One mans hell with cute overload
I hate when I receive emails like this. My wife took one look at this Hello Kitty bathtub and wants one for our place:
It’s bad enough with all the Hello Kitty crap that is already in the bathing area, but the thought of actually having to take a bath inside a Hello Kitty face sends chills up my spine. I’m praying that she can’t locate one so I can avoid this new addition to Hello Kitty Hell…
Photo sent by laschult (who deserves to take all her baths in one of these) via Japan Steven
I don’t get it (what a big surprise there) – why do women think it’s cute to have Hello Kitty on the ends of their fingers? Some more nails that my wife “just has to have”
I have nightmares about things like this…you know those ghost stories where a single hand comes after you? It becomes exponentially more scary when there are Hello Kitty press on finger nails on the end of the hand coming after you (bet you don’t want to even imagine something that horrifying, but that is my everyday Hello Kitty Hell…)
Sent in by Dominique from a BBC news website about a Tokyo beauty show – who should definitely be forced to wear those hideous things for the rest of the year…
Update: Doesn’t matter the pattern, Hello Kitty nails don’t ever get any better (via Cookiee46)
and more…
left by Jalie via facebook
Sent in by effie
Left by Ana via facebook
Sent in by far, far to many people including Anchalee on facebook
Left by @chinchowdoll on Twitter
Left by @PinkVelvetDream on Twitter
Left by Tracy via facebook
Left by Lydia via facebook
Sent in by Cat
Sent in by margot
Left on facebook by Mona
Left by @PinkVelvetDream on Twitter
Left by Tammie on facebook
Sent in by Jennifer
Sent in by Jennifer
Sent in by Mary via seek
Sent in by mary (via theinvisiblewombat)
Sent in by Martha
Sent in by Sanlv
If you just get out of prison and your buddies give you a Hello Kitty vibrator as a welcome back gift, what do you do with it? You modify it into a prison style tattoo gun of course:
I think I have figured out a way to keep my wife from getting that Hello Kitty tattoo that she wants. I’ll simply show her this tattoo gun and explain that any “real” Hello Kitty fan would only get a Hello Kitty tattoo with a Hello Kitty tattoo gun. Definitely worth a try…
Courtesy of Marichigo in the comments – It is my humble opinion that anyone that wants a Hello Kitty tattoo should get one with a tattoo gun like this.
I have been trying to avoid writing about this little piece of Hello Kitty Hell for awhile now, but people keep on sending me photos and links to it so I guess I should address it. Yes, my wife does have a Hello Kitty shoulder massager – commonly known as a Hello Kitty vibrator. It happened to be one of the first big hits when she began selling Hello Kitty stuff and didn’t realize what it was actually being used for.
To tell you the truth, the Hello Kitty vibrator gives me the creeps. While some men might fantasize about it, they are definitely not men living in Hello Kitty Hell. Maybe it’s just me having to see Hello Kitty everywhere every second of the day, but the last place I want to see the face of Hello Kitty at the end of the day is where she would be if the vibrator was in use. There is something just very very wrong with that image no matter how pleasing it may be to the woman…
UPDATE: Sanrio has reissued the Hello Kitty vibrator – now in four colors!
You probably assumed that Hello Kitty Hell could not get any worse, but as I have said time and again, Hello Kitty has a way of always topping herself. So it should come as no surprise that Hello Kitty Hell has gone into a completely new realm with the introduction of Hello Kitty religion. Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists – heck, even Scientologists have no reason to disagree with one another now that Hello Kitty has established her own religion.
Yes, Hello Kitty Hell has been bad, but having to look at Hello Kitty as the new deity certainly shows that it has been nothing up to this point (yep, hard for me even to believe those words came out). I wonder if this means I will have to go and pray weekly to a character that has no mouth (“because you can tell what Hello Kitty feels through your heart” – doesn’t that sound kind of cult religious creepy?)
OK, it’s stuff like this that freaks me out in Hello Kitty Hell. Hello Kitty on every conceivable product I have come to accept. Turning something not Hello Kitty into Hello Kitty to sell other products? That is exactly what they have done with this Hello Kitty mannequin:
It seems like there are some that would like to see Hello Kitty turn into a real live being (my wife already insists that she is – another clue as to whether or not you have a Hello Kitty fanatic on your hands), but even coming from Hello Kitty Hell, this is simply downright creepy – something straight out of a Hello Kitty horror movie. Of course, my wife thinks this would be a perfect thing to have to display her Hello Kitty clothes when she is not wearing them which presents one of those Hello Kitty Hell dilemmas – would Hello Kitty clothes on a mannequin or on my wife be worse? I hope I never have the chance to find out…
The thing about Hello Kitty Hell is that it will never end. Any normal person would assume that Hello Kitty would eventually run out of new things to stamp her little face on, but that is not how Hello Kitty works. When it becomes difficult to find items that haven’t already been Hello Kittified, there is a simple answer: invent new ones.
WTF?!? A Hello Kitty banana cover? Don’t bananas already come with their own naturally produced covers? That is how any normal person should react upon seeing this Hello Kitty product. Not my wife. “That is soooooo cute. We need some,” was her reaction in typical Hello Kitty Hell fashion.
Having lived in Hello Kitty Hell for a number of years, I have seen my share of completely useless Hello Kitty products. I have to say the Hello Kitty banana cover has to rank not only near the top of totally useless Hello Kitty products invented, but of all products ever invented. That being said, I have no doubt that the Hello Kitty apple and orange covers are already in the works…
Update: You really thought the evil feline could stop at one Hello Kitty banana cover?
Sent in by leslie
What’s worse than a Hello Kitty tattoo? How about a Hello Kitty Star Wars combination tattoo:
Not many things leave me speechless in Hello Kitty Hell these days, but this is one that comes close…
Sent by starkitty (via idoru45 created from this painting) who should have to watch Star Wars and Hello Kitty in combination for the rest of her life…
Update: Let The Wookie Win, for some unfathomable reason, thought it would be a good idea to share her Hello Kitty Stormtrooper tattoo with me. The fact that one person has this tattoo is disturbing, but that fact that more than one does is downright scary…
My wife’s friend came by and proudly displayed her new Hello Kitty tattoo. There is nothing worse to a Hello Kitty fanatic than having someone do something that would indicate in any way that they were more of Hello Kitty fan than the fanatic. My wife doesn’t often get jealous when it comes to Hello Kitty (how could she with all this crap she has?), but that wasn’t the case this time. So my wife is now insisting that she needs to get a Hello Kitty tattoo (or more) and is searching for the perfect one at the moment. Unfortunately, there seem to be plenty of Hello Kitty tattoos to choose from:
While the thought of anyone wanting to place Hello Kitty on their skin permanently is disturbing in its own right (wife: “It’s so cute and sexy and a tribute to Hello Kitty”), it also will add another aspect to Hello Kitty Hell. One of the only times that I don’t have to see Hello Kitty is when my wife doesn’t have any clothes on — a tattoo would make Hello Kitty Hell a 24 hour a day ordeal.
Sent in by Whitney
Sent in by Domonique
It is an extremely rare occasion when I’m sent a Hello Kitty photo that actually is appropriate to my plight:
Man, I feel for your situation. I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. While my girlfriend’s obsession isn’t on the same level as your wife’s, it’s enough to let me know the torture that Hello Kitty brings. So I thought you might like this.
Now if I have to have something with Hello Kitty on it, I can’t think of anything more appropriate to represent Hello Kitty Hell than a Hello Kitty barf bag. If my wife does decide to torture me with a consistent menu of Hello Kitty food in the future, when I get sick I can simply say I am filling up the bag with Hello Kitty and the thought of doing something like that brings a smile to my face…
Thanks to Brian who definitely deserves to never have to eat any Hello Kitty food from his girlfriend…