One mans hell with cute overload
Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:
Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Tattoo
The truth finally slips out in a 35th Anniversary Mad Scientist display in Macau. Called Hello Kitty Evolution, we see the way that the evil feline spreads her paws to Kittify one place after another (click on image to enlarge):
I guess the Hello Kitty tongue stud and the Hello Kitty lip tattoo weren’t the only oral fixations the evil feline has when branding herself on others. Apparently it’s also important for her to exist as a Hello Kitty tongue tattoo:
It’s always an adventure (to put it diplomatically) when walking with a Hello Kitty fanatic. Usually they look at my wife, then look at me bravely smiling and give that sympathetic look — tears beginning to well up in their eyes at the pure injustice of it all — which is reserved for the truly unfortunate beings of the world; small kids starving in Africa and me.
Then there are the times when I am forced out on my own with some Hello Kitty item in hand and have to face the unapproving wrath reserved for serial killers and terrorists on the nation’s most wanted list.
So when Not That Kind of Girl decided to parade around as a Hello Kitty fanatic as an experiment, I instantly felt sympathy for her.
You would think that one Hello Kitty computer would be able to satisfy the Hello Kitty masses, but that seems to be far from reality. There are far too many Hello Kitty computers in existence to feel positive about the future of the world we live in (from special occasion Hello Kitty computers to Hello Kitty computer mods). Add yet another one of these to the list of pink hellishness with the Hello Kitty MiNew A10 nettop computer:
My wife has already pimped out our car with a Hello Kitty steering wheel cover which I assumed was as bad as the steering wheel area was going to get, but that was before the Hello Kitty steering wheel mod landed in my email box:
I would much prefer to not get anything Hello Kitty emailed to me, but if it is going to happen, artwork that shows the true side of the evil feline is much better than the sickly sweet stuff that makes up most of what crosses my path. I would have to say the Hello Kitty demon is one of those pieces of artwork that shows what’s really under that “cute” exterior:
I received the following question in my email the other day:
What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?
“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, let’s not even go there. I guess my life has become so Hello Kittified that I have a hard time distinguishing between Hello Kitty bad, Hello Kitty worse and Hello Kitty worst. So here’s a challenge/question – what are the top three worst Hello Kitty items I have listed on this blog (yes, I know there are a number of items even worse that I have not listed, but I try to keep this blog semi family safe) and why do you think so?
I’m hoping that some of you will be able to put together a rational explanation that I can give to my wife to show her that some of this crap is downright crazy — all while not getting me sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know. It isn’t going to work, but I have found that deluding myself that there is hope of one day escaping from Hello Kitty Hell makes the Hello Kitty toast and coffee go down easier in the morning…
Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump:
Hello Kitty DragonCon Pasties Nightmare
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
Hello Kitty Minivan
Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Laptop
Hello Kitty Robot
Hello Kitty Bed
Hello Kitty Rain Boots
Hello Kitty Knife
Hello Kitty Pink Room
Hello Kitty Cutting Board
Hello Kitty Mascot Costumes
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Bra Shop
Hello Kitty Anime
Hello Kitty Bar
Hello Kitty sandwich
For most people that want a home, the dream is to have a little house with a white picket fence. The Hello Kitty fanatic, on the other hand, has a dream (and a nightmare to their partners) of a Hello Kitty house with pink Hello Kitty picket fence.
Hello Kitty, not satisfied to have Hello Kitty body shaped drinks, wants to have her face on all the popular soda drinks as well. While I’m sure that the people at Sanrio are looking into ways to actually create a Hello Kitty Coke and a Hello Kitty Pepsi, until that can be worked out they have decided to simply stamp the evil feline’s face onto the popular soda cans and make necklaces out of them:
