It is depressing the sheer number of Hello Kitty tattoos that exist out there and doubly depressing that so many people have an uncontrollable urge to share them with me.
Tattoo
Hello Kitty Afro Samurai Tattoo
I don’t know which is more disturbing — that Hello Kitty tattoos actually exist or that they continue to mix and match the evil feline with other themes that make you simply say, “WTF?” That is about all that can be said for the Hello Kitty Afro Samurai Tattoo:
Hello Kitty Dracula Vampire Tattoo
Although I find it quite disturbing that Hello Kitty tattoos exist at all, the sheer number of Hello Kitty tattoos that are out there (and even more frighteningly, get sent to me) takes disturbing to a whole other level. The latest in this line of disturbing body art is the Hello Kitty Dracula tattoo:
I don’t understand what the fascination is with combining Hello Kitty with something else as a tattoo (then of course, I don’t understand combining Hello Kitty with anything, or merely Hello Kitty in herself, so I guess that makes it all a moot point anyway…) All I can say is that this tattoo is somewhat appropriate with the mix since Hello Kitty’s main goal is to suck the lifeblood of all those who happen to live with a Hello Kitty fanatic…
Of course, my wife loves it and has added it to her growing collection of tattoos that she wants (it’s now simply a matter of time before I come home to find her first tattoo which will undoubtedly lead to her entire body covered in tattoos of the evil feline). That is something that is not being looked forward to in Hello Kitty Hell at all…
Sent in by jasmine who deserves to have a Hello Kitty Dracula suck all the blood from her body for even thinking for a split second that sending this to me could ever be a good idea…
Update: When it rains, it pours…Brian (of Hello Kitty Jesus tattoo and Hello Kitty Darth Vader tattoo fame) has also recently done a Hello Kitty vampire tattoo:
Hello Kitty Hairy Foot Tattoo
Hello Kitty tattoos are disturbing. Hello Kitty tattoos on men are even more disturbing. Hello Kitty tattoos on the hairy feet of men with painted toe nails take disturbing to a new level:
I have no idea why people feel compelled to send me photos like this because there is absolutely no good that can come from showing images like this to anyone, especially me when I want to keep all my food down.
Sent in by Kat who deserves to have a boyfriend with a Hello Kitty tattoo on his hairy foot for even imagining that sending this to me would be a good idea…
Hello Kitty Gas Mask Toxic Shock Tattoo
I think it is time to begin to worry for the world and the human race when Hello Kitty tattoos continue to fill up my email box. The latest being a Hello Kitty toxic shock tattoo with Hello Kitty in a gas mask:
While obviously any Hello Kitty tattoo is disturbing in itself, the irony of Hello Kitty being the most toxic character in the world can’t go unnoticed (although it would have been more appropriate if Hello Kitty was in the form of gas and being sucked into the gas mask instead of wearing it). It would not surprise me if Sanrio has invented some type of toxic gas that they spread across the world that when breathed in increases Hello Kitty fanatics’ fanaticism. Of course, even if this ever came out, Sanrio would still use it to their advantage by making Hello Kitty gas masks for everyone to wear…which would pretty much on par with the way things in Hello Kitty Hell develop…
Sent in by Lynn who really should be forced to wear a Hello Kitty gas mask for eternity for thinking that sending me this photo of her teammate’s tattoo from her “Toxic Shock” roller derby team was a good idea in any way, shape or form…
Hello Kitty Darth Vader Tattoo
It was bound to happen because, as regular readers well know, this is Hello Kitty Hell and that means there is no limit when it comes to Hello Kittification. It also means that common decency is suspended and the sacrilege event of mixing Hello Kitty with other pop culture icons –which should not happen in the worst of nightmares — is common place. With a Hello Kitty Darth Vader and a Hello Kitty stormtrooper tattoo already in existence, it was only a matter of time before the Hello Kitty Darth Vader tattoo would appear:
There isn’t a lot more to say about this other than it’s wrong…just completely wrong…which, when you think about it, pretty much sums up Hello Kitty Hell in its entirety…
Sent in by tattoo artist Brian from Youngstown, Ohio (via a painting from Nick) who once again deserves the worst of the worst (and possibly a Hello Kitty tattoo of his own) for thinking in any way, shape, or form that sending this to me was a good idea…
Jesus Tattoo
It just never stops. When I listed the first set of Hello Kitty Tattoos, I naively thought that the topic wouldn’t come up again. It didn’t take long for the Hello Kitty Star Wars Storm Trooper tattoo to appear, then the Hello Kitty Batman tattoo which I, again, thought would put things to an end. But then there was the Hello Kitty zombie tattoo and then Hello Kitty zombie II tattoo. I felt those were never gong to be able to be topped until I saw the Hello Kitty scarification which pretty much clinched the title in my opinion, but alas, things always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…
I know you read the title of this post and were shaking your head in disbelief even before you looked at what I have written. You thought that I was exaggerating to draw you into the blog because there is no way in Hell (Hello Kitty or otherwise) that anyone would ever get a Hello Kitty Jesus tattoo. Hello Kitty fanatics are wacko, but there is a line even they will not cross, right? See, I have had that delusion too, but it always proves to be wrong because fanatics of the evil feline don’t know what a line looks like that shouldn’t be crossed. Thus, the Hello Kitty Jesus tattoo:
No problem, I’m more than happy to wait a few minutes while you clean up the mess on your computer screen and keyboard before writing more. Take your time and make sure that all food and drink have been expelled from your stomach before attempting to look again. No, it’s not a problem that you need to run to the bathroom again because while cleaning up you noticed that it really does say “Hello Kitty is my Jesus” – I’ve already been there and understand that the food just won’t stay down…
Each year I look at what Hello Kitty Hell the previous year provided and have a small glimmer of hope that things can’t get any worse. I pat myself on the back for surviving another year without gouging my eyes out with Hello Kitty forks (or spoons or chopsticks or basically any utensil since they have all been Hello Kittified) due to all the Hello Kitty that surrounds me and imagine that the worst is surely over. Then within the first two weeks of the New Year, something like this ends up in my mailbox to remind me that Hello Kitty Hell can always get worse and 2008 is going to bring unbearable amounts of Hello Kitty pain…
Sent in by tattoo artist Brian from Youngstown, Ohio who deserves the worst of the worst that Hello Kitty can offer for not only thinking for a second that it was a good idea to send this photo to me, but for also giving notice of what 2008 is going to be like in Hello Kitty Hell…
Hello Kitty Coffin Tattoo
What exactly is it with men and Hello Kitty tattoos these days? It is certainly not a good sign in Hello Kitty Hell when more and more are showing up in my mailbox such as this one:
We have yet another person getting a Hello Kitty tattoo who doesn’t know the difference between Hello Kitty and her sister Mimmy (it really is a toss-up of which is more disturbing — me knowing the difference between the two or some person getting permanently marked with the wrong character). Unfortunately, being backward stopped there. It would have been much better if Hello Kitty was actually being placed into the coffin instead of coming out of it (you know it’s simply a matter of time before we see a Hello Kitty coffin from Sanrio) with devil’s forked tail and horns instead of angel wings.
Of course, all these guys getting Hello Kitty tattoos simply gives my wife more ammunition to throw at me when I say that it just completely wrong for a guy to have a Hello Kitty tattoo (which, I feel is being quite generous since we all know that it’s completely wrong for anyone to have anything Hello Kitty, but that would inevitably lead to a night on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag).
Which brings us to what makes living in Hello Kitty Hell so bad. Anyone that looked at Hello Kitty clothes for men would know instantly that these were wrong, but when you start comparing them to being forced to get a Hello Kitty tattoo, all of a sudden, for a brief moment, you think that maybe Hello Kitty clothes for men aren’t so bad after all. Then again, you realize that being impaled with a whaling harpoon also doesn’t seem quite as bad as either and it helps bring things back into perspective…
Sent in by Georga (via Mr. Happy) who should have to spend all her days with this guy for the mere thought that it would be a good idea to send me this photo…
Hello Kitty Candy Tattoo
The flow of Hello Kitty tattoos into my email box continues unabated for reasons I cannot fathom other than Hello Kitty fanatics think it is fun to nauseate me on a regular basis. The latest in the growing list is a Hello Kitty candy tattoo:
I like sweets as much as the next person, but you know when you eat too much and that sugar high quickly turns into an overwhelming feeling that all contents in your stomach should no longer be there. That is what it basically feels like to live in Hello Kitty Hell all the time making this tattoo aptly appropriate (although it would be more accurate with the vomit aftermath at the bottom).
Even worse, it doesn’t look like it is going to stop here:
I went threw 6 hours of pain for this and I will do it again!! And thank you for giving me more ideas for more Hello Kitty Tattoos.
Of course, my wife loves it. “Hello Kitty is always surrounded by sweetness. How could you not love a tattoo like that?”
Let me count the ways…
Sent in by Melissa who deserves a whole lot more than 6 hours of pain for thinking it was a good idea to email this to me…
Cutting Scarification
It’s already been well established that Hello Kitty fanatics are, to put it diplomatically, fanatical. In being so, they go far beyond what most of us normal people would consider, for lack of a better word, sane. Usually this merely means buying lots of useless Hello Kitty crap, but apparently some are willing to go to painful lengths for the evil feline:
Of course, I have fallen once again into the classic Hello Kitty Hell trap of believing that it couldn’t get any worse than the Hello Kitty tattoos for body modification. I never learn…it always gets worse. Apparently true Hello Kitty devotion means splitting you skin open to permanently scar Hello Kitty’s image into your skin. Again, I hope this person really wanted Hello Mimmy (Hello Kitty’s sister) and not Hello Kitty on her arm (it still bothers me that I know the difference) because it doesn’t look like those scars will be coming off once the cuts have healed…
Sent in by Morgan (via modblog) who should have to suffer the same treatment for thinking it was – in any way, shape or form – a good idea to bring this to my attention.