The title says it all…wait for it…
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Hello Kitty Belly Washers
In her never ending quest to turn the stomach of all sane people while promising rainbows out the back end for her devote followers, Hello Kitty believes that her diabetes inducing soda (Hello Kitty Belly Washers) will somehow wash away all the bad of those who drink it. Far more likely is that it ends up coming right back up the end it originally went down since that is the most common reflex the evil feline warrants in most of us:
Hello Kitty Duct Tape Dress
It didn’t take long for things to get a whole lot worse. After the Hello Kitty duct tape spawned the Hello Kitty duct tape purse, you would think that those of us living in Hello Kitty Hell would get a few days of respite to heal our eyes (and minds) from the hideousness. That, of course, is not how the evil feline rolls. Thus some Hello Kitty fanatic decided against all common sense (and human decency) that a Hello Kitty duct tape dress would somehow be a positive addition to the world:
Hello Kitty Duct Tape Purse
It seemed pretty obvious the second that Hello Kitty duct tape appeared that it was going to spawn some stomach-churning awful ideas. This reality didn’t take long to come to fruition with the Hello Kitty duct tape purse:
Hello Kitty Tights
Obviously, there are far too many Hello Kitty fanatic moms out there with have the sole purpose in their life being to permanently scar their child. There is no other explanation for something like Hello Kitty knitted tights to exist:
Hello Kitty Loves Butthead Pipe
It is a well known fact that Hello Kitty enjoys her drugs (not to mention drug lords). Whether it is Hello Kitty cocaine, Hello Kitty acid or Hello Kitty marijuana, we now know what Hello Kitty enjoys doing when she is taking these drugs with this little memento left on a Hello Kitty pipe — getting it on with Butt Head from Beavis and Butthead:
Hello Kitty Wedding Ring Tattoo
As difficult as it is to imagine, Hello Kitty fanatics have come up with a way to make even the Hello Kitty wedding ring look like it could be a good option. In their never ending drive to make every guy with even an ounce of sanity stay as far away as possible from them, a Hello Kitty fanatic somehow decided that a Hello Kitty finger tattoo in combination with the “always forever” sentiment of a Hello Kitty wedding ring would be a wonderful idea. Even more unfathomable, the Hello Kitty fanatic was able to convince her significant other that this idea wasn’t completely and utterly insane. Thus he has to live with the Hello Kitty wedding ring tattoo for eternity:
Hello Kitty T Shirt Collection
For some unfathomable reason, Hello Kitty fanatics feel that it’s appropriate to send me photos of their Hello Kitty collections. Believe me, opening an email filled with photos of a Hello Kitty collection is probably one of the most hellish things that one can ever experience, especially early in the morning or just after a meal. This Hello Kitty T Shirt collection left me nauseated for the rest of the week:
Hello Kitty Body Paint
It was probably inevitable. Once the Hello Kitty pregnant belly art made an appearance, it was simply a matter of time before someone felt the incomprehensible urge to ruin my day by sending me a full set of Hello Kitty body paint photos. Unfortunately, that day has come:
Hello Kitty Terminator Tattoo
For some reason which I still have not been able to fathom, people feel compelled to ruin my day by sending me photos of their tattoos of the evil feline. It’s as if they believe that their tattoo will somehow convince me that I have somehow misinterpreted my Hello Kitty Hell and all of a sudden I will become a born again Hello Kitty fanatic. The truth is that I simply see another addition to the never ending line of people who will undoubtedly regret their Hello Kitty tattoos. The latest case to perfectly illustrate this is the Hello Kitty terminator tattoo:
