One mans hell with cute overload
If you had any doubt that no place was safe from the claws of Hello Kitty, that doubt may now be put to rest. Hello Kitty has managed to wriggle her way into a lot of places she isn’t wanted, but I figured there were a few places that would never take to her – like, perhaps, horror punk rock bands. But alas, I have once again underestimated the power that the evil feline possesses:
You know that Hello Kitty has Hello Kittified almost everything when Sanrio starts to place the evil feline on things that you can’t even pronounce like the Hello Kitty aneroid sphygmomanometer:
There are some things that arrive in my mailbox that are so out of bounds that I assume that it is a single crazy Hello Kitty fanatic that would do something like that. Take for example, Hello Kitty scarification. While the fact that anyone would do that in the first place is beyond comprehension, being the normal person I am, I assumed it was a one time aberration in the seam of the fabric of life since there was no way that more than one person would ever want to do something like that to herself.
Of course, I once again have greatly underestimated the fanaticism of those that worship Hello Kitty and once again had to jump back in horror when this arrived in my mailbox: Another Hello Kitty scar:
There are certain things that should never be created, and Hello Kitty has more than her fair share of them. You can add the Hello Kitty pedicab to the list:
Just to prove (as if this was something that we really needed) that things can always get worse with Hello Kitty, Japan Vogue has announced the Hello Kitty will be on the cover of the June magazine and will be featured in a photo spread wearing the latest autumn/winter designs from Dior:
You knew that it was merely a matter of time. Was there really any doubt that we would eventually confirm that Hello Kitty is dealing cocaine?
I knew I had another Hello Kitty Hellish day coming when I opened up my email this morning. We already have established that the mixture of Hello Kitty and anything sexy is bound to produce something that is horror movie nightmarish and no matter how hard people try, Hello Kitty doesn’t make you hot and sexy. While Hello Kitty fanatics can’t seem to comprehend this universal truth, the following photo once again proves the point in the worst of ways:
When I mentioned awhile ago that the announcement of Hello Kitty Wold Order pro wresting was a sure sign the apocalypse was now upon us, little did I realize what an understatement that would be as these photos will show:
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
I guess with all the other types of Hello Kitty guns that are out there, it shouldn’t be a surprise that there is also a Hello Kitty shotgun (with Hello Kitty shotgun shells and other various Hello Kitty bullets as well…)
It seems to me that if there was one area that Hello Kitty wouldn’t be able to Hello Kittify everything, it would be the construction business. Of course, the evil feline continues to break any and all boundaries of decency so I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise that there is a Hello Kitty power sander:
