Strange

Hello Kitty VW Bug

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I hate receiving emails with photos like this because it will undoubtedly inspire my wife (something that we all know is definitely not needed for any Hello Kitty fanatic). This is exactly what my wife wants to do to our car. It’s bad enough that our car is getting Hello Kittified from the inside out and when I see things like this, I know it’s merely a matter of time before she takes it in for a Hello Kitty paint job:

Hello Kitty VW Bug

It will not be long before I’m going to be riding around in something that looks as bad (if not worse — and probably a lot pinker) than this. There is something so completely wrong when a grown man is forced to drive a Hello Kitty car that makes the thought of driving it over a 100 foot cliff and smashing into jagged rocks below a lot less painful than actually being seen around town in it, which pretty much sums up the feeling of living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by tracey who deserves to have to drive around in something like this for the rest of her life for thinking for a single moment that it would be a good idea to send this photo to me…

Hello Kitty Baby

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Once again Hello Kitty Hell proves that it can always get worse…

You knew it had to happen eventually. If Hello Kitty fanatics were willing to place Hello Kitty heads on cats and dogs, it didn’t take much of a leap to know they would eventually do it to their own babies as well:

Hello Kitty baby

This is so obviously wrong that I don’t know where to even begin. Isn’t there a law somewhere that states completely humiliating your child for the rest of their life is some sort of child abuse? If there isn’t, this is the perfect proof that there should be.

Of course, my wife thinks this is “the cutest thing ever” which means that I will have to endure something similar if we ever have kids. While I do worry that such antics will scar the kids for life, I’m sure that having to deal with Hello Kitty child cuteness will scar me far more since it will only fuel the Hello Kitty Hell flames taking it to a whole other level…

Sent in by Mhkitty who should be punished in unthinkable ways for putting the thought of this into my wife’s mind and seeding my nightmares for the rest of the month…

Hello Kitty Hairy Foot Tattoo

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Hello Kitty tattoos are disturbing. Hello Kitty tattoos on men are even more disturbing. Hello Kitty tattoos on the hairy feet of men with painted toe nails take disturbing to a new level:

Hello Kitty hairy foot tattoo

I have no idea why people feel compelled to send me photos like this because there is absolutely no good that can come from showing images like this to anyone, especially me when I want to keep all my food down.

Sent in by Kat who deserves to have a boyfriend with a Hello Kitty tattoo on his hairy foot for even imagining that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Online — MMORPG Beta

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While I was earnestly hoping that this entire nightmare would simply go away, it appears that the readers here will not allow that since I have received over 40 emails to date letting me know that the Hello Kitty MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) has launched. While over 40 emails from readers in itself is extremely disturbing (most with far too much exuberance), even more disturbing was the fact that I received an official press release from Sanrio Digital about this (how completely warped is that? There is something seriously wrong in the world when Sanrio begins sending me press releases…)

Hello Kitty online

As should come as no surprise, the press release shows that the Hello Kitty sticks with her true colors by making money (“The Item Mall allows players to use real money to purchase special items and upgrades for characters”) and creating violence (“Hello Kitty Online has an extensive crafting system with output such as tools & weapons…it has a sophisticated combat system”) key aspects to the game. You actually thought they would stop with Hello Kitty guns and Hello Kitty armoured personnel carriers?

Of course, my wife thinks that this game will somehow endear me to the evil feline since she knows I enjoy online games. “Don’t you just want to play?! Doesn’t it sound like the most fun ever?!” (those are questions that quickly lead to the couch and the Hello Kitty sleeping bag)

I wonder if the game will let you immediately commit suicide because even before being forced to try it out, I already know that is the only thing I’m ever going to want to do while playing it. Once again, Sanrio proves that they can always make my Hello Kitty Hell worse…

Sent in by Sanrio Digital (warning: as is to be expected from all things Hello Kitty related, annoying music will blast from your computer speakers) where all people working deserve to lose their jobs for thinking for one second that 1. creating this game was a good idea and 2. sending me a press release about it so my wife could know about it was in any way, shape or form a smart thing to do…

Hello Kitty Eggs

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In my wife’s never ending quest to make as much of our food Hello Kittified as possible, she recently purchased moulds that turn hard boiled eggs into Hello Kitty’s face:

Hello Kitty eggs

Believe me, there is nothing more frightening that waking up in the morning, walking to the breakfast table still half asleep, sitting down only to have Hello Kitty face eggs staring back at you…

Photo sent in by hellosis who really should have to have all her food in the shape of Hello Kitty so she can suffer the same terror as I have to for reminding me of the nightmare I experienced only a few days previously…

Hello Kitty Air Guitar

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It’s bad enough that there are a wide arrange of Hello Kitty electric guitars (not to mention Hello Kitty acoustic guitars), but it goes to a whole new level when Hello Kitty forces her way into an air guitar competition:

I really didn’t need to see this and I’m sure I’ll be having plenty of nightmares about it in the days to come, but that is typical when you live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by R who wrote, “I thought you would NOT enjoy this as much as I DIDN’T enjoy it, But misery loves company, so…” but still deserves to listen to all his music played on Hello Kitty guitars for making me share his misery…

Hello Kitty Zombie Art

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As I mentioned previously, there are very rare occasions when I actually like something Hello Kitty that I come across. This series of Hello Kitty zombies fits that category as well:

Hello Kitty zombie art

Hello Kitty zombie art

Hello Kitty zombie worms

Hello Kitty zombie intestines

Hello Kitty zombie zits

It is always nice when an artist is able to capture the “true” Hello Kitty for the world to see. Having spent the last few years in hello Kitty Hell, I have no doubt that this is exactly what the evil feline’s real nature is…

Sent in by Kay (via Art School Dropout) who would normally deserve a beer for sending these to me, but also sent me a photo with her Hello Kitty tattoo which negated the goodness of the zombie art I had been enjoying…

Hello Kitty Sexy Nightmare

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I know it’s going to be a really bad Hello Kitty Hell day when something like this arrives in my mailbox. Seriously, this is what my nightmares are made of:

Hello Kitty sexy

This is just so wrong on so many different levels that I don’t even have words to describe how much it scares me. The worst part being that Hello Kitty fanatics think that this is sexy and would be something that would turn men on. Damn, I’m not going to be able to sleep well for the rest of the month now with this image branded into my brain and I will fear walking in the door for even longer on the chance that this has given some type of inspiration to my wife. Once again, Hello Kitty Hell proves it can always get worse…

Sent in by devin who should have to date a woman just like this for the rest of his life (and even after death) for the trauma caused when I saw this and for thinking for even an instant that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Dog Blanket

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There are few things worse than being the significant other of a Hello Kitty fanatic, but one possible exception may be being the pet of a Hello Kitty fanatic. This is especially true if you happen to be a canine. While it would seem that nothing could be more humiliating for a dog than to be forced to wear a Hello Kitty head or being tattooed with Hello Kitty, being dressed up in a Hello Kitty blanket certainly is up there in the running:

Hello Kitty dog blanket

Hello Kitty dog blanket

Obviously, most people look at this and think “wtf are you doing to that poor thing!?!” If, however, you show this to your significant other and instead get the reaction, “ahhhhhh, that is the cutest thing ever! That person must love their dog so much” then you must realize that you have nothing to look forward to in life but a constant barrage of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by greta (via Elevated who should have to wear that blanket around for the rest of her life for believing that these photos are “soooo cute” and that sending me these photos would be a good idea in any way, shape or form…

Hello Kitty Boxing Shorts

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You would think that Hello Kitty would realize that there are some areas where she just doesn’t belong, but the evil feline and her throng of fanatics are oblivious to this fact. Thus, you have creations such as the Hello Kitty Thai boxing shorts:

Hello Kitty boxing shorts

I think that it suffices to simply say that there is something seriously wrong with the world when Hello Kitty is showing up on boxing shorts…

Sent in by Matthew (via muaythaiart) who should have to wear those for the rest of his life for thinking for even a second that making me aware of their existence would ever be a good idea…