One mans hell with cute overload
It became obvious long ago that despite the the innocent persona that Hello Kitty tries to cultivate, she has a lot of sex on her mind. There is no other reason that the people at Sanrio revived the Hello Kitty vibrator or that they would allow a campaign like this. This is not to mention the Hello Kitty bondage hotel or the Hello Kitty S&M flogger (I could go on, but I think you get the point). So is it really much of a surprise that there is a Hello Kitty latex bed?
Apparently the Last Supper painting had a slight flaw in the eyes of the evil feline — basically, she was left out of it:
You would think that Hello Kitty fanatics would have learned that there are just certain Hello Kitty combinations that should never be put together, but then that would be giving the Hello Kitty fanatics the benefit of actually possessing common sense. Those that follow the evil feline show time and again that they are willing to ink virtually anything on themselves with the obvious horrifying results. The latest addition to this terrifying display is the Hello Kitty Joker tattoo:
With Easter just around the corner, it is important for Hello Kitty fanatics to set the record straight about who your savior is. While you may think that it was Jesus Christ that died on the cross for your sins, you’d be wrong. It was the evil feline herself and that is why you should be worshipping her and displaying your devotion for her sacrifice for you:
It’s not often that the week ends on a positive note when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, but sometimes there is a tiny ray of light that shines through all the darkness and brings a smile to my face. This is especially true when you realize that you are not alone in your fight against the horrors of the evil feline. Apparently Hagar the Horrible shares my feelings on how Hello Kitty should be treated. Enjoy:
Sent in by many via Neil Cameron
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
It has been more than obvious for some time now that Hello Kitty loves her guns. It has also become glaringly obvious that the evil feline expects that she is going to need all the weaponry that she can possibly get her hands on when making that final push to take over the world. To add to her ever increasing stash, she now has the Hello Kitty rotary gun (with matching Hello Kitty helmet and Hello Kitty ammo case just for good measure)
Once again proving that there is nothing that the evil feline isn’t willing to try and buy her way into, this is undoubtedly what Sanrio would like the Olympic rings for Sochi and beyond to look like:
There really should be a law that prohibits the combination of Hello Kitty and rings which should have been evident from the Hello Kitty wedding rings. Of course, the evil feline would never let the horror stop there. Case in point — another hideous left-over from the Three Apples event which should obviously die a fiery death, but people keep insisting on sending me: The Hello Kitty bow ring.
I guess Hello Kitty fanatics like the boxing glove look (although I must admit that simply seeing this makes me want to punch something)…
Sent in by far too many people who obviously have way too much time on their hands and are clinically blind.
Life gives you a very different perspective on gadgets when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. While most people crave the latest and greatest electronic toys out there, those that share their lives with fanatics of Hello Kitty live in fear with each new popular gadget that hits the stores. This is because we know that it’s only a matter of time before that popular gadget comes in Pepto Bismol pink covered with the evil feline.
I already hate cell phones in general because of what my wife does to them. When we lived in Japan, I avoided having to live with a Hello Kitty iPhone because there were so many other cell phones that were superior to it there that my wife wanted, but now that we are back in the US, my wife is insisting that she needs an iPhone. I have no doubt that this is what it is going to ultimately look like:
