I try to avoid showing any Hello Kitty food to my wife because when photos of it end up in my email, three incredibly tortuous things happen. It goes without saying that I have to hear about how cute the Hello Kitty food item is for the next week. During that time I’m under constant threat that my wife will actually try to make the Hello Kitty food item in question which will mean that I will have to eat it. Then there is the whole “only Hello Kitty food diet” that inevitably comes back to life that my wife still believes would be a good idea. With this in mind, I jumped back in fear when the Hello Kitty Jello landed in my email:
If you just read the title of this post, you probably had your heart skip a beat. While it’s not quite that bad and is safe for work, it’s still definitely Hello Kitty Hellish. Not that Hello Kitty really needs anything to go with the Hello Kitty guts, but since the Japanese like to brand their snacks with names that probably wouldn’t sell well in the US, you have things like Hello Kitty Collon:
I know it’s going to be an extra special Hello Kitty Hell day when my wife comes into the room with a bright, shining smile and announces that Hello Kitty sushi (which pretty much ranks up there on the nausea scale with Hello Kitty bento) will be something I should be looking forward to trying next week:
In my wife’s never ending quest to make as much of our food Hello Kittified as possible, she recently purchased moulds that turn hard boiled eggs into Hello Kitty’s face:
Believe me, there is nothing more frightening that waking up in the morning, walking to the breakfast table still half asleep, sitting down only to have Hello Kitty face eggs staring back at you…
Photo sent in by hellosis who really should have to have all her food in the shape of Hello Kitty so she can suffer the same terror as I have to for reminding me of the nightmare I experienced only a few days previously…
I made a comment in one of my previous posts that Hello Kitty is on everything except pizza and beer and that in time, she will probably be on those too. Well, it seems that one of those can be crossed off the list with the introduction of Hello Kitty pizza:
There aren’t many things in life that can stop me from eating pizza, but this is one of them. There is something seriously wrong in the world when pizza is being made in the shape of the evil feline’s head with a slab of mystery meat as her bow.
Of course, this plays right into my wife’s ultimate goal of serving only Hello Kitty food and she is already searching the local stores to see if we can get some to try. Yet one more reason to note that things can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…
Sent in by Andrea who really should have to eat only Hello Kitty food for the rest of her life for thinking that it could in any way be a good idea to bring this to my wife’s attention.
Update: Even after all this, people think that attempts at Hello Kitty pizza is a good idea:
Sent in by Gloria
Sent in by joe (via capitu)
Sent in my renaldo
Sent in by sally
Sent in by Amy
I miss forks. Living in Japan where we use chopsticks all the time and stabbing food with them is considered extremely rude, you aren’t able to pull something like this off and be able to claim to the Hello Kitty fanatic next to you that you had no intention of inflicting any harm to the evil feline in any way:
Sent in by Pilar (via Richy!) who deserves a beer if we ever meet for letting me imagine that I will be able to do something like this to take out my frustration and get away with it if I’m ever forced to fly on the Hello Kitty airline…
You may remember me telling you about the pimped out Hello Kitty cell phone that my wife had made and my embarrassing experience in the grocery store with it a couple of months back. My wife was quite distressed to learn that I wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t find the Hello Kitty sausages because our local store stopped selling them (yes, there is one sane store manager who was able to stand up to Sanrio in Japan). That means that my wife has been on a crusade to try to find a new place to get them since and, to her joy (and my chagrin) she was able to locate them the other day:
I still am not sure why we have to have Hello Kitty on our food (it’s another one of those Hello Kitty fanatic things that no normal person will ever be able to comprehend) and even with the pleasure of getting to chomp my teeth into her and grind her up, it doesn’t make up for the nauseating experience of having to look at her on my plate.
The finding of the Hello Kitty sausages somehow revived talk of only eating Hello Kitty food again (a nightmare scenario that I have been praying would somehow fade away, but always seems to reappear to send chills down my spine). All I know is that if this idea transpires into reality, Hello Kitty Hell will have progressed to new depths that I don’t even want to imagine.