One mans hell with cute overload
The biggest problem with posting any type of food on this blog (such as yesterday’s Hello Kitty pretzels) is that Hello Kitty fanatics feel it’s somehow their duty in life to send me more Hello Kitty food atrocities. Thus I have things like Hello Kitty gingerbread raisin cookies show up to ensure that I continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell and fear every type of food out there.
If you live in Hello Kitty Hell, you quickly learn that it is never a good idea to mention Hello Kitty and a food product in the same sentence. If you do, the result is often quite unfortunate and you end up with things like Hello Kitty pretzels in front of you:
In her never ending quest to turn the stomach of all sane people while promising rainbows out the back end for her devote followers, Hello Kitty believes that her diabetes inducing soda (Hello Kitty Belly Washers) will somehow wash away all the bad of those who drink it. Far more likely is that it ends up coming right back up the end it originally went down since that is the most common reflex the evil feline warrants in most of us:
It didn’t take long for things to get a whole lot worse. After the Hello Kitty duct tape spawned the Hello Kitty duct tape purse, you would think that those of us living in Hello Kitty Hell would get a few days of respite to heal our eyes (and minds) from the hideousness. That, of course, is not how the evil feline rolls. Thus some Hello Kitty fanatic decided against all common sense (and human decency) that a Hello Kitty duct tape dress would somehow be a positive addition to the world:
It seemed pretty obvious the second that Hello Kitty duct tape appeared that it was going to spawn some stomach-churning awful ideas. This reality didn’t take long to come to fruition with the Hello Kitty duct tape purse:
Obviously, there are far too many Hello Kitty fanatic moms out there with have the sole purpose in their life being to permanently scar their child. There is no other explanation for something like Hello Kitty knitted tights to exist:
It is a well known fact that Hello Kitty enjoys her drugs (not to mention drug lords). Whether it is Hello Kitty cocaine, Hello Kitty acid or Hello Kitty marijuana, we now know what Hello Kitty enjoys doing when she is taking these drugs with this little memento left on a Hello Kitty pipe — getting it on with Butt Head from Beavis and Butthead:
As difficult as it is to imagine, Hello Kitty fanatics have come up with a way to make even the Hello Kitty wedding ring look like it could be a good option. In their never ending drive to make every guy with even an ounce of sanity stay as far away as possible from them, a Hello Kitty fanatic somehow decided that a Hello Kitty finger tattoo in combination with the “always forever” sentiment of a Hello Kitty wedding ring would be a wonderful idea. Even more unfathomable, the Hello Kitty fanatic was able to convince her significant other that this idea wasn’t completely and utterly insane. Thus he has to live with the Hello Kitty wedding ring tattoo for eternity:
