Hello Kitty tattoos are bad. Hello Kitty food is bad. So it makes perfect sense that a Hello Kitty fanatic would combine the two to produce something awful like the Hello Kitty cupcake tattoo:
Hello Kitty Sushi
I know it’s going to be an extra special Hello Kitty Hell day when my wife comes into the room with a bright, shining smile and announces that Hello Kitty sushi (which pretty much ranks up there on the nausea scale with Hello Kitty bento) will be something I should be looking forward to trying next week:
Tongue Stud
There are many things wrong in the Hello Kitty universe which is readily apparent by simply going through a few posts on this blog, but there are some that are worse than others. I categorize the Hello Kitty tongue stud as one of these:
Hello Kitty Brand Scar
It probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise that I don’t get the popularity of the whole Hello Kitty tattoo thing. You would think that once someone sobered up after getting a Hello Kitty tattoo, they would pretty much have it out of their system (as the beat themselves over the head for being so stupid), but I guess I just don’t get Hello Kitty fanatics (wow, big surprise there). It appears that a Hello Kitty forehead tattoo wasn’t enough for this guy (then again, a Hello Kitty tattoo inked squarely in the middle of your forehead pretty much already signifies that you take the evil feline a bit too seriously), so why not add a Hello Kitty brand scar as well:
Hello Kitty Bruise?
It’s bad enough when your girlfriend encourages you to dress up in Hello Kitty stuff (same guy as in the photos below) and humiliate yourself, but you know you’ve reached new depths of horror when you begin to see Hello Kitty even when the evil feline is not there. Case in point – the Hello Kitty bruise:
Everyone gets bruises and there is nothing special about this one you would assume unless you happen to be dating a Hello Kitty fanatic:
She would encourage you to take out a pen and fill in the blanks until — tada — you have a Hello Kitty bruise:
Hello Kitty Baby Perfume
Sometimes when I see new Hello Kitty products, I think that Sanrio must actually be running out of things to Hello Kittify since there is no other explanation as to why some of these things are made. That, and the overwhelming focus that it’s never too early to indoctrinate the child masses into the Sanrio cult, is why you have products like Hello Kitty Baby perfume:
Hello Kitty Coffee
Mornings are never a good time of the day in Hello Kitty Hell since I never know what Hello Kitty themed food might show up in front of me. To combat this, I usually get a cup of coffee and sip it while reading the newspaper to prepare myself for what Hello Kitty food may appear before me. Until this week I always assumed that my coffee would be evil feline free. That is no longer the case since my wife has seen this photo and has set her sight on perfecting Hello Kitty coffee:
Welding Helmet Mask
I know there is no longer any doubt that Hello Kitty is determined to Hello Kittify every object possible, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to find a Hello Kitty welder’s helmet:
Love Advice
Maybe I’ll soon get my own love column because of my outstanding, well contemplated and accurate love advice to this email that was recently sent to me:
Ohayo!
Could use your input and suggestions here. I’m living in Japan, and I recently started dating a beautiful young lady. Good times, fun conversation, and blah blah blah.
BUT! Last weekend we decided to visit the local Jusco to look for a book that I wanted. Half way to my goal, I suddenly feel a tug on my arm and hear a quiet “eeeeeh”. When I look over I see the Hello Kitty section of the department store, and her with a rapturous look on her face. This is when I learned about her secret obsession. Pretty sure it took her about 30 minutes to touch every item. Yes, every item. I’d understand if she had an OCD, but it was a little creepy seeing her walking up to the Kitty-chan display and lightly touching every single product.
After going through this ritual, she revisited three displays several items… saying “kawaii” under her breath at each. I finally offered to buy her one item for each book that I bought, just to get her moving. Ended up being two, for the record.
So, knowing that you have some experience with this, what are your thoughts? Is this something that I can deal with? Should I be worried? Scared? Hit the eject button and bail out before this becomes a serious relationship? Any words of wisdom will be seriously considered.
Ja!
– Kowai BF
My simple word of wisdom: Run!
Costume – Photo of Horror 4
It’s bad enough when Hello Kitty fanatics decide to dress up as Hello Kitty (here is far more proof than anyone in their right mind would ever want to see if you need any), but by far the worst part is when the Hello Kitty fanatic decides that the significant other must also participate (see photo of horror photo 1, photo 2 and photo 3 and realize what a wonderful life you have compared to these poor guys) as part of the costume. Here is another poor soul that you can add to that list that is forced to humiliate himself at the bidding of his wife (oh, how I know how he feels…):
