One mans hell with cute overload
I know it’s going to be an extra special Hello Kitty Hell day when my wife comes into the room with a bright, shining smile and announces that Hello Kitty sushi (which pretty much ranks up there on the nausea scale with Hello Kitty bento) will be something I should be looking forward to trying next week:
There are many things wrong in the Hello Kitty universe which is readily apparent by simply going through a few posts on this blog, but there are some that are worse than others. I categorize the Hello Kitty tongue stud as one of these:
It probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise that I don’t get the popularity of the whole Hello Kitty tattoo thing. You would think that once someone sobered up after getting a Hello Kitty tattoo, they would pretty much have it out of their system (as the beat themselves over the head for being so stupid), but I guess I just don’t get Hello Kitty fanatics (wow, big surprise there). It appears that a Hello Kitty forehead tattoo wasn’t enough for this guy (then again, a Hello Kitty tattoo inked squarely in the middle of your forehead pretty much already signifies that you take the evil feline a bit too seriously), so why not add a Hello Kitty brand scar as well:
It’s bad enough when your girlfriend encourages you to dress up in Hello Kitty stuff (same guy as in the photos below) and humiliate yourself, but you know you’ve reached new depths of horror when you begin to see Hello Kitty even when the evil feline is not there. Case in point – the Hello Kitty bruise:
Everyone gets bruises and there is nothing special about this one you would assume unless you happen to be dating a Hello Kitty fanatic:
She would encourage you to take out a pen and fill in the blanks until — tada — you have a Hello Kitty bruise:
Sometimes when I see new Hello Kitty products, I think that Sanrio must actually be running out of things to Hello Kittify since there is no other explanation as to why some of these things are made. That, and the overwhelming focus that it’s never too early to indoctrinate the child masses into the Sanrio cult, is why you have products like Hello Kitty Baby perfume:
Mornings are never a good time of the day in Hello Kitty Hell since I never know what Hello Kitty themed food might show up in front of me. To combat this, I usually get a cup of coffee and sip it while reading the newspaper to prepare myself for what Hello Kitty food may appear before me. Until this week I always assumed that my coffee would be evil feline free. That is no longer the case since my wife has seen this photo and has set her sight on perfecting Hello Kitty coffee:
I know there is no longer any doubt that Hello Kitty is determined to Hello Kittify every object possible, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to find a Hello Kitty welder’s helmet:
It’s bad enough when Hello Kitty fanatics decide to dress up as Hello Kitty (here is far more proof than anyone in their right mind would ever want to see if you need any), but by far the worst part is when the Hello Kitty fanatic decides that the significant other must also participate (see photo of horror photo 1, photo 2 and photo 3 and realize what a wonderful life you have compared to these poor guys) as part of the costume. Here is another poor soul that you can add to that list that is forced to humiliate himself at the bidding of his wife (oh, how I know how he feels…):
You knew that it would eventually happen. If a Hello Kitty motorcycle exists, it was only a matter of time for the Hello Kitty motorcycle racing leathers to appear:
Just when I have about given up hope in Hello Kitty Hell, a photo arrives in my email box that brings a smile to my face. Let’s here a big round of applause for the Hello Kitty pincushion:
