Over 500 Hello Kitty Items Gone!

Back in July I asked all of you to comment on a post to help me get rid of 200 Hello Kitty items by leaving a comment on the post. The deal was that if the thread got over 1000 comments, my wife would donate 200 of her Hello Kitty items to a local orphanage that I collect presents for here in Japan. If the thread failed to reach 1000, I had to take my wife on a Hello Kitty trip without complaining. Luckily, you all came through and there were a total of 1,219 comments left.

Last weekend we ended up gathering up all the items for the orphanage. We asked what the kids wanted most and the request was for plush and for small items like pencils, notebooks and key-chain holders that they could use at school. We ended up giving more than 300 Hello Kitty plush away along with 200 of the smaller items that the kids had requested meaning that over 500 Hello Kitty themed goods left my house!!

Hello Kitty Plush

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Hello Kitty Computer Case Mod

It’s not enough that Hello Kitty comes out with a new Hello Kittified computer every few months and more Hello Kitty computer accessories than is healthy for anyone that can still refer to themselves sane to have, but of course that is not enough for the true Hello Kitty fanatics. They have to go out and Hello Kittify their computer themselves like this Hello Kitty case mod:

Hello Kitty computer case mod

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Hello Kitty Military Patch

It was bound to happen. If you are in the military and are out patrolling putting your life on the line, you want to have the scariest uniform possible for the enemy to see. Something so damn scary that one look at it and the enemy hauls ass in the opposite direction as quickly as possible. There is only one thing in this world that can universally produce such a reaction, so it’s no surprise to see some soldiers in the military adopting the Hello Kitty military patch:

Hello Kitty soldier

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Hello Kitty Skeleton Tattoo (with bow)

This is why I hate living in Hello Kitty Hell. Any normal person would assume that an anatomically correct Hello kitty skeleton wouldn’t exist. Being in Hello kitty Hell, I unfortunately have to learn that such a Hello Kitty anatomically correct tattoo does exist. Even the most jaded person would assume that this insanity would end there, but that would not be giving due credit to the true nature of Hello Kitty fanatics. What would make a Hello Kitty skeleton tattoo even more Hello Kitty like? Well, a Hello Kitty skeleton tattoo with bow of course:

Hello Kitty skeleton tattoo with bow

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Hello Kitty Skeleton Tattoo

There’s no escaping Hello Kitty even when on vacation, but those stories of unbearable torture will have to wait while I try to clear my email of 2 weeks of Hello Kitty crap sent my way. As I try to ease myself back into this nightmare that has become my life, I’ve chosen the least offensive of the many new Hello Kitty tattoos to make their way to my inbox – the Hello Kitty skeleton tattoo:

Hello Kitty skeleton tattoo

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Hello Kitty Desk

You really don’t know Hello Kitty Hell until a true Hello Kitty fanatic is in your presence on a daily basis. Imagine, for instance, that you had a co-worker that was a Hello Kitty fanatic. You might be saying to yourself, “oh, I know someone that likes the evil feline” but they really aren’t a Hello Kitty fanatic unless they have decorated their desk like this:

Hello Kitty desk

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Hello Kitty MBA Hell

I get all kinds of strange emails linking Hello Kitty with anything you can dream of. You know that the world is nearing the end when MBA students are getting college credit for studying Hello Kitty. You know that I’m in the middle of the Hello Kitty Hell tsunami when those students write to me for help with their project:

We are a group of first year full time MBA students in UC Irvine doing a big marketing project on Hello Kitty and we really need a big favor from you – if possible, to complete this 5 min survey and also to post this survey on your blog or ask your friends to help out as well. We need data that can exclude demographic limitations so we need people from all over the world to do this and we are looking for more than 2000 participants. Please use your charm and also your passion for kitty to help us on this survey!

Obviously these students need to do a bit more research if they believe that I have a “passion for kitty” or that I would ever place my friends into such a tortuous position in the guise of helping (although it seems to be a pretty good project for my enemies). Maybe they should get a failing grade before they even start and save everyone the pain of having to learn anything new about Hello Kitty.

Of course, my wife thinks it’s a wonderful idea and is of the opinion that college would be a much better place if all people had to study about Hello Kitty as part of their graduation requirement. Hello Kitty University – there’s something to look forward to that you know the people at Sanrio are probably all going to be saying, “why didn’t we think of that before?” at their next meeting.

Something tells me these students have already lined up plum job positions at the corporate headquarters of the evil feline or are trying to weasel their way in by kissing some you know what. Seriously, if you were a student and could pick any marketing theme project to conduct, why on earth would you pick Hello Kitty? Or an even better question, why the hell would you think it was a good idea to ask me to help you with it?