One mans hell with cute overload
It became obvious long ago that despite the the innocent persona that Hello Kitty tries to cultivate, she has a lot of sex on her mind. There is no other reason that the people at Sanrio revived the Hello Kitty vibrator or that they would allow a campaign like this. This is not to mention the Hello Kitty bondage hotel or the Hello Kitty S&M flogger (I could go on, but I think you get the point). So is it really much of a surprise that there is a Hello Kitty latex bed?
More proof that the entire world is going to Hello Kitty Hell. You know that all is not right in the world when the the evil feline is prominently displayed in the gift shop of the supposed bastion of high art. I guess I won’t be traveling to the Louvre Museum anytime soon:
Sent in by Janet who says “This is the gift shop at the Louvre Museum! Even my 6 year old was unimpressed.”
Apparently the Last Supper painting had a slight flaw in the eyes of the evil feline — basically, she was left out of it:
There is never a good reason for anyone to ever have to listen to the Hello Kitty theme song (besides possibly terrorist interrogation). Despite this, not listening to the Hello Kitty theme song is not a realistic possibility if you live with a Hello Kitty fanatic. I guess if one must listen to it, there should be, at the very minimum, a quality ending.
Sent in by James
You would think that Hello Kitty fanatics would have learned that there are just certain Hello Kitty combinations that should never be put together, but then that would be giving the Hello Kitty fanatics the benefit of actually possessing common sense. Those that follow the evil feline show time and again that they are willing to ink virtually anything on themselves with the obvious horrifying results. The latest addition to this terrifying display is the Hello Kitty Joker tattoo:
With Easter just around the corner, it is important for Hello Kitty fanatics to set the record straight about who your savior is. While you may think that it was Jesus Christ that died on the cross for your sins, you’d be wrong. It was the evil feline herself and that is why you should be worshipping her and displaying your devotion for her sacrifice for you:
My wife decided to download a bunch of Hello Kitty coloring pages the other day (I’m still debating whether this is better or worse than her buying a Hello Kitty coloring book) and told me that I should practice so that I can color them with my nieces when they come to visit. This, of course, made for a very difficult dilemma. Should I color the Hello Kitty coloring pages like my wife expected me to, or should I color the Hello Kitty coloring pages the way that they actually should be colored?
The issue with Hello Kitty baby stuff is that there is actually some unfortunate baby in the world that has to wear and be surrounded by it because, for some unfathomable reason, the parent worshipping the evil feline thinks that it is cute. Now, this baby will likely seek unimaginable revenge upon the offending parent for doing this to her when she is old enough to realize the child abuse that had been thrust upon her (unfortunately, I also must say “or him” — the sad fact is that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t really care). In their early formative years, however, they are absolutely defenseless to the torturous indoctrination. Skeptical? This is what happens to a baby that ends up with a Hello Kitty fanatic that has access to Hello Kitty baby stuff:
It’s not often that the week ends on a positive note when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, but sometimes there is a tiny ray of light that shines through all the darkness and brings a smile to my face. This is especially true when you realize that you are not alone in your fight against the horrors of the evil feline. Apparently Hagar the Horrible shares my feelings on how Hello Kitty should be treated. Enjoy:
Sent in by many via Neil Cameron
