Strange

Hello Kitty Beauty Pageant

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The thing that I fear most in Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I have kids. It’s an absolutely no win situation, first and foremost, because she will want to have the baby conceived in a Hello Kitty bondage room and delivered in a Hello Kitty maternity ward. If it’s a baby boy, he’s going to have to grow up dealing with Hello Kitty all around. If it’s a baby girl, well, suffice to say that all Hello Kitty Hell will break loose and my current situation will seem mild by comparison. That’s because things like Hello Kitty beauty pageants for kids exist:

Hello Kitty beauty pageant

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Hello Kitty Three Apples Fashion

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A few more reasons that my sanity is happy that I was able to avoid the entire Three Apples art exhibit and 35th anniversary celebration in person — There was no doubt that the Hello Kitty fanatics would be out in droves with their corresponding hideous Hello Kitty fashion outfits:

Hello Kitty fashion

Hello Kitty fashion at three apples

Hello Kitty three apples fashion

Left on twitter by aminerat (via laweekly)

Hello Kitty Sid Vicious Sex Pistols Mural

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The evil feline has no shame. It was obvious that the entire Three Apples 35th Anniversary celebration was going to be Pepto Bismol pink Hell from the beginning, and the appearance of Paris Hilton made things that much worse. Now that photos from the event are being sent to me left and right (seriously folks, I’ve already seen far more than I ever want to see of this event), this travesty shows that Hello Kitty will try to brand herself to absolutely anything — there is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty Sid Vicious mural:

Hello Kitty Sid Vicious Sex Pistols Mural

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Hello Kitty Car Window Decal

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It has always seemed that Hello Kitty has been subtly letting me know how she feels about me. While my wife insists that the 1974 pose is Hello Kitty sucking her finger, it seems that she is doing something a little different with her middle finger to me. Well, it turns out that the evil feline has decided to end the subtleties and let everyone know exactly how she feels about them. Welcome the true feelings Hello Kitty has for you:

Hello Kitty window decal

Sent in by drekls

Hello Kitty Pokemon Fetish (nsfw – or your sanity)

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One would imagine that it really couldn’t get worse than the Hello Kitty fetish underwear, but then that would be highly underestimating the evil feline. Long after any normal person would stop and say, “Okay, this really has gone way too far,” Hello kitty is looking for ways to stretch the bounds of human reason to the point that we all just give up and accept her as our overlord so that she will just stop. If stretching these bounds requires a little help from Pokemon, so be it. As I have said it on many occasions before, you are better off leaving and enjoying the rest of your day because you can’t unsee the image and it will haunt you – you have been warned:

Hello Kitty pokemon fetish

See, I told you…

Sent in by Physalis

Hello Kitty Hello Kitty

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It pains me greatly to have to write the evil feline’s name each time I make a new post on this blog. The simple fact that I had to type Hello Kitty twice for the title of this post should be enough to warn you that what you are about to see isn’t going to be pretty — Hello Kitty made out of Hello Kitty goods:

Hello Kitty Hello Kitty

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Hello Kitty Burqa

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In yet another example that this Hello Kitty 35th anniversary celebration has gone way past the point of sanity, Sanrio invited Portuguese fashion designer Maria Gambina to create a unique fashion piece – the results being the Hello Kitty burqa:

Hello Kitty Burqa

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Hello Kitty Debit Card

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If you ever end up living with a fanatic of the evil feline, take a small piece of advice that will save you countless instances of humiliation from both friends and strangers. Never, ever, get a joint bank account with a Hello Kitty fanatic. This may seem like advice you can ignore, but you’ll quickly regret not following it when one day the face personalised Hello Kitty debit card ends up at your house:

Hello Kitty debit card

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