onezero – Page 100 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Luggage

January 14, 2007 by onezero

Now that we are back in Japan, I know that my Hello Kitty Hell will only increase in intensity. In the US, you can take a walk or drive and get away from Hello Kitty in times of desperation. When you live in Japan, however, there is no escaping Hello Kitty no matter where you go. Every shop has something Hello Kitty – it’s nauseating just thinking about it.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Hello Kitty Hell if I wasn’t bombarded with something Hello Kitty before we actually arrived in Japan. My wife decided that our current luggage, although perfectly functional, wasn’t cute enough. And of course, Hello Kitty luggage does exist:

Worst of all, they come in three patterns meaning that my wife wants all three. While I’m sure that Hello Kitty Hell will bring even more hideous tortures to me, at the moment I can’t think of anything less embarrassing than walking through a crowded airport dragging a Hello Kitty suitcase behind me…

Update: Now that we are planning our winter holiday, my wife thinks that what she needs is a new set of Hello Kitty luggage guaranteeing that our travels will be just as Hello Kitty Hellish as staying at home…

Sent in by Lori

Sent in by kliss

Sent in by allison

Sent in by lovethecat

Sent in by starrygirl

Hello Kitty iPod Clock Radio Docking Station

December 31, 2006 by onezero

Well, several readers (thanks Sabine, Becky and Dan for your contribution to my Hello Kitty Hell) decided that I should know about the new Hello Kitty clock radio / docking station for Apple’s iPod. It’s nice to know that those that read about my Hello Kitty Hell want to see me to sink deeper into it’s depths…

Of course, as soon as my wife got one look at it she decided that it was something that she had to have (like that was a surprise…). That means that I will soon have to wake up each morning to Hello Kitty and undoubtedly that awful Hello Kitty song:

Listen to that once (because I would never imagine torturing anyone by making them listen to it more than that) and imagine having to listen to it every single morning when you get up. That, my friends, is where my Hello Kitty Hell is heading with this newest gadget…

Hello Kitty Sake Rice Wine

December 30, 2006 by onezero

Last year at this time my wife and I almost had a first in Hello Kitty Hell – a Hello Kitty item that both my wife and I agreed upon was worth buying: Hello Kitty Sake (rice wine). I figured if it could get me drunk, it couldn’t be all that bad of a thing and so I agreed that it was OK to buy it without any complaints.

As you can see, we still have the bottle – once we had the bottle in hand and I was ready to break the seal and sip some of my reward for agreeing to get the Hello Kitty sake, I was told that I wasn’t allowed to drink it:

wife: “If you drink it, then we can no longer display it.”

me: “Isn’t drinking the point of buying sake?”

wife: “No, the point is to display it and enjoy how cute it is”

me: “…(thinking why didn’t I see this coming?)”

Of course, this year we are going to have to purchase another bottle that will never see my lips to keep last year’s bottle company…and a reminder that yet another year of Hello Kitty Hell just around the corner…

Hello Kitty Yarn

December 19, 2006 by onezero

Hello Kitty fanatics will buy anything that is branded Hello Kitty. My wife pays 3x as much for “Hello Kitty” yarn when she knits. Of course, this is simply regular yarn with a Hello Kitty label, but this makes no difference to her. It’s Hello Kitty so it’s the only yarn that will do:

Of course, being that this is Hello Kitty Hell, I actually don’t mind paying 3x the going price for Hello Kitty yarn because I always think that it could be worse. One day in the not to distant future, they are going to make yarn with Hello Kitty actually in the yarn itself and then I will have to wear Hello Kitty sweaters, hats and gloves all winter long…

$164,000 Platinum Hello Kitty Figure

December 2, 2006 by onezero

It is stores marketing to Hello Kitty fanatics during the Xmas season that by far worry me the most and you know that they are going to come up with some ridiculously expensive items that all Hello Kitty fanatics are going to be drooling over. This is that award goes to Nihonbashi Mitsukoshi department store in Tokyo which is selling a 590 gram platinum character for 18.9 million yen (approx $164,000). This is apparently the most expensive Hello Kitty figure ever produced (which will undoubtedly be outdone next year because there is always a Hello Kitty fan that is willing to pay more).

My wife has already printed out the photo and added it to her wish list (yeah, right….) Apparently she comes with seven different hair ribbons made of diamonds, rubies, and other precious gems that can be worn by Hello Kitty or used as a pendant (I need to figure out a way to sever her contacts back in Japan so that she doesn’t learn about these types of things…)

The figure will be on display this Tuesday in a special Christmas section at the Nihonbashi Mitsukoshi department store until December 21. I can tell you right now that we will not be heading back to Japan before this date because then we would have to spend every evening going to see it as our entertainment. On the bright side, I’d be a lot deeper in Hello Kitty Hell if I made more money…

Hello Kitty Laptop & Ipod

December 1, 2006 by onezero

My wife got wind that a special Hello Kitty laptop and ipod package will soon be launched in Japan so she wants us to go back there asap. See the problem is that this special offering is being limited to just 100 units so she is convinced that she will be able to resell them for a big profit. My worry is that they will never leave and just be more Hello Kitty Hell product filling up the house. The price also isn’t much of a deal with the pair selling for 248,000 yen (approx. $2100). We will be heading back for the New Year holiday there so I’m praying that they go on sale before then…

Hello Kitty Hamburger

November 26, 2006 by onezero

My wife took one look at the Hello Kitty hamburger and decided that she wanted to go there to eat. Fortunately, this isn’t available in the US or we would likely be eating there on a regular basis. Of course, she believes that if something like this was started in the US, it would be a great hit. While I would hope that Americans would have a bit better judgement, I have learned never to underestimate the zeal of Hello Kitty fanatics.

We did eat a lot of different Hello Kitty food when we were in Japan. It actually wasn’t as bad as it might first appear. Yes, it is somewhat nauseating having Hello Kitty stare back at you while you are eating, but there is a sort of satisfaction being able to munch down on her image and know eventually where she will be coming out (I’m actually hoping that my wife reads this and decides that I’m never allowed to eat Hello Kitty food again). You have to find a glimmer of hope where ever you can when you live in Hello Kitty Hell.

These photos were sent to me by reader slomo and comes via indianpad.

Is This A Hello Kitty Fan Site???

November 22, 2006 by onezero

Apparently the public relations firm that is promoting the new Sanrio site believes so:

Stumbled across your blog when I was doing searches for hellokitty stuff. Nice blog. Let me introduce myself first. I’m Allan Lianza, I work for Outblaze Limited. We provide online services to our clients. One of these clients are Sanrio. We run Sanriotown.com, a site that offers email, forum, games, video uploads and etc. We were wondering if you can post a PR of our new upgrades to the site? Its just a simple press release nothing fancy. I’m attaching a copy in this email if your interested.

Hoping for your reply and thanks!

Sincerely,

Allan Lianza
Content Support Supervisor

????!!!???? (shaking head in disbelief) I thought it was a joke from one of my readers when I first saw it, but sure enough, a press release was attached. I attribute it to Hello Kitty fanatics not being able to comprehend that a negative word could ever be uttered against her. That is the only logical reason someone promoting a Hello Kitty site would ask me to help…I’m trying to escape.

Isn’t that typical Hello Kitty Hell for you? I complain and ridicule Hello Kitty fanatics and then the company that runs Hello Kitty asks me to help promote Hello Kitty. This nightmare is becoming even worse than I imagined….

Hello Kitty Sewing Machine

November 16, 2006 by onezero

There should be a rule that Hello Kitty Xmas shopping can’t be considered until December (actually the rule should be that it is outlawed, but you have to begin with tiny steps). It seems that since I received my unwelcome Hello Kitty mouse and mouse pad, my wife has decided that the beginning of the Xmas season has begun. That means that every Hello Kitty items she finds that she wants ends up on a list of things I’m supposed to buy.

Her current #1 (which I’m desperately hoping will change) is this Hello Kitty sewing machine:

The part that she loves (and send shivers down my spine) is that it has a memory card that you can place in and it will automatically stitch Hello Kitty and her friends for you. I can already see the disasters that will occur if she ever ends up getting it. It’s start slowly with a Hello Kitty on a handkerchief or socks where nobody can see it. Before long, she’ll get a little bolder and decide that my polo shirts could use a Hello Kitty monogram. Once that happens, it’s all downhill and I won’t have a single piece of clothing that doesn’t have Hello Kitty somewhere on it.

You know that Hello Kitty Hell is taking on a whole new dimension when Hello Kitty items that aren’t even in the house start to haunt you…

Update: More Hello Kitty sewing machines

Hello Kitty transformer

Hello Kitty Xmas Hell

November 13, 2006 by onezero

I assumed that I wouldn’t have to deal with Hello Kitty Xmas Hell until next month, but as you can already tell from this blog, Hello Kitty Hell usually is not accommodating when it comes delaying anything Hellish. I went out to lunch with a friend this afternoon and when I came back, I found this attached to my computer:

Now, I make my living on the computer and having to use a Hello Kitty mouse and mouse pad would take Hello Kitty Hell to unimaginable levels.

wife: Surprise!

me: ummm, what is that?!?

wife: Your Xmas present.

me: It isn’t Xmas yet…

wife: I couldn’t wait. They are soooo cute!

me: (please, please, let this be a dream – pinching myself to know that it is reality) Maybe we should put it away until Xmas (hopefully pleading under breath)

wife: Oh no. This is a special gift.

me: I feel bad. I didn’t get you anything. I think it is better to put it away until I get you something (not realising the trap I’d just snapped all around me)

wife: But you did! I got a matching pair for me from you!

So I sit, with Hello Kitty mouse glowing pink at me with Hello Kitty mouse pad underneath mocking me in her cuteness wondering what on earth can happen to make Hello Kitty Hell any worse…