Fashion – Page 15 – Hello Kitty Hell

Hello Kitty Bikini Plush Nightmare

February 27, 2008 by onezero

Damn, just damn (shakes head, tries to push image out of mind, feels ice-cream type headache invade brain and no matter what is attempted, the image won’t go away…)

I know that part of living in Hello Kitty Hell is the risk that something will show up in my email that will traumatize me for the rest of the day. On occasion the photo will traumatize me for the week. If it is really horrible, it may traumatize me for a month. I think this one is going to traumatize me for the rest of my life:

There isn’t much that crosses my computer screen these days that makes me jump back in my chair so that it topples over backwards and I instantly want to sear my eyes with hot branding irons, but this did. Damn…someone tell me how I can make this image go away…

Sent in my Lauren who should have to stare at this photo every morning for the rest of her life before she starts her day for thinking for an instant that sending me this photo could ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Pet Jewelry

February 26, 2008 by onezero

In Hello Kitty’s never ending quest to dream up new ways to sell anything with the evil feline on it, the people at Sanrio have once again outdone themselves. If expensive Hello Kitty jewelry for yourself isn’t enough, you can now share it with your dog (No, I’m not kidding…and all for the low price of $175 (118,900 yen)

Jewelry that you share with your pet?!? Common sense would dictate that there is absolutely no way that something like this would ever sell, but alas, anyone that has been following this blog for even a short period of time knows well that common sense is the oil to Hello Kitty’s water. As I sat staring at the email in disbelief, it didn’t take long to see where this was going — you know that as bad as this is, it is simply the bridge being built to launch a complete line of Hello Kitty pet (exclusive) jewelry in the near future.

Hoping against hope that my wife would somehow see this as ridiculous, I actually showed it to her (yeah, beat me over the head for my stupidity). Now one would expect that the Hello Kitty fanatic would reply, “Oh, this is the cutest thing ever!” which my wife dutifully did, but her next response goes to show how far Sanrio has brainwashed the fanatics. She continued, “We need to get a dog” as if this was the most normal way to respond when having found jewelry that she wants to buy. Just one more episode to show that things can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by oj who deserves an especially drastic form of torture for thinking for one moment that sending this to me would be a good idea and for the trauma I will have to endure for the next month explaining to my wife that “no, we do not need a dog to go with that jewelry…”

Hello Kitty Perez Hilton Shower Cap

February 22, 2008 by onezero

Hello Kitty is bad. A Hello Kitty shower cap is worse. Perez Hilton wearing a Hello Kitty shower cap as a fashion statement pretty much is the thing nightmares are made of:

It seems to me that Perez Hilton wearing a Hello Kitty shower cap as a fashion statement pretty much sums up everything wrong with Hello Kitty. It’s seeing photos like this that make me think that there are great advantages to being blind. I guess it does serve a purpose of sorts – with all the people that must get sick around him when he is wearing that, at least his hair has some protection from the flying food chunks.

Of course, my wife doesn’t see it that way. For her it is simply proof that even those that are famous love Hello Kitty and therefore there should be no reason that I would not be willing to wear Hello Kitty as well. If it ever comes to the point where you see me out on the streets in a Hello Kitty shower cap, simply take one of the many Hello Kitty lethal weapons and quickly put me out of my misery…

Sent in by numerous readers (which again, is quite a disturbing trend in itself) who all should have to parade around with the same head fashion sense for thinking that sending me this photo to see could ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Baby

February 19, 2008 by onezero

Once again Hello Kitty Hell proves that it can always get worse…

You knew it had to happen eventually. If Hello Kitty fanatics were willing to place Hello Kitty heads on cats and dogs, it didn’t take much of a leap to know they would eventually do it to their own babies as well:

This is so obviously wrong that I don’t know where to even begin. Isn’t there a law somewhere that states completely humiliating your child for the rest of their life is some sort of child abuse? If there isn’t, this is the perfect proof that there should be.

Of course, my wife thinks this is “the cutest thing ever” which means that I will have to endure something similar if we ever have kids. While I do worry that such antics will scar the kids for life, I’m sure that having to deal with Hello Kitty child cuteness will scar me far more since it will only fuel the Hello Kitty Hell flames taking it to a whole other level…

Sent in by Mhkitty who should be punished in unthinkable ways for putting the thought of this into my wife’s mind and seeding my nightmares for the rest of the month…

Hello Kitty Sexy Nightmare

February 6, 2008 by onezero

I know it’s going to be a really bad Hello Kitty Hell day when something like this arrives in my mailbox. Seriously, this is what my nightmares are made of:

This is just so wrong on so many different levels that I don’t even have words to describe how much it scares me. The worst part being that Hello Kitty fanatics think that this is sexy and would be something that would turn men on. Damn, I’m not going to be able to sleep well for the rest of the month now with this image branded into my brain and I will fear walking in the door for even longer on the chance that this has given some type of inspiration to my wife. Once again, Hello Kitty Hell proves it can always get worse…

Sent in by devin who should have to date a woman just like this for the rest of his life (and even after death) for the trauma caused when I saw this and for thinking for even an instant that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Boxing Shorts

February 2, 2008 by onezero

You would think that Hello Kitty would realize that there are some areas where she just doesn’t belong, but the evil feline and her throng of fanatics are oblivious to this fact. Thus, you have creations such as the Hello Kitty Thai boxing shorts:

I think that it suffices to simply say that there is something seriously wrong with the world when Hello Kitty is showing up on boxing shorts…

Sent in by Matthew (via muaythaiart) who should have to wear those for the rest of his life for thinking for even a second that making me aware of their existence would ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Humiliation – Photo of Horror 3

January 23, 2008 by onezero

It’s my nightmare come true. No other words needed…

Left in the comments by Suzanne who says “My boyfriend dressed up in Hello Kitty stuff, but its only because the messageboard he visits had a thread called humiliating photos of yourself you wouldn’t want people to see so we took some photos” (it’s seems that he succeeded quite well and probably more than he ever anticipated since his girlfriend is leaving them on blogs like mine – someone is going to have a hard time leaving the house for awhile). Of course, this fails to address the reason why all the Hello Kitty crap was available in the first place…

Hello Kitty Hat – Photo of Horror 2

January 21, 2008 by onezero

As if the Hello Kitty photo of horror wasn’t enough to show the pain that the significant other of Hello Kitty fanatics must endure (see, if you don’t have a Hello Kitty fanatic in your life, you may have made the terrible assumption that taking a photo like that was reserved for only special times such as a trip to Puroland), here are some more photos sent to me showing how Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to make their husbands wear Hello Kitty head gear just because they think it’s cute.

You know that terrified look that wild animals get when they are trapped and know that death is just around the corner? That is the look in this guy’s eyes. Shifting off to the side with a last second hope that there may be some type of escape only to realize that his life is trapped in Hello Kitty Hell and there is no escape. Unfortunately, I know the feeling and recognize the panicked look all too well.

It once again goes to show that Hello Kitty fanatics have no clue of the torture they administer to their significant others. This look of terror is “cute’ in The Hello Kitty fanatic’s eyes, and they somehow convince themselves that he is actually enjoying himself. Then they take it a step further and send the photos to a blog like mine where they get posted to humiliate the man even further.

Worse, my wife then wants to know why I am not willing to do such things when other husbands will. This ultimately leads my wife to attempt to get me to do so, and me eventually spending the night on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.

Actually posting these photos was quite a dilemma. To do so is instant humiliation for the poor guy, and I know that he will not be able to leave his home for the next month due to embarrassment. At the same time, nobody would believe this actually takes place if I don’t (seriously, would anyone in their right mind think that dressing a man in a Hello Kitty hat would be a positive event in any way, shape or form and that people actually do it without photo proof?). I do need to send out a big “thank you” to him for taking another one for the Hello Kitty Hell team…

Sent in by Kelly, who deserves a special kind of Hell for 1) thinking it was a good idea to do this to her husband 2) thinking it was a good idea to take photos of the event 3) thinking it was a good idea to send the photos to me…

Hello Kitty Hot and Sexy

January 17, 2008 by onezero

I’ve grown used to getting email from Hello Kitty fans that take issue with my disgust of Hello Kitty to the point that they even wish death upon me, but this email was a change of pace. It is the first time I have received an email telling me that I don’t appreciate the “sexiness” and “hotness” of Hello Kitty:

in your hello kitty daze of hate, you fail to realize that hello kitty is the sexiest thing ever. there is nothing hotter than a girl dressed in only a hello kitty t-shirt and panties. Check these out!! hello kitty in all her sexiness. there is no way that you can say you hate hello kitty after seeing these!!

Here are the photos attached with the email:

Despite the urgings of the email, I still found myself in the bathroom relieving myself of caloric intake from the afternoon meal. There is something very wrong when Hello Kitty and sex appeal mix that should be obvious, but apparently some people don’t see. Furthermore, if it is Hello Kitty that is turning you on and not the woman herself, then you have created your own Hello Kitty Hell.

But in all fairness, I will let the readers judge since I do live in Hello Kitty Hell which does tend to warp perceptions when everything comes to you in shades of pink. Do these photos, because of the Hello Kitty theme, mean that Hello Kitty doesn’t have to be Hell or is this simply another attempt by the evil feline to brainwash every last soul into thinking that there can be times when Hello Kitty “isn’t all that bad?”

Sent in by greg who deserves to spend his life with a Hello Kitty fanatic for thinking that sending me these photos would be a good idea or that they would somehow relieve me from Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Head For People

January 8, 2008 by onezero

You knew that Sanrio and the evil feline wouldn’t be able to leave it alone with cats and more cats and dogs. They simply figured that if Hello Kitty fanatics were willing to torture their pets with these Hello Kitty heads, they would be more than willing to do it to themselves (even if it isn’t Halloween). Now the average person would say, “Wait a minute here. Hello Kitty fanatics are fanatical, but even they wouldn’t be so fanatical as to want a Hello Kitty head to wear on there head.” This, of course, is why Sanrio is a multi-billion dollar company and non fanatics are shaking their heads in amazement with only a few dollars in their pockets wondering if there could ever be an end to this:

Sometimes a picture says it all and there is nothing left to do in Hello Kitty Hell than to weep and hope the nightmare ends…

Left by emma-chan in the comments who I should wish unthinkable torture upon for even thinking it was a good idea to leave this photo for me to see, but who is obviously torturing herself far more than I could ever even imagine…