It’s really not like we need any more proof that there is something extremely wrong in the world. Just going through a few pages of this blog will make that abundantly clear. But for those who may have reserved a tiny space in their mind with doubt, I assume this will thoroughly erase it – Hello Kitty pasties:
It is quite disturbing when I find out that things on this blog are the inspiration for creating even more Hello Kitty crap. Take, for example, this Hello Kitty zombie cake:
It is amazing that week after week, when I somehow imagine that the worst of Hello Kitty has already found its way into our house and that things can not get worse (I know, I should know by now that it can always get worse, but all I have is hope…), it gets worse…much, much worse. There isn’t much that sends shivers down my spine these days, but this pretty much brings to the forefront the worst of my Hello Kitty Hell nightmares – a Hello Kitty tuxedo:
You know that game where you concentrate on some serene scene or maze and then all of a sudden a scary figure jumps out and scares the bejesuses out of you?
Well, that’s basically how I feel when I open my email from Hello Kitty fanatics (except I cry afterward instead of laugh). The latest in the long series that has done this to me was this photo:
What would be worse than a house full of Hello Kitty crap? How about a Hello Kitty House full of Hello Kitty crap?
The hot and humid days of summer are now in full force in Japan and that means having to deal with all the lovely mosquitoes. If you decide to go on a picnic and hike like we did this past weekend, it makes sense to take mosquito repellent with you. To my regret, I made the amateurish assumption that when I asked my wife to pack the mosquito repellent that it would be normal spray or cream mosquito repellent. I should have known better living in Hello Kitty Hell that assuming is always a bad thing to do. Thus, I was introduced to the Hello Kitty mosquito repellent patch:
It has been well established that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t need to have any use for a Hello Kitty product to still lust after it and decide that they need to add it to their collection. My wife doesn’t play any musical instrument, but that has not stopped her from collecting a small symphony of music related items.
The other day I was digging through our closet looking for my baseball glove (which fortunately, is not something that they currently make in a Hello Kitty pattern at Sanrio, but I have no doubt they are already planning to release a line) when I came across a Hello Kitty ukulele:
The thing about living in Hello Kitty Hell is that you can never make a simple request and not have the evil feline right there to haunt you. You would assume that if you asked your significant other if they could hand you a toothpick, you would get a normal wood toothpick. Not in Hello Kitty Hell. I asked my wife if she could hand me a toothpick after dinner last night and she actually handed me Hello Kitty toothpicks:
You knew that this day would come. Not only does Hello Kitty want to sell you computers (such as this, this and this) in her evil feline image, she now also wants to protect your computer from the inside as well with her new Hello Kitty antivirus and firewall software (while it is currently only available in Chinese, you know it’s only a matter of time…):
Once again Hello Kitty shows that there are no boundaries when it comes to combinations of herself and other things no matter how wrong the combination may seem to the rest of us. This can be seen vividly in things like the Hello Kitty Jesus tattoo, the Hello Kitty Darth Vader tattoo and this Hello Kitty ninja tattoo: