Hello Kitty – Page 33 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Beauty Pageant

October 26, 2009 by onezero

The thing that I fear most in Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I have kids. It’s an absolutely no win situation, first and foremost, because she will want to have the baby conceived in a Hello Kitty bondage room and delivered in a Hello Kitty maternity ward. If it’s a baby boy, he’s going to have to grow up dealing with Hello Kitty all around. If it’s a baby girl, well, suffice to say that all Hello Kitty Hell will break loose and my current situation will seem mild by comparison. That’s because things like Hello Kitty beauty pageants for kids exist:

Hello Kitty Three Apples Fashion

October 25, 2009 by onezero

A few more reasons that my sanity is happy that I was able to avoid the entire Three Apples art exhibit and 35th anniversary celebration in person — There was no doubt that the Hello Kitty fanatics would be out in droves with their corresponding hideous Hello Kitty fashion outfits:

Left on twitter by aminerat (via laweekly)

Hello Kitty Halloween Tattoo

October 25, 2009 by onezero

I have reached the point that I no longer even try to understand why Hello Kitty fanatics choose to ink the stuff they do on themselves. Despite the fact that nobody in the right mind would ever want to see it, I guess that with Halloween so close to the evil feline’s birthday that it had to happen — the Hello Kitty Halloween tattoo:

Sent in by josie

Hello Kitty Roller Coaster

October 24, 2009 by onezero

I’m really not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that Hello Kitty roller coasters even exist or that a grown male would insist on sitting in the front of one…

Sent in by kristy

Hello Kitty Crystal Music Player

October 23, 2009 by onezero

It’s not like the world needs another Hello Kitty digital music player, but just because something is not needed doesn’t mean the evil feline won’t sell it. In this case she resorts to her favorite marketing tool that is sure to appeal to all the Hello Kitty fanatics — covering the digital music player with lots and lots of bling in the form of Swarovski crystals. Not only does this keep the fanatic happy, but it also blinds everyone else to the evil that is coming…

Hello Kitty crystal digital music player

Sent in by andrea

Hello Kitty Sid Vicious Sex Pistols Mural

October 23, 2009 by onezero

The evil feline has no shame. It was obvious that the entire Three Apples 35th Anniversary celebration was going to be Pepto Bismol pink Hell from the beginning, and the appearance of Paris Hilton made things that much worse. Now that photos from the event are being sent to me left and right (seriously folks, I’ve already seen far more than I ever want to see of this event), this travesty shows that Hello Kitty will try to brand herself to absolutely anything — there is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty Sid Vicious mural:

Hello Kitty Sid Vicious Sex Pistols Mural

Hello Kitty Paris Hilton Three Apples

October 23, 2009 by onezero

As if there weren’t already 100 reasons not to attend the Three Apples Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary ~~gala~~ torture chamber, the fact that Paris Hilton showed up pretty much ensured that the whole event would have been unbearably painful:

Hello Kitty Munster Tattoo

October 23, 2009 by onezero

Although the question “why?” is always a constant when it comes to the evil feline and the tattoos that people decide to get of her, sometimes that isn’t even enough. The Hello Kitty Munster tattoo certainly qualifies as the latter:

Sent in by Rachael

Hello Kitty Car Window Decal

October 22, 2009 by onezero

It has always seemed that Hello Kitty has been subtly letting me know how she feels about me. While my wife insists that the 1974 pose is Hello Kitty sucking her finger, it seems that she is doing something a little different with her middle finger to me. Well, it turns out that the evil feline has decided to end the subtleties and let everyone know exactly how she feels about them. Welcome the true feelings Hello Kitty has for you:

Sent in by drekls

Hello Kitty Handbag Fashion Show

October 22, 2009 by onezero

I have no doubt that having to sit through a Hello Kitty fashion show would constitute torture to any civilized nation and most people would consider the death penalty appropriate for anyone that actually put one on (miraculously, this is one experience I have yet to endure although my wife still has it on the top of her list of things to do). The fact that they now have fashion shows exclusively for Hello Kitty handbags pretty much shows that the world is in far worse dire straights than anyone imagined: