One mans hell with cute overload
Is it really a surprise if there are seven different Hello Kitty electric guitars that there would also be Hello Kitty acoustic guitars?
Hello Kitty Hell won’t be complete until there is an entire orchestra of Hello Kitty musical instruments, and believe me, if it is possible, my wife will find a way to assemble it…
My wife’s latest Hello Kitty want is a Hello Kitty surfboard:
No, of course she doesn’t know how to surf.
No, of course she doesn’t want to learn to surf.
No, of course she doesn’t want to even consider taking it to the beach (“It might get scratched by the sand.”)
She has determined that it would make a cool wall hanging for a Hello Kitty summer theme room/house decorating. From the sound of her latest talking, it looks like I can expect seasonal themed Hello Kitty Hell to look forward to from now on…
Update: An alternative pattern to put more fear into your summer:
Sent in by Laura
The thing about Hello Kitty Hell is that it will never end. Any normal person would assume that Hello Kitty would eventually run out of new things to stamp her little face on, but that is not how Hello Kitty works. When it becomes difficult to find items that haven’t already been Hello Kittified, there is a simple answer: invent new ones.
WTF?!? A Hello Kitty banana cover? Don’t bananas already come with their own naturally produced covers? That is how any normal person should react upon seeing this Hello Kitty product. Not my wife. “That is soooooo cute. We need some,” was her reaction in typical Hello Kitty Hell fashion.
Having lived in Hello Kitty Hell for a number of years, I have seen my share of completely useless Hello Kitty products. I have to say the Hello Kitty banana cover has to rank not only near the top of totally useless Hello Kitty products invented, but of all products ever invented. That being said, I have no doubt that the Hello Kitty apple and orange covers are already in the works…
Update: You really thought the evil feline could stop at one Hello Kitty banana cover?
Sent in by leslie
I knew this was bound to happen because it is, for lack of a better term, so Hello Kitty Hellish. My wife has been adding Hello Kitty computer accessories left and right: the USB powered Hello Kitty keyboard cleaner, the Hello Kitty USB foot warmers, and the Hello Kitty USB lap warmer — so what is the missing element? To start Hello Kittifying the computer itself. She took a big step in that direction when this arrived in the mail…the Hello Kitty keyboard.
Of course, there is no illusion that the Hello Kitty computer pimping is going to stop here. She is already on the lookout for “the perfect Hello Kitty computer” as well as exploring more Hello Kitty computer accessories to add. Which all points to Hello Kitty Hell moving beyond the current reality and becoming a virtual nightmare in the future…
Update: More Hello Kitty keyboards that would drive most people off the computer for life.
Sent in by stacyl (pink keyboard via number657).
It shouldn’t come as any surprise that if Hello Kitty guitars come in several models and 7 different designs, that there are also a variety of Hello Kitty guitar picks:
I could go on a rant on why my wife needs Hello Kitty guitar picks when she doesn’t play the guitar, but we’ve already been down that path. Suffice to say, it’s one of those Hello Kitty fanatic things that will never make sense to the 99% of us (and if it does make sense to you, this is not something that you should be proud of). The only consolation with this particular collection is that they are small and I don’t have to see them on a daily basis…it’s not a good Hello Kitty Hell sign when you switch from feeling pain with each and every Hello Kitty purchase to where the pain is so intense that you actually feel some relief when the Hello Kitty item purchased is small so you won’t have to see it daily…
These photos were sent in by a number of readers – all of whom should have to listened to my wife play her Hello Kitty guitar…
What’s worse than a Hello Kitty tattoo? How about a Hello Kitty Star Wars combination tattoo:
Not many things leave me speechless in Hello Kitty Hell these days, but this is one that comes close…
Sent by starkitty (via idoru45 created from this painting) who should have to watch Star Wars and Hello Kitty in combination for the rest of her life…
Update: Let The Wookie Win, for some unfathomable reason, thought it would be a good idea to share her Hello Kitty Stormtrooper tattoo with me. The fact that one person has this tattoo is disturbing, but that fact that more than one does is downright scary…
My wife’s friend came by and proudly displayed her new Hello Kitty tattoo. There is nothing worse to a Hello Kitty fanatic than having someone do something that would indicate in any way that they were more of Hello Kitty fan than the fanatic. My wife doesn’t often get jealous when it comes to Hello Kitty (how could she with all this crap she has?), but that wasn’t the case this time. So my wife is now insisting that she needs to get a Hello Kitty tattoo (or more) and is searching for the perfect one at the moment. Unfortunately, there seem to be plenty of Hello Kitty tattoos to choose from:
While the thought of anyone wanting to place Hello Kitty on their skin permanently is disturbing in its own right (wife: “It’s so cute and sexy and a tribute to Hello Kitty”), it also will add another aspect to Hello Kitty Hell. One of the only times that I don’t have to see Hello Kitty is when my wife doesn’t have any clothes on — a tattoo would make Hello Kitty Hell a 24 hour a day ordeal.
Sent in by Whitney
Sent in by Domonique
It is an extremely rare occasion when I’m sent a Hello Kitty photo that actually is appropriate to my plight:
Man, I feel for your situation. I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. While my girlfriend’s obsession isn’t on the same level as your wife’s, it’s enough to let me know the torture that Hello Kitty brings. So I thought you might like this.
Now if I have to have something with Hello Kitty on it, I can’t think of anything more appropriate to represent Hello Kitty Hell than a Hello Kitty barf bag. If my wife does decide to torture me with a consistent menu of Hello Kitty food in the future, when I get sick I can simply say I am filling up the bag with Hello Kitty and the thought of doing something like that brings a smile to my face…
Thanks to Brian who definitely deserves to never have to eat any Hello Kitty food from his girlfriend…
Thus far I have been spared my wife dressing up in Hello Kitty costumes and, as you might well imagine, don’t have any urge to encourage such a hideous idea. It was therefore with extreme disgust I found this in my email this morning:
Now I realize that you look at this photo and simply say “wtf????” because that is the reaction of any normal person. So when a Hello Kitty fanatic begins to tell you how cute the outfit is, basically nothing registers because, quite frankly, your mind can’t fathom that the words reaching your ears could ever be true. At this point you hope that what you are hearing is a dream rather than reality, but soon realize that in Hello Kitty Hell you don’t wake up from nightmares like this…
Since my wife has already expressed fondness for the Hello Kitty Darth Vader, Hello Kitty cosplay is a real danger. Hello Kitty bras, Hello Kitty shoes and Hello Kitty clothes in general are Hello Kitty Hell enough, but if Hello Kitty cosplay comes into being, Hello Kitty Hell is going to be worse than I ever imagined (and believe me, I’ve imagined some pretty horrendous things….)
From reader HKsweet who should have to put on a Hello Kitty cosplay outfit everyday from now on…
Update: More examples to put far more fear into your life than should be permissible:
Sent in by Rebecca
Now that my wife is looking at adding Hello Kitty guitars to her collection, it inevitably leads to Hello Kitty guitar accessories. Since I’ve already mentioned that she doesn’t play, nor has any plans to learn to play, why in Hello Kitty Hell she needs a Hello Kitty guitar amplifier is beyond me (but then again, so are the guitars in the first place):
I guess it really could be worse (wow, I can’t believe those words actually came out of my mouth) – if my wife actually did learn how to play the guitar, I would not only have to listen to her rendition of Hello Kitty songs on them, but also to the hours and hours of her practicing them. It really is a sad day in Hello Kitty Hell when I actually feel myself lucky that it isn’t worse…
update: Because everything sounds worse through a Hello Kitty amplifier, multiple models to produce this awfulness were obviously necessary:
