One mans hell with cute overload
It’s bad enough when photos arrive in my mailbox that are products branded with Hello Kitty, but it’s even worse when I get a random Hello Kitty photo that I have absolutely no idea what it’s all about (and am too frightened to even imagine what’s going on):
I will be out of town for the first two weeks of April and I’m probably not going to have access to the Internet during that time to update this blog. I’m looking for someone to volunteer to take over during that time. If you feel that you can carry the Hello Kitty Hell banner while I’m away, please send me an email letting me know why you would be a good candidate for the job…
While I don’t condone any product displaying the Hello Kitty brand, if I did have to choose one, the Hello Kitty rectal thermometer would certainly be in the running:
It’s not often that I’m torn when it comes to anything Hello Kitty. The fact that Hello Kitty Easter eggs exist pretty much proves that Hello Kitty Hell has already invaded every possible holiday rendering them all times of torture. So it would be nothing out of the ordinary for me to react to Hello Kitty Easter eggs with the typical disgust I do with most things by the evil feline. But there is something that made me smile as it tickled my sense of justice when Hello Kitty Easter eggs were forced to witness the massacre of other Hello Kitty Easter eggs:
A photo set in which we created Hello Kitty Easter eggs, then ate them and made the remaining eggs stare at the resulting colorful carnage. I thought you might find it amusing, at the very least.
While the Hello Kitty vibrator pretty much put to rest any doubt that Sanrio wanted to expand beyond kids, the recent collaborative between Hello Kitty and Aki Hoshino pretty much continues along these lines. For those unfamiliar, Aki Hoshino is a Japanese bikini model that has turned that into a b-list TV career:
Not known for much else but the massive amount of flesh on her chest, Hello Kitty has embraced her with a new T-shirt line:
They just keep coming. Hello Kitty alone is reprehensible enough, but placing her on your skin with other supposedly “cute” characters just takes things to a whole new disastrous level as can be seen in this Hello Kitty Pikachu tattoo:
Today, two confounded IT technicians wandered into my office and handed me a drawer from the new rack that they were installing. Printed on the circuit board was….
I cringed with despair when people started to make Hello Kitty computer mods. This sickness only increased as manufacturers began rolling out mass produced Hello Kitty laptops (and another and another), but I figured that it had to end there. Seriously, what else could Hello Kitty really do? But, alas, as has been well established here in Hello Kitty Hell, the evil feline can always do more. For those of you not yet thoroughly convinced that Hello Kitty plans to place her face on every single product in the world, I present the Hello Kitty circuit board.
It is depressing the sheer number of Hello Kitty tattoos that exist out there and doubly depressing that so many people have an uncontrollable urge to share them with me.
