Hello Kitty Colt Gun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

I think it goes without saying that Hello Kitty has never found a gun she didn’t like. With the number of Hello Kitty guns in existence, the question really should be whether there is a gun model that the evil feline hasn’t put her paws around? You can mark the Colt pistol off the list and add it to her ever expanding armory:

hello kitty colt gun

Sent in by Ashley

Hello Kitty Fishing Reel

One would assume that there were certain sports that would be free of the evil feline such as fishing. of course, this would be greatly underestimating Hello Kitty’s desire to place her face on absolutely everything. No longer can a fisherman request fishing gear as a birthday gift without the risk of something like this being given to them: The Hello Kitty fishing reel.

hello kitty fishing reel

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Hello Kitty Biker Girl

You probably believe that when the end of the world arrives, things are going to get bad. What you don’t realise is just how bad that may be. I have no doubt this is exactly what you will see staring at you — and you will instantly know that there is no hope.

hello kitty biker girl

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Hello Kitty Luxury Water

One would assume that Hello Kitty had covered all the water options ( the Hello Kitty water dispenserHello Kitty regular bottled waterHello Kitty premium bottled waterHello Kitty body shaped mineral waterHello Kitty skin water), but that would be greatly underestimating her ability to find new markets. Apparently, she felt that she was missing the luxury water market:

hello kitty jewelry water

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Bondage Sofa (NSFW)

There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers, Hello Kitty pasties, Hello Kitty handcuff nightmares and the Hello Kitty love hotel all exist, it shouldn’t be a shock that a Hello Kitty bandage sofa exists:

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Hello Kitty Wedding Folder

This came in my email today:

Hi

My fiance is obsessed with hello kitty and subsequently I’ve been reading your site for a while. First it started as some hello kitty pocky, then cuddly toys and has progressed to so called “designer” clothing and jewelry. But now it has reach an all new level of depravity, as I have mentioned she is my fiance and i love her dearly however when planning the wedding she has let slip that she plans to have hello kitty centerpieces and cake, as well as telling me that once the wedding has been paid for she will be buying some of the “super cute” home appliance’s and furniture.

I understand that there is no hope for you but perhaps you can save the rest of us from your fate! Is there a way to stop the spiral in to hello kitty hell?

All the best
Tom

Included with the email were the following photos of his fiance’s wedding folder:

hello kitty wedding folder

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Hello Kitty Melon

One would assume that having the evil feline cut out fruit in the shape of her face and marketing fruit under her own brand (and we aren’t going to even touch the Hello Kitty banana cover) would be enough to satisfy her fruitful dominance cravings, but that, of course, would be highly underestimating what Hello Kitty has in store. She actually wants her face branded into all fruits (hey, if it is good enough for people…) with the Hello Kitty melon as the launching off point:

hello kitty melon gift

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