Hello Kitty Sandwich Ring

The people at Sanrio have gotten to the point that they aren’t even trying anymore. Seriously. The don’t care at all because they know that the fanatics will buy anything. I think they have even reached the point of actively trying to see if they can find anything that Hello Kitty fanatics won’t buy. There really is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty sandwich ring:

Hello Kitty sandwich ring

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Hello Kitty Fanatic

We all instinctively know that Hello Kitty guns are an extremely bad idea. There is no need to show us. In fact, we also know instinctively that if we did see a fanatic with guns that we would cringe in the best case scenario and our brains would be scarred for life in the worst. This photo dramatically shows us the worst case scenario:

hello Kitty fanatic with rifle and hand gun

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Hello Kitty Mummy Costume

While I’m not a big fan of any of the Hello Kitty costumes that are out there, I’m especially horrified with this one. I think that this Hello Kitty mummy cosplay model confirms, without a doubt, that Hello Kitty supports eating disorders:

Hello Kitty Halloween mummy cosplay

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Hello Kitty Halloween Costumes 2011

I knew this was coming. I secretly prayed that it wouldn’t, but the mere fact that the evil feline exists pretty much proves that there is no God. It has become an annual torture fest beginning with Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkins landing in my email, then eventually a Hello Kitty Halloween costume ending up there as well. Although I had tried to mentally prepare myself for horror that would undoubtedly appear, I had no idea what an utterly frightening mess it would be. Judge for yourself:

Hello Kitty sexy Halloween costume

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Hello Kitty Diamonds

One would assume that since Hello Kitty has no mouth that she wouldn’t be able to speak, and thus there wouldn’t be any Hello Kitty quotes that my wife could constantly reference. Of course, that would make way too much sense which is definitely not the way the evil feline works. In fact, she has what would appear to be the most ludicrous quotes in the world to anyone other than a HK fanatic. Take for example, my wife’s favorite Hello Kitty quote:

Hello Kitty diamonds quote think happy thoughts and boys will buy you diamonds!

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Hello Kitty by Swarovski

There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I highly recommend you use common sense and don’t as this will save your mind from losing several IQ points)

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Hello Kitty Glasses

It can never be said that the evil feline doesn’t know how to compliment the atrocities she comes up with. One would have imagined that once the Hello Kitty contacts came out, she had done as much damage as she could with the eyes of Hello Kitty fanatics. Of course, that would underestimate how much Hello Kitty loves to produce atrocities as can plainly be seen with the Hello Kitty glasses:

Hello Kitty eye glasses

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Hello Kitty Duct Tape Dress

It didn’t take long for things to get a whole lot worse. After the Hello Kitty duct tape spawned the Hello Kitty duct tape purse, you would think that those of us living in Hello Kitty Hell would get a few days of respite to heal our eyes (and minds) from the hideousness. That, of course, is not how the evil feline rolls. Thus some Hello Kitty fanatic decided against all common sense (and human decency) that a Hello Kitty duct tape dress would somehow be a positive addition to the world:

Hello Kitty duct tape dress fashion

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