Hello Kitty Portable Body Fat Meter

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, one of the worst sounds you can hear is the doorbell. That is because there is a 99% chance that whoever is ringing it is doing so with the intention of adding yet another piece to the ever growing mountain of Hello Kitty crap that has already found its way into your house. Today’s doorbell ring did not disappoint.

It’s already been well established that Hello Kitty has produced more than her fair share of completely useless gadgets, but it doesn’t appear that this will in any way stop her from producing more. That’s why it should come as no surprise that the Hello Kitty portable body fat meter exists:

Hello Kitty body fat meter

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Hello Kitty Robomop

In Hello Kitty Hell one would imagine that it couldn’t get worse than having Hello Kitty on every shelf constantly staring back at you in your home, but then that would be once again underestimating the evil feline. Now I have to constantly watch where I walk so that I don’t trip over my wife’s latest addition to her ever growing collection: the Hello Kitty Robomop:

Hello Kitty Robomop

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More Hello Kitty Computer Laptops

I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise since we all know that Hello Kitty will do anything to make a buck, but the evil feline has decided to turn computer laptops into a fashion statement and roll out new themes every 6 months. The process has been building over the years. At one point, you had to actually pimp out your own Hello Kitty computer before Epson decided to bling out the laptop for you. From there is went down hill. That success lead to monogrammed Hello Kitty themes and we all prayed that would put things to an end, but alas Epson has decided to come out with 2 more Hello Kitty themes: Flower and Airplane

Hello Kitty Epson Laptop Flowers

Hello Kitty Epson Computer Airplane

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Hello Kitty Electronic Toilet Paper Dispenser

Once again, Sanrio and Hello Kitty provide another items that instantly becomes a front-runner for the most useless product in the world. Of course, this makes no difference to my wife that has her heart set on one of these Hello Kitty electronic toilet paper dispensers for Christmas:

Hello Kitty toilet paper dispenser

In classic Hello Kitty sales pitch style, the advertising copy trumps the low cost of using this device which only uses $1 a year in power to operate. Of course, that savings has little meaning when the unit itself costs approximately $220 (24,000 yen) which Hello Kitty seems to have conveniently forgotten while explaining how energy efficient the gadget is. And what do you get for that $220? The Hello Kitty toilet paper dispenser can be pre-program so that your exact favorite length of toilet paper will appear when pressing the button. That’s right. You can choose one of nine different length settings (each 20 centimeters difference) so that you never have more or less toilet paper than you really want for $220 and $1 a year in energy costs (if the thing doesn’t break after the first few uses).

While it really couldn’t make our bathroom look any worse than it already does and we have the Hello Kitty toilet paper that would match it perfectly, there is always the inconvenient problem that I’m not actually allowed to use the Hello Kitty toilet paper for its intended purpose which pretty much makes the entire gadget useless which pretty much sums up all gadgets in Hello Kitty Hell…