One mans hell with cute overload
My wife now wants to fly to New York this summer. Take one guess why? It seems that Tom Sachs has put up some giant Hello Kitty and friend statues in New York for the summer including a 18,000 pounds, 21-foot-tall Hello Kitty and a Hello Kitty water fountain:
I know that it’s going to be a Hello Kitty Hellish week when my wife comes up to me with a huge smile on her face, her hands behind her back and asks me the dreaded question, “Guess what I have for you?” At that point I usually think that it would be a lot less painful to simply off myself at that very second, but somehow I manage to get a serene look on my face and ask back, “I have no idea, what is it dear?” (I think if they gave a reward for the person that could hide their true emotions, I would be in the running). Then, of course, I get presented with something like Hello Kitty toothpaste:
What, exactly, is it with Hello Kitty fanatics, tattoos and combining things that never should be combined? (Plenty of examples for your torment). Let me introduce you to yet another one — the Hello Kitty Skuterrfly tattoo:
In Hello Kitty Hell one would imagine that it couldn’t get worse than having Hello Kitty on every shelf constantly staring back at you in your home, but then that would be once again underestimating the evil feline. Now I have to constantly watch where I walk so that I don’t trip over my wife’s latest addition to her ever growing collection: the Hello Kitty Robomop:
When things like this arrive in my mailbox, I know that it’s going to be a Hello Kitty Hell week that will not go well. It’s bad enough that I have Hello Kitty living all around me, but the thought just got a whole lot worse – Hello Kitty may actually be living inside me (this is a genuine Upper GI Endoscope image of a duodenum):
Getting a Hello Kitty tattoo is bad, getting one right smack front and center of your forehead pretty much assures that you have – how should I say this diplomatically – lost your damn mind (my theory is that Sanrio has invented a Hello Kitty virus that makes people do things like this…):
If you had any doubt that no place was safe from the claws of Hello Kitty, that doubt may now be put to rest. Hello Kitty has managed to wriggle her way into a lot of places she isn’t wanted, but I figured there were a few places that would never take to her – like, perhaps, horror punk rock bands. But alas, I have once again underestimated the power that the evil feline possesses:
You know that Hello Kitty has Hello Kittified almost everything when Sanrio starts to place the evil feline on things that you can’t even pronounce like the Hello Kitty aneroid sphygmomanometer:
There are some things that arrive in my mailbox that are so out of bounds that I assume that it is a single crazy Hello Kitty fanatic that would do something like that. Take for example, Hello Kitty scarification. While the fact that anyone would do that in the first place is beyond comprehension, being the normal person I am, I assumed it was a one time aberration in the seam of the fabric of life since there was no way that more than one person would ever want to do something like that to herself.
Of course, I once again have greatly underestimated the fanaticism of those that worship Hello Kitty and once again had to jump back in horror when this arrived in my mailbox: Another Hello Kitty scar:
It appears that this video was made a few months ago, but it was just brought to my attention. The first Hello Kitty Hell fan video: