Hello Kitty Crystal Music Player

It’s not like the world needs another Hello Kitty digital music player, but just because something is not needed doesn’t mean the evil feline won’t sell it. In this case she resorts to her favorite marketing tool that is sure to appeal to all the Hello Kitty fanatics — covering the digital music player with lots and lots of bling in the form of Swarovski crystals. Not only does this keep the fanatic happy, but it also blinds everyone else to the evil that is coming…

Hello Kitty crystal music player

Hello Kitty crystal digital music player

Hello Kitty Swarovski  music player

Sent in by andrea

Hello Kitty Detox Cute and the Beauty Junkies Song

You have to question the sanity of any band that would think it’s a good idea to create a song about Hello Kitty. The fact that the band actually thought it would be a good idea pretty much indicates how it is going to be (for those that are unable to understand hint, that was a warning that you really don’t want to listen to this song if you want to keep your sanity):

You were warned…

Sent in by gina

Hello Kitty Samsung Media Player

My wife already had all kinds of Hello Kitty media gadgets that all do the same thing and most of which she never uses, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to add more to her collection. Her latest want is the Hello Kitty Samsung YP-U5 DAP which ultimately means listening to the Hello Kitty theme song again and again — the ultimate torture in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Samsung media player

Hello Kitty Samsung

Sent in by hilary (via Samsung Hub)

Hello Kitty Guitar Hero Wii Guitar Mod

One would think that the evil feline would be satisfied after convincing guitar makers to sell their souls and produce both Hello Kitty acoustic guitars and Hello Kitty electric guitars (not to mention what happens when people actually play them or even worse, pretend to play them). This, of course, would be greatly underestimating the lengths that she would go to to try and inflict pain on every person possible and neglect the fact that more and more people are playing Guitar Hero these days. If you are a Wii fan and a Guitar Hero fan (actually, this is good advice to anyone that is breathing), just leave now because you don’t want this haunting you for the rest of the year.

Hello Kitty guitar hero wii mod

Sent in by wiifan

Update: You knew there couldn’t just be one:

hello kitty guitar hero guitar

Left in comments by Ryouga (via Flickr)

Hello Kitty Weekly Photo Dump

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:

Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player

And a few photo post updates:

Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Tattoo

Creepy Hello Kitty Lisa Loeb Video

I guess it could have gone without saying since anything that involves Hello Kitty is “creepy” to some extent, but it seems to take on horror film dimensions when a Hello Kitty plush comes to life in the back of a music video. I just sat there watching — waiting for Hello Kitty to produce Alien fangs and suck the life out of Lisa Loeb. Either that or have Hello Kitty begin whacking Lisa Loeb over the head with the guitar until she was slumped in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor. The more I live in Hello Kitty Hell, the more convinced I become that Hello Kitty could be a huge horror movie franchise. Doubt me? Watch the video:

Read moreCreepy Hello Kitty Lisa Loeb Video

Hello Kitty Music CD Hello World

It’s never a good sign when I receive emails from numerous readers about something Hello Kitty, but it’s even worse when the publicity department backing the evil feline also feels that sending me a press release is a positive thing to do. Thus was the case of the new Hello Kitty music CD that has been released with cringe inducing song samples to make you feel like you want to vomit for the rest of the day (warning – don’t listen. You’ll never be the same…):

Read moreHello Kitty Music CD Hello World

Hello Kitty Fanatic Song

I found this in my email box today – an original Hello Kitty fanatic song by Anna Joy. The song pretty much sums up what it’s like living with a Hello Kitty fanatic…

You can listen to the song at The Ugly Trannies Myspace Page (click the “Hello Kitty” on the player – warning: words NSFW)

You will probably have to read the lyrics to be able to understand it all, so here they are:

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty s***
I cannot close my closet door, my drawers just overflow with it
And I will not take it back
I need it more than crack
If I can’t have that pillowcase then I will have a heart attack

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty crap
I go to the Sanrio store and I know full well it’s a trap
‘Cuz it’s just so f****** cute
It’s just so f****** cute
I think that I have pooped my pants
I thought that it was just a toot

Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)
Panties bras and guitars, socks and shoes and t-shirts
(I want it all!)
Sanrio will make sure every last dollar hurts
(I want it all!)

I can’t stop buying all that Hello Kitty junk
It put it all in my backseat because I cannot close my trunk
‘Cuz it’s never enough
No it’s never enough
I’ll tattoo it on my labia
I have to have all of this stuff

Razors tazers lasers lite-brites dildos statues
(I want it all!)
Guns and ammo, crack and smokes and s***** tattoos
(I want it all!)
Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)

I couldn’t quit me all that Hello Kitty crap
So when I sleep outside the kitty store, I sleep in Hello Kitty wrap
‘Cuz I blew all my loot
My landlord gave me the boot
…but don’t you think this garbage can is hella f****** cute??

Posters coasters toasters rugs and mugs and keychains
(I want it all!)
Curtains tampons purses shirts and toys and storm drains
(I want it all!)
Panties bras and guitars, socks and shoes and t-shirts
(I want it all!)
Sanrio will make sure every last dollar hurts
(I want it all!)

It’s never good to start a new week with a Hello Kitty fanatic song, but at least it’s not the original Hello Kitty theme song…(warning, listen at your own risk – I’m telling you right now that you don’t want to click on it…)

I told you…

Hello Kitty Ukulele

It has been well established that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t need to have any use for a Hello Kitty product to still lust after it and decide that they need to add it to their collection. My wife doesn’t play any musical instrument, but that has not stopped her from collecting a small symphony of music related items.

The other day I was digging through our closet looking for my baseball glove (which fortunately, is not something that they currently make in a Hello Kitty pattern at Sanrio, but I have no doubt they are already planning to release a line) when I came across a Hello Kitty ukulele:

Hello Kitty ukulele

Read moreHello Kitty Ukulele

Hello Kitty Balzac Japanese Horror Punk Rock Band

If you had any doubt that no place was safe from the claws of Hello Kitty, that doubt may now be put to rest. Hello Kitty has managed to wriggle her way into a lot of places she isn’t wanted, but I figured there were a few places that would never take to her – like, perhaps, horror punk rock bands. But alas, I have once again underestimated the power that the evil feline possesses:

Hello Kitty Balzac

Read moreHello Kitty Balzac Japanese Horror Punk Rock Band