When it comes to ruining foods, look no further than the evil feline. Her latest endeavor in her never ending quest to put the Hello Kitty name on anything and everything in the world is the creation of Hello Kitty Cheetos:
Food
Hello Kitty Popsicles
I guess it was a far too hopeful for me to wish that Hello Kitty could ever be satisfied with the torture that she unleashed on all the significant others of Hello Kitty fanatics with her horrifying Hello Kitty ice-cream because she decided for some unfathomable reason that she also needed a Hello Kitty popsicle version:
Hello Kitty Gingerbread Raisin Cookies
The biggest problem with posting any type of food on this blog (such as yesterday’s Hello Kitty pretzels) is that Hello Kitty fanatics feel it’s somehow their duty in life to send me more Hello Kitty food atrocities. Thus I have things like Hello Kitty gingerbread raisin cookies show up to ensure that I continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell and fear every type of food out there.
Hello Kitty Pretzel
If you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you quickly learn that it is never a good idea to mention Hello Kitty and a food product in the same sentence. If you do, the result is often quite unfortunate and you end up with things like Hello Kitty pretzels in front of you:
Hello Kitty Valentine Chocolate
I should know better. Hello Kitty fanatics waste absolutely no time spreading the torture of the upcoming holiday at hand. With the beginning of a new month, I should have known that it was going to be a mistake to open any email that had Hello Kitty and <3 in the title. Apparently Hello Kitty fanatics aren’t satisfied with hearts on Valentine’s Day and feel that it is necessary to include Hello Kitty chocolate in the mix as well:
Hello Kitty Scrambled Eggs
Hello Kitty fanatics have a way of ruining breakfast. Be it Hello Kitty coffee, Hello Kitty waffles or Hello Kitty pancakes, there is always the danger that the evil feline will show up on your plate while you’re still half asleep to scare the hell out of you for the rest of the day. I know because this has happened to me far to often. We can now add another possible breakfast horror to the list — Hello Kitty scrambled eggs which are absolutely not something any sane person would want to wake up to in the morning:
Hello Kitty Onigiri
Having a Hello Kitty fanatic in your life is bad. Really bad. So bad that nobody except those suffering through their own Hello Kitty Hell can even understand. My sympathies go out to you, but is actually can be worse. Seriously, I don’t think that there can be something quite as terrifying and sadistic as a follower of the evil feline that also likes to cook. All you have to do is look at Hello Kitty sushi (or even worse, Hello Kitty spam sushi) and Hello Kitty bentos to realize the horrifying truth to this statement. Or Hello Kitty onigiri:
Hello Kitty Frozen Beef Patty
Add cows to the growing list of animals that despise the evil feline. Apparently, Hello Kitty didn’t feel that creating Hello Kitty hamburgers was enough and decided that she also needed to brand Hello Kitty frozen beef patties as well:
Hello Kitty Canned Pasta With Sauce
One would think that the mere fact that Hello Kitty pasta exists would be enough to satisfy the evil feline in the area of pasta, but that would be greatly underestimating the desire of Hello Kitty to take over the world. So the next obvious step was for the people at Sanrio to help develop Hello Kitty canned pasta:
