I have no doubt that having to sit through a Hello Kitty fashion show would constitute torture to any civilized nation and most people would consider the death penalty appropriate for anyone that actually put one on (miraculously, this is one experience I have yet to endure although my wife still has it on the top of her list of things to do). The fact that they now have fashion shows exclusively for Hello Kitty handbags pretty much shows that the world is in far worse dire straights than anyone imagined:
Year: 2009
Hello Kitty Sig Sauer p226 Gun
Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:
Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.
And onto the original post…
As I have said time and again, Hello Kitty loves her guns…
Sent in by gunlovr
How To Make a Hello Kitty Mascot Head
They really don’t celebrate Halloween in Japan, but that doesn’t stop my wife from doing her best to bring the evil feline into the holiday anyway. The one thing that she absolutely hates is that she can’t dress up in a Hello Kitty costume like she sees so many people do in the US, but since this guide on how to create your own Hello Kitty mascot head landed in my mailbox, she’s been strongly hinting that we need to join some of the US Halloween party celebrations in costume. Yet one more thing to worry about in Hello Kitty Hell…
Sent in by tauney (via instructables)
Hello Kitty Detox Cute and the Beauty Junkies Song
You have to question the sanity of any band that would think it’s a good idea to create a song about Hello Kitty. The fact that the band actually thought it would be a good idea pretty much indicates how it is going to be (for those that are unable to understand hint, that was a warning that you really don’t want to listen to this song if you want to keep your sanity):
You were warned…
Sent in by gina
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
I hate my birthday. It’s not that I care that I am getting a year older, but the fear each year of what my wife will do to celebrate it. It’s never a pretty sight and no matter how much I protest, she manages to slip the evil feline into the celebration in some way. The truth is that what she would really like to do is throw me a party like this:
Hello Kitty Pokemon Fetish (nsfw – or your sanity)
One would imagine that it really couldn’t get worse than the Hello Kitty fetish underwear, but then that would be highly underestimating the evil feline. Long after any normal person would stop and say, “Okay, this really has gone way too far,” Hello kitty is looking for ways to stretch the bounds of human reason to the point that we all just give up and accept her as our overlord so that she will just stop. If stretching these bounds requires a little help from Pokemon, so be it. As I have said it on many occasions before, you are better off leaving and enjoying the rest of your day because you can’t unsee the image and it will haunt you – you have been warned:
See, I told you…
Sent in by Physalis
Hello Kitty True Identity
Have you ever wondered what is lurking inside Hello Kitty? Seriously, was there ever really any doubt?
Sent in by maureen (via anime photos)
Hello Kitty Razor
Yet another company sells its soul to the evil feline and Hello Kitty continues her quest to Hello Kittify every form of transportation possible with a marketing deal that will have Razor produce Hello Kitty razors in the near future:
Hello Kitty Jack-o-Lantern
It’s not like there was any surprise that this was coming. My wife loves to create Hello Kitty pumpkins and the fanatics out there have never had a problem sending me their Hello Kitty pumpkin carving creations to give my wife more ideas. I have the distinct feeling that I will be getting more to add whether I want them or not because Hello Kitty fanatics don’t understand the concept of “don’t share” and they seem to feel (for some unfathomable reason) it’s their duty to make my life all the more Hello Kitty Hellish.
Sent in by Alice
Sent in by Jessica
From Shelly via Facebook
Sent in by carmenkitty
Sent in by Gayla
Sent in by hellokitty_luver
Sent in by Layla
Sent in by Ericka (“I thought someone might enjoy seeing an evil Hello Kitty with a katana that I made into a jack o lantern last night.”)
Left by Kathryn via facebook — one for each of the last four years.
Sent in by Kelsey
Hello Kitty Hello Kitty
It pains me greatly to have to write the evil feline’s name each time I make a new post on this blog. The simple fact that I had to type Hello Kitty twice for the title of this post should be enough to warn you that what you are about to see isn’t going to be pretty — Hello Kitty made out of Hello Kitty goods:
