One mans hell with cute overload
While there are many things that trouble me in Hello Kitty Hell, whenever it has to do with my wife’s Hello Kitty cell phone I have no other choice but cringe. That’s exactly what I did when she discovered the Hello Kitty disposable solar cell phone charger:
One would assume that one Hello Kitty TV would be enough. Of course, that in no way dissuaded Sanrio from making another Hello Kitty TV. Or a third and fourth Hello Kitty TV as well. So, there really should be no surprise that there is a new Hello Kitty LCD TV that has recently been released:
It’s really not like my wife needs to pimp out her cell phone in Hello Kitty anymore than it already is, but then that simple piece of logic never makes any sense to a Hello Kitty fanatic. Thus she has her eyes on a $462 (50,000 yen) 18k gold (1.8 grams) Hello Kitty phone strap which she says will make the perfect accessory:
When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, one of the worst sounds you can hear is the doorbell. That is because there is a 99% chance that whoever is ringing it is doing so with the intention of adding yet another piece to the ever growing mountain of Hello Kitty crap that has already found its way into your house. Today’s doorbell ring did not disappoint.
It’s already been well established that Hello Kitty has produced more than her fair share of completely useless gadgets, but it doesn’t appear that this will in any way stop her from producing more. That’s why it should come as no surprise that the Hello Kitty portable body fat meter exists:
Kaleidoscopes are bad. Taking a kaleidoscope and making it into a projector so that you can beam the ever moving images on a wall or ceiling is worse — much worse. Taking the background of a kaleidoscope projector and filling it with Hello Kitty images to create the Hello Kitty kaleidoscope projector is nothing short of Hello Kitty Hell:
One of the worst things about Hello Kitty is the sheer abundance of terribly annoying crap that the evil feline produces. A perfect example of this is the Hello Kitty hole punch:
I know that things are getting bad in Hello Kitty Hell when the transformer Hello Kitty sewing machine doesn’t seem quite as bad as I first thought. What could get me thinking this way? The Hello Kitty face sewing machine, of course:
In Hello Kitty Hell one would imagine that it couldn’t get worse than having Hello Kitty on every shelf constantly staring back at you in your home, but then that would be once again underestimating the evil feline. Now I have to constantly watch where I walk so that I don’t trip over my wife’s latest addition to her ever growing collection: the Hello Kitty Robomop:
I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise since we all know that Hello Kitty will do anything to make a buck, but the evil feline has decided to turn computer laptops into a fashion statement and roll out new themes every 6 months. The process has been building over the years. At one point, you had to actually pimp out your own Hello Kitty computer before Epson decided to bling out the laptop for you. From there is went down hill. That success lead to monogrammed Hello Kitty themes and we all prayed that would put things to an end, but alas Epson has decided to come out with 2 more Hello Kitty themes: Flower and Airplane
In her never ending quest to Hello Kittify everything, the evil feline has gradually moved up in size when it comes to appliances. It therefore should not be a surprise (although you are more than welcome to feel intense disgust) that Sanrio is now pushing a Hello Kitty washing machine:
