In her never ending quest to be a part of absolutely everything that exists, Hello Kitty has decided to morph into steampunk form:
Hello Kitty Bee Hive
There is something about animals that know when they have been wronged. Just take a look at these cats and you know they are going to be seeking revenge on their owner the first chance that they get. So anyone that thought it would be a good idea to build a Hello Kitty bee hive should have known that the bees would revolt:
Hello Kitty Toaster
I have absolutely no idea why the Hello Kitty toaster is such a popular appliance with Hello Kitty fanatics (quit sending photos of it to me!). There really is nothing that’s more dreadful than having Hello Kitty staring back at you in the morning when you still aren’t awake, especially when it is accompanied by a squeal of “how cute it is” when it is placed before you.
I’ve been avoiding writing anything about it simply because having to stare at Hello Kitty toast each morning pretty much is the limit anyone can take in regards to thinking about it each day:
Hello Kitty Twitter, Hello Kitty Facebook and Hello Kitty Photos
It’s truly beyond me why people that read this blog want me to also post on twitter and facebook since the regular blog posts should be enough to make any normal person go insane, but it’s a request that I get way too often. For your own mental health, I strongly encourage you not to sign up for either, but to keep my email clear of the whining requests, I have gone ahead and done it. If you dare to expose yourself to more torture from the evil feline than any person should endure, you can follow Hello Kitty Hell on twitter and Become a fan of Hello Kitty Hell on facebook.
In addition, I have started a Hello Kitty photo section so that 1) I don’t have to receive the same photos again and again and 2) Hello Kitty whiners will stop emailing me the same photos yet again (after sending them again and again) asking me why I don’t place the photos that they send again and again to me up. This section will be the photo dump area where you should only venture when you feel the need to inflict vast amounts of pain on yourself. For example, this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump includes:
Hello Kitty High Heel Shoe Phone
Hello Kitty Smart Car
Hello Kitty Belly Dancer
Hello Kitty Pregnant Cake
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker Toaster Oven
Welcome to a glimpse of my Hello Kitty Hell…
Hello Kitty Lip Tattoo
A perfectly normal response to something that seems incomprehensible would be “wtf — why would someone do that?” I know that I have lived in Hello Kitty Hell far too long because when the Hello Kitty lip tattoo ended up in my email box, my reaction was not “wtf — why?” but a resigned “I’m surprised someone didn’t do this sooner…”
Hello Kitty Doctor's Office
I already have plenty of Hello Kitty nightmares to keep me occupied at night, so there is definitely no need for another one like the Hello Kitty doctor’s office:
Hello Kitty Hell Pen
Hmmmmmm. I’m not sure if Hello Kitty finally revealed her true self to the world and I was correct or if Sanrio has seen fit to develop a new Hello Kitty line about my blog in their never ending quest to Hello Kittify everything:
Hello Kitty Hell Emails
More random Hello Kitty emails that found their way to me recently:
This HK Guitar showed up at my house as a gift. Is it from all of the kind comment people on HK Hell, or the disapproving ones who would like me to plug the guitar in with my feet wet?
Or did MELLY send it to me? She has my PIN number.
Thank You, HKH, Jeanne, Monterey Bay, California
By the look on her face, that cat still hasn’t forgiven you…
Hello Kitty Major League Baseball Punishment
More and more people are coming to the realization that if you really want to both punish and humiliate someone, simply force them to wear Hello Kitty. This worked wonders for the Thai police who tagged under-performing officers with a Hello Kitty armband of shame. It appears that major league baseball players have adopted a similar approach with the Hello Kitty backpack of shame:
Hello Kitty Spam Sushi
There are certainly enough Hello Kitty goods to make anyone instantly say wtf. In fact, they are so plentiful that most people would assume that Hello Kitty must have exhausted her wtf quota, but this assumption would leave you sorely mistaken. There really isn’t any other way to react to the fact that Hello Kitty Spam sushi exists:
