable when shes eating a arm <333

    Awww I wish that was one of the designs for Hello kitty <333

  5. hahahahahahaha! you are so delusional darlene! while your comments my add the the funniness that is hello kitty hell, you are definately not the reason for the popularity.

    crazy people are funny. ??????????????

  6. “And the person who made this drawing doesnโ€™t know what is in Hello Kittyโ€™s heart. Itโ€™s blasphemy to draw something like that because Hello Kitty would never hurt a living soul. Someone has a sick mind to imagine something like this.”

    I love it when she gets angry……..

  7. Darlene:

    You wrote:
    >I vowed to stop commenting because my comments were the only reason your blog was getting more popular



    Sweetheart, the center of the universe is NOT you. Time to grow up.

  8. One piece of art is missing there….it’s extremely well done as is, but I’d be tempted to add a bunch of cash in the hand of the arm, or better yet, a checkbook.


  9. Honestly, Darlene. You need to seriously need to get a life. I, for one, like the picture and find nothing offense about it. But then, this is what I want to see happen to Hello Kitty.

  10. Darlene dahhling,
    i come to show my support to a poor man trapped in hell…..and get some laugh here…
    your comments only makes it funnier…
    i will continue visiting this site with, or without you.

  11. Indeed, yay to HKH for NOT cracking up and saying how this reveals what is truly in HK’s tum! ๐Ÿ˜‰ BUT doesn’t Mrs HKH read the blog sometimes?

    Blasphemous?! Oh dear oh dear.

  12. I was checking the web site while I’m traveling. I couldn’t stop chuckling when I saw this. This is a smash hit!

  13. ”wife: โ€œAre you sure you arenโ€™t smiling?!?โ€

    me: โ€œNo, Iโ€™m critically analyzing itโ€ฆโ€ ”

    loool. I love reading your blog :’D

  14. Kitteh!! – Unfortunately for Mr. HKH…yes.

    I would humbly suggest to many to click on my name here; I make cat macros in my spare time. NOTE: Don’t open while significant other is behind you. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. Good grief, I’ve done it now! Not perfect; wasn’t able to find a neat-enough catapult. Click on my name for the image of the Hello Kittypult. XD I’ll hold on to the original images in case a better idea for redesigning it comes up.

  16. Darlene – if you find this blog soo upseting why do you read it? Seriously there’s got to be something else you can do than complain about what’s said here. There’s no need to get all defensive this is all in good fun.

  17. Darlene – if you find this blog soo upseting why do you read it? Seriously there’s got to be something else you can do than complain about what’s said here. There’s no need to get all defensive this is all in good fun.
    And to the rest of you if you dislike hk soo much why do you read a blog dedicated to her, you’re like backwords fanatics.

  18. Eize, not bad, although I really had a device for firing HK trom, eather than one that was HKified. Try using more specialised terms in your next search, like Mangonel, Onager or Trebuchet, and see if that gives better results.

    Kay, you’ve missed the point. This is a blog about what’s wrong with themed marketting.

  19. If this was about.What’s wrong with theamed marketing wouldn’t it be about a more broad topic, something other than a cat? Notice the site is called “hello kitty hell” not “the wongness of theamed marketing.” that tells me that this is all about hk.
    Sory I didn’t mean to post the same thing twice earlier, my comp. Said it didn’t go through the first time but ovoiously not.

  20. That is understandable. Lol. I like hk but after a while it’s just too much pink. And my boyfriend likes the cat more than I do. Lol.

  21. “And the person who made this drawing doesnโ€™t know what is in Hello Kittyโ€™s heart. Itโ€™s blasphemy to draw something like that because Hello Kitty would never hurt a living soul”

    Aren’t we forgetting that Hello Kitty is not a real person, but rather is INANIMATE and therefore cannot possess her own values, heart, desires, etc?

    Plus, the ak47’s and the beautiful tank running around here are actually designed to hurt living souls ๐Ÿ˜‰

  22. More to the point Jessbyte, HK is not a deity, nor is “HK worship” a recognised religion. Accordingly, it is actually legally impossible to commit blasphemy against HK. A breach of copyright suit might be possible though.

  23. She is inanimate so she couldn’t have hurtful desires either, perhaps her creater sanrio does though. So there’s nothing wrong with hk it’s sanrio that’s, marketing everthing from guns to vibrators. I think if your going to be upset that these products are produced it should be directed at the company not the cat, she has no mind, and may in fact be innocent.

  24. “I vowed to stop commenting because my comments were the only reason your blog was getting more popular…”

    *shakes head in disbelief*

  25. Dear Flying Potato

    Your idea for the Soylent Green sponsorship by Hello Kitty is awesome. How do we fully realize this idea… Hmmm…

  26. Ok Leah, just who’s sick?

    When answering, please bear in mind that having a warped sense of humour is not (at least necessarily) a sign of mental illness, and that several of us have already admitted having a warped (or in my case actually bent) SoH!!

  27. Oh come on!

    I love Hello Kitty but even I have a sense of humor, I actually laughed at the screen (which caused awkward stares from the parents in the living room) ..but how different is it to see an adorable drawing of halloween hello kitty in azombie costume, than to see normal kitty-chan with a cartoon arm in her own paws.

    I think I wouldn’t have been able to not-laugh at it you showed amazing restraint. xD

  28. hhahaha. o,wow.
    you are hilarious!!!
    but i kinda love[just a tad obsessed w/ Hello Kitty.]
    but this site is really funny. your wifee sounds awesome!!
    [this site is actually giving me ideas for stuff to buyy!!]
    and im 13!
    keep up da good workk!!
    p.s. does ur wifee know about this sitee??:)

  29. OMG, you guys are hilarious!
    This is my first time here and I am a HUGE HK fan and loved both pics! There is nothing wrong with making something cute and cuddly into something a little twisted, right ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I mean step into a Hot Topic store and see HK skull & crossbones jackets (which I own) and you’re in heaven!

  30. I LOVE Hello Kitty! This is sooo mean. Both pictures, mostly the one with blood and guts, (throwing up) why would someone do such a thing? And first of all, this “Hello Kitty Hell” thing is sooo dumb. It’s a cute little make believe character! How could you despise hello kitty that much?
    I mean, come on. That’s obsessing….

  31. that is so not funny.
    you are a very strange and freaky lil man….
    i hate you for that you nasty little worm
    your a weirdy!!!!!!

  32. ewwwww poor hello kitty your a big meanie and we’re gonna find you and slap you in your face!!!!! you big MEANNNIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRGG… I’M SO MAD I COULD JUST KILLL YOU

  33. WAT THE HELL??????????
    How cud u dis hello kitty like this???????
    If this is supposed to b a jk, IT ISNT VERY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Last 6 posters: Grow up. Not everyone likes the same thing, and it can be really offensive to have something you don’t like continually shoved in your face. If you don’t like it, you always have the option of leaving.

    Me, I’m staying. I like the Hellish Kitty pic ๐Ÿ˜›

  35. Okay. I do agree, it was a little mean to be smiling when your wife is being upset by this. (But maybe she deserves it a little for putting you through so much discomfort!)

    HK is fair game. It is an icon, and can be abused as such. (I mean, wtf? you can do a “hello jesus” tatoo and get bashed at for making fun of HK?!?!)

    One problem, man.

    In this form, HK is still gaining popularity…

  36. Who’s Darlene???

    I’m a Hello Kitty fan…I’ve got a SANRIO STORE here in PORTUGAL (Europe..no, we don’t belong to Spain…we are near…but we are a Country!!!to those who are geografically..confuse!) But i love to come here and read these extraordinary stories! It’s funny, because, although i’m not that fanatic his your wife or Darlene..my husband says “No more HK stuff in the house” eheheh
    Keep on with this website…I do a lot of publicity to it..because it’s funny!!!

  37. I really love this drawing of Hello Kitty. Some say Hello Kitty is just part of all this horrible anime. I like anime and I do think the Hello Kitty church was a bit wierd. I can only admit to giving in to this loveable figure, mainly because there is no use denying it.

  38. Its cute! no offense but ur wife needs to lighten up its just fun.

    And if she doesnt like it fair enough but theres no need to get offended.

    Ps darlene you need to get a life or a personality!!! His wife is just a bit sensitive but you are a total prick!!! XD

  39. this has to be the worst thing ive seen since i picked up the last peta magazine. its extremely offending and i think u need to invest in doing something like this to yourself ๐Ÿ™‚

  40. hahahahaha yes thats how Hello Kitty rolls man =3… I should send you a picture of what I did for art, my “Goodbye Kitty” ceramic…

  41. Ya know that is sick and evil that is a bunch of crap ya did y7a no if kids saw this there gonna ask Questions you sure are a Hello Kitty Hater next do how guys should have a life Loser! =P

  42. this is an awsome drawing and people can draw what ever the hell they want, and express themselves, if you didnt notice there are worser people in this world and yer making things worse by the judgement.

  43. To all the poor souls who are offended by this picture, it is with much soberness that I must inform you..


    *shakes heads of offended Hello Kitty fans, & yells* “HELLOOO!!!!! IS THERE ANYBODY IN THERE!!!!”

    This page is satire peeps, not terrorism – LIGHTEN UP Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!

  44. You’re just wrong…..
    Just because a cartoon gets more recognition than you do, doesn’t mean you should put it down. :p

  45. Well I got to admit your convo with your wife made me laugh!
    But I think HelloKitty is much better than playboy.

    Does anybody else agree with me?

  46. I want to know why it i so far fetched for Hello Kitty to become a zombie? It could happen, it could happen to anyone. its not so far fetched. Hasent anyone read World War Z? I sacrifice an arm for Hello Kitty.

  47. Darlene…. I just have to ask, exactly how old are you? You DO realize that Hello Kitty is a fictional character. A cartoon in fact. A toy. Perhaps, now just perhaps your over protectiveness of her is because you are actually crazy in love with her. And good for you! Everyone deserves to be in love.

    Keep it up. Your very entertaining!

  48. “wife: โ€œHello Kitty doesnโ€™t have a mouth. She could never take a bite like that!โ€

    me: โ€œhmmmmmโ€ฆโ€ (wondering if Hello Kitty doesnโ€™t have a mouth, why do I have to always listen to her sing her theme songโ€ฆ”

    ROFLLMAOLMAO that’s all I got to say LOL

  49. Awesome!!!!!
    You wouldn’t believe the the things I make Mimi do…..
    They make your Miss Hell Kitty look like a darling little Angel.

  50. First time to the site…..LOVE IT!!! I do have to admit that Darleen brought it all home for me! LMAO!! Donโ€™t know what is in Hello Kitty’s heart…..it is an animated character…..um no heart to speak of; hell the little kwitch doesnโ€™t even have a mouth!
    I wonder home many cats that lady has! Heeheeโ€ฆ..Love it…..I will return, thatโ€™s for sure!

    Great way to start the day, thanks for the giggles!

  51. WTF? I somewhat dig HK but let’s all get a reality check… HK is not a human being or even a real cat! Those that are offended at this zombie HK need a life. Corporate society has crammed her down our throats. She might be Japan’s #1 ambassador but I’m not Japanese. Some Americans seem to worship her. She’s like Gonzilla stomping all over the globe. If you don’t have an open sense of humor, maybe you shouldn’t be at this site.

  52. It is amazing that you went through that entire scenario without laughing.
    I would have lost it.


    Blaspheme – To speak of (God or a sacred entity) in an irreverent, impious manner.

    I’m sure that Hello Kitty is neither God or a sacred entity.
    Some people may hold her near and dear, but she’s not sacred. Come on now.

    Really, it’s a cute drawing, it’s creative.

  53. I think we all know that hello kitty isn’t a real being or anything like that but that doesn’t mean we can’t love her,right? Some of you guys sound cold hearted. (no offense) But this pic is cute but I have to admit it’s a little creepy. Everybody has opinions and it doesn’t mean that they have to LOVE hello kitty but, you could show some respect even if hello kitty isn’t real.

  54. Awww. That drawing is adorable. ?
    I love Hello kitty. I don’t understand why people would find this offensive, even if they are a fan…

  55. this is offensive to people who like hello kitty.. wtf!? hello kitty hell? yu serious.. yes it is blasphemy! igorant and stupid! always gotta turn sum child-like character into a sinful thing.. its childish and ridiculous to me!

  56. Oh my God.

    I should bust out laughing at this, then use it as my MSN icon. Great artwork, I would never have thought of drawing something like this. This makes me wonder if HK’s only popular because nobody realizes that she eats human flesh.

  57. darlene, if this guys upsets you so much how come you keep reading his blog? heres a novel idea, to save you from so much anquish. take you mouse and click google. and type in any thing you want, viola! bad feelings gone lots of happy links!

    and dont flatter your self, your comments are not the reason why his blog is so popular. i dont come back to read HIS blog to read YOUR comments. you just happen to be there. finaly LIGHTEN UP FOR GOD’S SAKE! its just a cartoon character! its not even that gory. to have that amount of rightouse indignation over a comercial icon is pathetic. shes not real. and as for blasphemy, shes not a religion, shes a cult. wich you are obviously a memeber of, and nobody cares.

  58. This drawing is wicked awesome. but some of the anger getting tossed at it is just fanatical… kinda makes one want to retch how sickly obsessed and nearsighted some people are. Have a laugh and keep this stuff coming!


  60. I’ve often checked this site out with much amusement, but this is the first time I’ve actually read any of the comments. I must admit I’m quite astounded by the vigorous (fanatical?) defense of the alleged moral character of a cartoon cat. I stumbled across this site while looking for reference images for a piece of art that I should share with you guys when I’m done.

  61. ha ha “shadowdragon” is your name and you said
    “Time to grow up.” ah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    you nerd ๐Ÿ˜€

  62. Oh, it’s so satisfying, like revenge! every time at school i see this drawn slut everiwhere, in shops, in streets, even in hospitals too. Destroy all!

  63. As big of a fan of Hello Kitty I am I can’t be offended by this. There’s a lot of sick artwork out there that’s actually good and this is one of them, and with so many people in the world there’s bound to be as many Anti-Hello Kitties as Hello Kitties.

  64. I read all these comments until my eyes started to bleed! To the poor HK husband, love the site, even if you don’t love HK! This could have been written by my youngest son. The oldest one likes HK because I do. The youngest protests that HK should burn in hell for eternity, yet tells his girlfriend to buy me HK stuff for special occasions. Same son who once held a bag of HK merchandise at arm’s length while I wrote out a check!
    For the haters, get over yourselves…
    For the fanatics, see “For the haters”…
    You people are all taking this way more seriously than you should. If you don’t like it, don’t get on the site!
    My friend Bruno sent me the link because he knows I love HK and have a twisted sense of humor about her. Can the negativity, you freaks, and just enjoy HK in her many forms…. ROTFLMAO! ;D

  65. haha i love this!!! i showed it to my bf and he just laughed, he thought it was funny ๐Ÿ™‚ i sooo love it, i mean so much that if i could make it a giant poster and put it up in my room i soo would ๐Ÿ˜€

  66. I am mortified to say the least that people actually think hello kitty can live, breathe etc and can define hello kitty as a ‘true’ hello kitty, oh go play with your toys!

    And stop starting on Darlene, she likes hello kitty, you are a sick man that obviously hates his wife as well as what she likes…. and Darlene can use the word blasphemy if that is how she feels, you all say a lot worse sh*t to be honest, so get over yourselves and if she offended you, good i say, go move on to the marmite haters site….

    lmfao…… what site have i ended up on, jeez….. can we send in a psychiatrist please… people who want to murder a character?!?! And you think your sane?

  67. darlene.. im a hello kitty fanatic also and i make my boyfriend live through hello kitty hell, but seriously, have a sense of humor! this made me laugh my butt off.. really youre just making yourself sound dumbbb.

    p.s i absolutely love this blog. and my boyfriend totally agress with HKH when he says HK is the devil. <3

  68. this is IMPOSSIBLE! hello kitty doesnt have a mouth!! >:(

    she’s my favorite thing in the world… me && my husband are getting the hello kitty wedding bands<3

  69. adorable!! ๐Ÿ˜€ i love when hello kitty is bad ass like this… like when shes a zombie or dead and stuff. hehehehe

  70. I just have to say i love the conversations between the anti-hello kitty group and the tru hello kitty lovers. sorry to say hk lovers,but i think this website is hilarious but i also still am a fan of her,im like obsessed!


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