Vehicle – Page 4 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Lawnmower

January 11, 2009 by onezero

Although I have suspected it for some time, I am now convinced that there is a special unit at Sanrio that makes Hello Kitty items with the sole purpose being to irritate the hell out of the significant others of Hello Kitty fanatics. In fact, it would not surprise me if they have it nicknamed the “Hello Kitty Hell” department and basically start each day with the mantra, “How can we make Mr. HKH’s life even more miserable?” I have come to this conclusion because there is no possible way that something like the Hello Kitty lawnmower would ever come into existence without such a department:

Hello Kitty Tram

January 8, 2009 by onezero

You would think that public transportation would have some pity on the fine folks that use their service, but that is certainly not the case — at least in Italy. It’s kind of hard to imagine something ever being a bigger eyesore than a Hello Kitty pink tram, but obviously that doesn’t stop the evil feline from taking over one to torture all with the hideous color:

Hello Kitty Car License Plate

September 25, 2008 by onezero

One would assume that a personalized Hello Kitty license plate (or two) would be about as bad as it could get (although they do have those Hello Kitty license plate thingies that don’t even have names), but that would be greatly underestimating the evil feline. It appears that she was able to slip a few bucks under the table and somehow convince the people of Queensland that it would be a good idea of giving them the option to buy Hello Kitty license plates for their cars:

Hello Kitty Motorcycle Racing Leathers

July 21, 2008 by onezero

You knew that it would eventually happen. If a Hello Kitty motorcycle exists, it was only a matter of time for the Hello Kitty motorcycle racing leathers to appear:

Hello Kitty Horse Drawn Carriage

April 24, 2008 by onezero

This is the problem with Hello Kitty fanatics. When I make a post saying that Hello Kitty and romantic do not go together, that does not mean that I want you to suddenly start sending me photos of anything and everything that is Hello Kitty that my wife might even remotely consider romantic. For instance, a Hello Kitty horse drawn carriage:

Hello Kitty Pedicab

April 23, 2008 by onezero

There are certain things that should never be created, and Hello Kitty has more than her fair share of them. You can add the Hello Kitty pedicab to the list:

Hello Kitty Volkswagen Bug (for sale)

March 5, 2008 by onezero

It seems that the Hello Kitty VW bug that I mentioned earlier is currently up for auction on eBay:

Of course, upon seeing this my wife wanted us to buy immediately buy it. While the mere fact that Hello Kitty Hell exists pretty much is proof that no God exists, some higher being was looking down upon me in that the Hello Kitty bug is located in Australia so that she can’t get it. I’ll take anything I can get when living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Katherine who deserves unthinkable punishment for scaring me to death in thinking that we might have such a car in our driveway for the few minutes it took me to realize it wasn’t in Japan or the US…

Hello Kitty Polski Fiat Car

March 1, 2008 by onezero

I have long learned that it is never a good idea to open my email in the morning if I have been drinking the night before. Seeing Hello Kitty emails is bad enough, but viewing Hello Kitty emails with a hangover is just about the worst way to wake up in the morning. Lately, however, just opening the emails with the evil feline inside seems to bring on the same feeling as the worst hangover could. I know for sure that it’s never good to get up in the morning and open up your email to find a Pepto Bismol colored monstrocity like this facing you — the Hello Kitty Polski Fiat:

Here is the difference between a normal person and a Hello Kitty fanatic. While my head is spinning and I feel an intense headache coming on, the only thing I’m thinking is, “Why in the world would anyone want to ride around in something like that?” At the same moment, my wife is cheery as the sun with a huge smile on her face saying, “That is sooooo cute. Don’t you think we should get something like that?” Of course, all this leads me to believe I should have gotten extremely drunk last night if I’m going to have to spend the day feeling like I have an hangover anyway…

The only good thing I can say about this is that the quality seems to give a good representation of how most Hello Kitty goods are made. Apparently in the past cars under licence of the Italian car maker FIAT were manufactured or assembled in Poland. I’m told that these cars are referred to as the Polski Fiat (literally in English: the Polish Fiat) which was considered a Polish car brand.

Sent in by Yocoo who took the photos in Miskolc, Hungary which in itself brings up some disturbing trends: 1) People are actually taking photos for the sole purpose of sending them to me and 2) People all over the world are now sending me random Hello Kitty photos. Of course, both of these in addition to even thinking that it would be a good idea to send me something like this means that she should have to drive around in a car like this for the rest of her life or something similarly as torturous…

Hello Kitty Scion xB Toyota Car

February 25, 2008 by onezero

What’s worse than a car that has been painted with Hello Kitty decals all over the outside? A car that has been Hello Kittified from the inside out like this Hello Kitty Scion xB monstrosity:

The really scary part of this (and the realization that Hello Kitty Hell has progressed way too far) is that it resembles the inside of our house (I know, you don’t have to say anything — ripping out my eyes has had a pleasant and dreamlike fantasy aura for quite some time now). Unfortunately, it’s not a stretch to see that our car will someday look like this. Of course, it will be even worse. My wife is ultimately determined to do both the inside and outside of the car which will double the Hello Kitty horror of the ride, but that’s beside the point because it’s nothing that wouldn’t be expected when you live in Hello Kitty Hell….

Sent in by lisa who should have to ride in something like this for the rest of her life for giving my wife more ideas of what she can do to our car and for even thinking for a second that doing so would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty VW Bug

February 20, 2008 by onezero

I hate receiving emails with photos like this because it will undoubtedly inspire my wife (something that we all know is definitely not needed for any Hello Kitty fanatic). This is exactly what my wife wants to do to our car. It’s bad enough that our car is getting Hello Kittified from the inside out and when I see things like this, I know it’s merely a matter of time before she takes it in for a Hello Kitty paint job:

It will not be long before I’m going to be riding around in something that looks as bad (if not worse — and probably a lot pinker) than this. There is something so completely wrong when a grown man is forced to drive a Hello Kitty car that makes the thought of driving it over a 100 foot cliff and smashing into jagged rocks below a lot less painful than actually being seen around town in it, which pretty much sums up the feeling of living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by tracey who deserves to have to drive around in something like this for the rest of her life for thinking for a single moment that it would be a good idea to send this photo to me…