One mans hell with cute overload
If there is anything that you learn in Hello Kitty Hell, it’s that the evil feline loves her drug culture. Between Hello Kitty bongs and Hello Kitty cocaine, you knew that at some point someone would think that something like Hello Kitty sporting 6 tabs of LSD on her tongue tattoo would somehow be a good idea:
If there is one rule of thumb when living with a Hello Kitty fanatic, it is never to leave anything that you value where the Hello Kitty fanatic has access to it. Why you ask? Because if you do, you’ll end up with an Xbox controller that looks like this…
left by eignasan via Twitter who says “My boyfriend will love his improved HK controller when he sees it.”
Update: Apparently Gamecube game controllers are also not immune against being Hello Kittified:
Sent in by Fluff who asks, “Why do girls feel the need to collect all that rubbish? Check out what my gf did to my gamecube controller!”
I have a simple policy of not telling Hello Kitty fanatics where they can get the stuff on this blog. That doesn’t stop those that worship the evil feline from complaining and whining. When they realize that their tantrums have little effect on me, they move onto the next stage of trying to bribe me for the information. One Hello Kitty fanatic was so desperate that she offered to send me naked photos of herself for information on where to get stuff (yeah, like that would go over well with my wife…). The latest of these attempts was this costume — with the claim that this is the best Hello Kitty costume ever:
It’s that time when I list all those updates and posts that didn’t make the front page. If you really want to make 2010 better than 2009, one of the first resolutions that you should make is to stop torturing yourself by looking at all the Hello Kitty crap that exists in the world. That mean leaving this blog right now and doing something massively more productive and beneficial to the world like watching butter melt or grass grow.
And if you happen to be one of those people that are here because you actually like the evil feline, a Hello Kitty detox program would probably be a wonderful New Year’s Resolution for yourself. Just saying…
Hello Kitty Fanatic Significant Other Photo (update)
Hello Kitty Bratz Lady Gaga Dress
Hello Kitty Soldier Cake
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard (update)
Hello Kitty Mouth Mutant
Hello Kitty Wine (update)
Hello Kitty Eye Mask (update)
Hello Kitty Wii (update)
Hello Kitty Dog Holiday Nightmare
Hello Kitty Xmas Tree (update)
Hello Kitty Fanatic Shame
Hello Kitty Christmas Stocking
Hello Kitty Advent Calendar
Hello Kitty Water Dispenser
It’s important to let all those out there who make a special effort to get their Hello Kitty fanatic significant other something that she would like to immediately stop it. It not only puts you deeper into Hello Kitty Hell, it makes it worse for all of us who are desperately trying to escape from it. Case in point, the Hello Kitty Rockband Guitar:
Seriously, if you see something like this on your girlfriend (or she even hints that she wants something like this), it’s a pretty good indication that it’s time to get out of the relationship as quickly as possible (or know that you will subject yourself to intolerable pain living a life in Hello Kitty Hell):
Apparently Bratz doesn’t feel that Barbie should be the only one to get to wear the dress. It really doesn’t make a difference what doll is wearing it. It’s going to give the average non Hello Kitty fanatic nightmares…
Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission)
What should you get a soldier on his birthday? Apparently some people think that a Hello Kitty birthday cake with the evil feline in full combat uniform holding a machine gun is the way to go. Of course, this would include the words that Hello Kitty would undoubtedly be barking out to soldiers in the field if she were in command: “Guts & Drive!”
Sent in by HK Guy (via Artisan Cakes by e.t. – photo used with permission)
Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself:
Sent in by Essi who found them at a flea market at Finland.
What is worse than Lady Gaga dressed in a Hello Kitty plush dress? The thought of a line of Lady Gaga Barbies wearing that Hello Kitty plush dress:
